What would you do?
Back story:
Brother has 2 children with his ex (let’s call her A). They are 17 and 18 years old. They had them very young and split up when the youngest was 3. She went on to have 4 more children with another man whom she married. That relationship also failed and last year she met and married another man 21 years her senior and has just had another baby with him. He is very wealthy. She is 37.
I’m not sure what to do. My brother has told me over the years what an incapable mother she is but I didn’t really know the extent of it. I thought he was always exaggerating.
Yesterday, I went to collect my nephew (the 18 year old) so he can to the school pick up with me (her daughter is in reception with my son). As the builders were in, the doors were open and I popped my head in the door and called his name. He was asleep on the sofa and jumped up. He had no idea what time it was (midday) and I told him he needs to collect his little sister from school. It was obvious he was stoned. The house was a complete mess. The 7 year old was feeding himself out of a tin of spaghetti hoops. There was food all over the floor. The bins were overflowing and there was rubbish everywhere. The sink was full to the brim of dirty crockery. There was even tuna in the sink?! The dining table was filthy. I mean what do you expect when there are kids roaming around a house on their own. He even asked me to make him a sandwich, which I did because I felt so bad for him. They all go to kids club after school every day until 6pm because she refuses to look after them after school. Her children eat sugar all day and she put money in her 18 year olds account to order Mcdonalds for the kids. The 4 year was drinking coke. I could go on and on about what I saw and I felt awful walking away.
Where is A? She is away with her new man living it up in a posh hotel Bristol for 2 nights. She goes away quite often to very expensive places and gets her 2 eldest to look after the 4 youngest. She has recently given up her council house and has moved into a large house. I feel like her kids are no longer important to her. My sister and I think this is totally unfair as she is putting so much pressure on them to look after her kids! They can’t even look after themselves properly. They are also doing so poorly at college because of this.
I’m concerned for all 6 kids. What should I do? Should I stay out of it or talk to her?