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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a cat when I don’t like cats?

122 replies

Livvielo · 09/09/2021 03:40

AIBU to consider getting a cat when I don’t really like cats?
I don’t HATE them - note: I’m a vegetarian. However, I don’t see myself a ‘cat person.’
DD’s 8 and 11 have wanted a cat for a while now. DH is keen. He had cats growing up, and his mum has 3 cats- we’ve catsat them on a few occasions. I’m just thinking if it would maybe sense I don’t really like cats and if that would really be fair. Or if it would be perfectly fine being loved and cared for by the rest of the family?

OP posts:

woodfort · 09/09/2021 09:17

I dislike cats but I’m considering getting one because I hate our mouse problem more.

Like you, the DC would love it and DH grew up with animals.

Smartiepants79 · 09/09/2021 09:22

I think if you’ve got three other people in the house who are prepared to most of the work, you’re not allergic and you’re not scared of them then you’ll be fine to have a cat.
They’re much less demanding than a dog.
You’ll also probably find that you become quite fond of it when it’s living with you.

FatJan · 09/09/2021 09:36

@SarahBellam

Well at least we know you’re not going to eat the cat.

Definitely a step in the right direction 😂😂

Good thing she's a vegetarian or that cat would be in trouble!

SoloISland · 09/09/2021 09:36

I was always a cat person but was never allowed as a child and young person to have a cat...

Then for years in university and rentals. Still no cat...

But love conquers all.... Well over forty when I rescued my first cat,,, Then when I owned my home? Bread Siamese for years

Then started rescuing.

Now at a great old age I am the Cat Lady of the small island where I live. Every island cat lives here.. I feed them from my pension happily.
Bliss is a home filled with furry purrers.

So I was always a cat person.

SoManyPaws · 09/09/2021 09:38

I think if you’ve got three other people in the house who are prepared to most of the work, you’re not allergic and you’re not scared of them then you’ll be fine to have a cat.

Only one of those 3 is an adult. Kids of 8 and 11 will be at school, at clubs, out with friends etc. They also won’t be the ones to reliably deal with litter trays, a cat bringing mice and birds home as presents, vet visits or costs.

igiveup2021 · 09/09/2021 09:38

Are you saying your a veggie so we don't think you'll end up cooking the cat? Bit random. 😂

If you get a cat, don't rehome it as your going in agreeing to the cat.

MatildaTheCat · 09/09/2021 09:39

Do not for one second think your DC will care for the cat in any meaningful way other than to stoke it occasionally.

We got a cat for DC 2 when he was 8. Cat died last year aged 20. I was fond enough of her but she was an independent sort and didn’t go in for affection.

So be very sure you want a pet and maybe consider getting an older cat.

Silversun83 · 09/09/2021 09:39

@SarahBellam

Well at least we know you’re not going to eat the cat.

igiveup2021 · 09/09/2021 09:40

@SoloISland your cats are beautiful. So glad it worked out for you. Cat people are the best.

thenewduchessofhastings · 09/09/2021 09:40

My DH hates cats;we have 2.They are his babies.He and they are smitten with each other.My DH won't go near any other cat though.

RamblingJenny · 09/09/2021 09:41

Agree with others. You might surprise yourself and become a cat person, as long as you don’t give off ‘negative vibes’ - because that’s not really kind for them! But if there’s 3 others in your household who are in favour that is more than enough love and attention!

Also, anyone else noticed when cats know someone doesn’t like them that they’ll love to wind that person up further by forcefully attempting to sit on their lap or rub against them? I swear my cats always make a bee line for the family/friends that hate them ha!

NobbyButtons · 09/09/2021 09:41

My mum wasn't a cat person but we got two cats as children. They were happy enough getting attention from other people. Just don't do what she did and have them put down when your youngest goes to university.

My DH wouldn't have said he was a cat person before we got our cats, but he loves having them now.

Goldbar · 09/09/2021 09:54

There's a difference between hating cats and just not being fussed about them.

Since you don't HATE them (and there's little risk of them turning up in the stew if they annoy you), the relatively small amount of care they require (at least when past the kitten stage) might be repaid for you by the pleasure they bring the rest of the family. This is even if (as inevitably happens) most of their care defaults to you. Totally different from dogs which require so much more care and time and which are a nightmare unless trained and cared for properly.

QueenOfDuisburg · 09/09/2021 09:55

Hmm. I was in the same situation as you - not really a fan of cats but I gave in and got one after endless nagging from the children.

She is very easy to look after on a day-to-day basis and the kids love her. She is a sweet cat.

I'm still not a cat person though. I find the smell of cat food really unbearable (although nobody seems to agree with me on that so I accept it's a personal issue!), and I have struggled to deal with 'incidents' that only an adult can handle (for example, she recently had a very bad wound on her tail which had to be dealt with, treated, etc - my children are too young to help out with this kind of stuff).

Don't get me wrong, our cat is part of the family, but I wouldn't get another.

willowsimba · 09/09/2021 09:56

My husband always said he wasn't a cat person until we got our cat and now he absolutely adores her. You may find when it's your own cat your feelings change.

Blackberrybunnet · 09/09/2021 09:57

3 out of 4 people in your household want a cat. Majority rules. We ended up with 2 dogs for the very same reason (I hate them). I did, however, make some conditions, and would suggest you do the same - they look after them (apart from exceptional circumstances); you get to choose the cat (so you don't end up with some horrible long-haired thing that leaves hair all over the house, or a tom that sprays everywhere). The vegetarian thing is very relevant - cats are meat eaters and will bring you dead mice and birds: just a warning.

Nearlyme · 09/09/2021 09:57

userxx

Really v funny

LST · 09/09/2021 09:57

@Shade17

YABU. Fucking vile things!

They aren't though are they. Why are they vile? Because they poo in your garden and hunt? Like pretty much every other carnivorous animal?

shouldistop · 09/09/2021 09:58

As long as you don't try to make the cat vegetarian.

Nearlyme · 09/09/2021 10:00

SoloISland that is what I want to do when I retire! What a lovely life

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/09/2021 10:01

My friend was not a cat person, but her son and DH wanted a cat, so she gave in.

Now she sends me cat photos every day - photos of the cat sitting on the sink while she brushes her teeth, lying on the keyboard while she works, hiding her shoes so she can't go out... She tells me seriously that they have a unique and timeless bond. I don't tell her it is just that she has turned into a cat person.

This could be you OP!

Do it, I say.

FastFood · 09/09/2021 10:11

@Justmuddlingalong

The cat will make all decisions. Including wether or not you're a cat person.

So true.

hangrylady · 09/09/2021 10:16

I think if you don't hate them and aren't allergic it will be fine. If everyone else in the household are cat people then it will be looked after. My friend has recently got a kitten and despite her DH 'hating' cats he treats it like a son! Also cats are pretty low maintenance so you wont need to do much if the others are looking after it.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 09/09/2021 10:18

I was always a dog person, DP had always had cats, so we were pet free. Then we looked after MIL's cats while she was away and I realised I could be both a dog and a cat person - our small, shouty manager arrived here a few weeks after MIL's two departed.

I love her so much! She has her moments, bringing in mice, and constantly begging for food, and I could do without everything being covered in hair, but she is my best wee chum and I wouldn't be without her for the world. In the summer she would live outside if we let her, but from September through to about April she's a lovely purring lapcat which is delightful.

holrosea · 09/09/2021 10:21

I had cats growing up and dithered over adopting one (more about whether I can be arsed to genuinely take care of something). Having adopted a 7 YO deaf cat in March 2020, I can confirm that I absolutely adore her and she is my spoilt baby.

I think key things that make it easier to love a cat when you are not a cat person are:

do you have space for the cat to roam (either indoor and out) so you can take time out?
do you have a variety of toys? Worn out cats are far more cuddly and pleasant.
are you a light sleeper? Mine wakes me up around 4 am but I don't really mind so much as I fall back asleep easily.
can you put a litter tray in a gagrage/outside? Your love will falter when it takes a massive shit behind you during a yoga session.
do you have a house full of ornaments or precious keepsakes? Or expensive furniture? Cats WILL destroy your sofa and knock over your wedding photo.
do you have someone to look after it or a good cattery nearby? I have been lucky in finding people to look after mine during long holidays (France) but this can cost €€€/£££ if you need to pay cattery fees.

Good luck!

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