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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a cat when I don’t like cats?

122 replies

Livvielo · 09/09/2021 03:40

AIBU to consider getting a cat when I don’t really like cats?
I don’t HATE them - note: I’m a vegetarian. However, I don’t see myself a ‘cat person.’
DD’s 8 and 11 have wanted a cat for a while now. DH is keen. He had cats growing up, and his mum has 3 cats- we’ve catsat them on a few occasions. I’m just thinking if it would maybe sense I don’t really like cats and if that would really be fair. Or if it would be perfectly fine being loved and cared for by the rest of the family?

OP posts:

Blueskyrainshowers · 09/09/2021 08:06

@user1471548941

This is my “not a cat person” DH… just saying…

This happens the minute he sits down every evening! He is the cat’s favourite and the cat is his favourite… 🙄 guess which one of us was desperate for a cat?!

My DH and cat have a very similar arrangement.

LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone · 09/09/2021 08:07

My DH didn't want a cat. "Bloody horrible things" he said.
So I love it when I overhear him talking to her in loving tones when he doesn't know I'm there 😁

londonrach · 09/09/2021 08:07

As not a cat person the cat will choose you as his or her best friend....my friend wanted a cat, husband not a cat person....said cat spends it's time with her husband who now a very much a cat person or a car person to this cat.

Blueskyrainshowers · 09/09/2021 08:10

How deeply vegetarian are you @Livvielo?
Will you mind having to feed an obligate carnivore?
And note it will be you, not your children, who is likely have to pay eye wateringly expensive vets bills as a cat ages (she says wearily having 2 aged specimens and a vet who's extremely good at parting us from our money)

Beamur · 09/09/2021 08:10

They're pretty easy pets. If all the rest of the family are keen and you're indifferent I would go for it.
Personally I think having pets and kids is a lovely way to show children how to value and care for living things. Pets are also generally very good for kids self esteem and empathy and are good, quiet listeners. Our cats bring us all a lot of joy and happiness.
Just be aware of the downsides - they do need meaty food, cats are carnivores and will become ill without enough protein. Litter trays, vet bills, insurance, etc. Bringing in prey, both dead and alive is also likely if they go outside.

Sneesher · 09/09/2021 08:12

My DH wasn't a cat person until we got a cat.

Now he carries the cat around like a baby, sings to him, and spends hours gaming with the cat curled up on his lap.

MrsRobbieHart · 09/09/2021 08:13

I’m just thinking if it would maybe sense I don’t really like cats

It will, and then it will sit on you until you love it so much you’ll make your husband sleep on the floor to avoid moving the cat from his side of the bed.

SoManyPaws · 09/09/2021 08:14

Personally I think everyone in the household should really want an animal to have one, especially the adults who responsibility will fall to. There’s so many posts on here about people not enjoying or resenting having a pet due to mess, costs, restrictions. Animals should be really wanted in my opinion.

Hopeisallineed · 09/09/2021 08:17

I think the difference with cats is they pretty much please themselves. They are much more low maintenance than dogs and mine pretty much just get on with their life around me until it’s good time. Unless you absolutely ‘hate’ cats, then I don’t think it matters if not everyone is onboard but I would not say the same if you were getting a dog as that is much more impactful.

RobinPenguins · 09/09/2021 08:18

My DH and my dad too were both not cat fans until they got their own. That said, if you really don’t want one you don’t have to agree to it. We’d be getting a dog over my cold dead body and I appreciate others feel the same about cats.

Glassy5 · 09/09/2021 08:23

I’m not a cat person either. I think the cat will drive you crazy bringing in half dead things and waking you up to be fed at 6am (my experience with my partner’s old cat!).

Also as a vegetarian too, all that killing she did and buying all that cat meat didn’t sit right with me.

I would say: don’t get a cat!

Mercurial123 · 09/09/2021 08:29

Also as a vegetarian too, all that killing she did and buying all that cat meat didn’t sit right with me.

You wouldn't date/live with/marry a meat eater?

trumpisagit · 09/09/2021 08:35

Our cat is the most revered character in our house. Even the teenager says hello to her when she walks in the room.

I would get a friendly rescue cat if I were you. Dcat was a rescue and is perfect.

squashyhat · 09/09/2021 08:37

Would everyone be encouraging the OP to get the animal if it was a dog?

Glassy5 · 09/09/2021 08:38

@Mercurial123

Also as a vegetarian too, all that killing she did and buying all that cat meat didn’t sit right with me.

You wouldn't date/live with/marry a meat eater?

Of course! I’m married to a vegetarian (now) but have had relationships with meat-eaters in the past but I don’t control their diet! Or how they spend their money!

But buying this cat meat with my money felt a bit contradictory to my beliefs. Like: why did I value this cat’s life above the hundreds of chickens and fish she ate (which was probably low quality and therefore the animals had an awful quality of life), plus all the birds and mice she killed?

I’m aware that it’s the circle of life and she’s a carnivore, but she was born to be someone’s pet, she wasn’t out in the wild.

Anyway, I’m NOT judging anyone for owning a cat at all. I’m sorry if it sounds that way. I am just saying that, as a vegetarian, I didn’t like having an animal I bought so much meat for - plus she was a killer.

I wouldn’t get any carnivore pet for that reason. That’s personal and I know that makes me sound pious; I’m not, I just don’t like buying meat.

I don’t think it would put all vegetarians off, but I do think it’s worth mentioning as the OP - as a vegetarian - may not have thought about that.

userxx · 09/09/2021 08:39

@squashyhat

Would everyone be encouraging the OP to get the animal if it was a dog?

Get a greyhound, best of both worlds. Cat-like-dog.

whatsthpoint · 09/09/2021 08:45

I did this. I don't really like them, a bit allergic, got it for the kids. Guess whose the cats favourite person and follow around non stop? Me.

ACreakingGateNeverStops · 09/09/2021 08:46

I'd recommend getting an adult cat, or at least a cat that is 6 months old rather that a little kitten. An adult cat will be easier to care for and will 'know the ropes'. If you go to a shelter the staff their should be able to recommend certain cats as being family friendly etc.

Kittens look really cute but can be really hard work, like children.

I am both,a cat and a dog person

queenatom · 09/09/2021 09:03

Was never a cat person, come from a long line of not-cat people. Husband has always had a cat as a child and desperately wanted one once we moved into an appropriate home (not a top floor flat!) I agreed on the basis that he was responsible for all litter tray cleaning and 'gift' disposal. We got a year old rescue cat and I am now completely in love - he is the sweetest, most charming little creature.

Definitely recommend getting a slightly older rescue if you can (i.e. not a kitten) as you'll be able to get a sense of their personality; our guy was super friendly and confident from the get-go, so my fears of having a hostile or standoffish pet never materialised.

Thefaceofboe · 09/09/2021 09:09

Me and my partner weren’t cat people till his nana’s cat had a litter and we volunteered to take 2 and we absolutely adore them. We’ve since rescued another elderly cat

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 09/09/2021 09:12

Don't do it. You don't know until you get the cat whether you're going to become a convert, and with several other cat-loving family members, there'll be no going back once it's there.

I'm not a cat person, but last summer I looked after a relative's house and two cats for a few months. I was kind to the cats, fed them, played with them, fussed them, interacted with them, etc., since that's what I was there for, and obviously I cared about their well-being and happiness and to some extent became fond of them. But it really cemented my not-a-cat-personness. I was so glad to get away from always having to be aware of where the cats were, not leaving any food out for even a second, not leaving the cooker unattended, never being able to assume a surface was clean, never feeling clean myself, cat hair everywhere, one or the other cat always up in my business demanding attention, not even being able to have a video call without cat interruption etc., and the constant smell and dealing with litter trays/hairballs/accidents.

AnnaMagnani · 09/09/2021 09:12

DH was not a cat person. My cats had other ideas😂 He is now!

Wolfiefan · 09/09/2021 09:14

Cats can live for over twenty years. They need more than food and water. If you can’t see yourself grooming and cuddling and flea treating and worming etc then don’t. This would be a family pet.

ColorMagicBarbie · 09/09/2021 09:16

I don't understand the vegetarian comment. You weren't planning on eating the cat, right?

siramram · 09/09/2021 09:16

I wasn't fussed on cats. We ended up with two kittens

They're my babies 😳 they're two now and a vital part of my household

Reggie has a lump and has to go to the vet in the morning, I'm distraught

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