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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD dd & Weekend away

50 replies

littlehouseonthepraire · 09/09/2021 00:06

She's 6, and we're due to go away this weekend. It's been booked for a year (we're meant to go last year but covid stopped it). We're going with some other families.

Dd really doesn't want to go. We've been away on small trips loads over the summer and I think she just wants a weekend at home after starting school again. Plus it's her bfs party.

I'm half inclined to just let her stay at home with DH and I go with other DD (who does want to go). WWYD?

OP posts:
vastgrandupgrade · 09/09/2021 00:08

Does DH want to stay at home?!

Original poster
littlehouseonthepraire · 09/09/2021 01:06

Yes he's happy to.

OP posts:
LifesNotEnidBlyton · 09/09/2021 01:11

No problem letting her stay at home with her dad. Ask her if she wants to stay at home just her and her dad or if she wants to be with you can all go so she can pick.

MorriseysGladioli · 09/09/2021 01:15

I'd let her stay home, but make it clear it's not always up for negotiation.
This time is fine, but it may not always be.

Dddccc · 09/09/2021 01:44

She is 6 dont let her dictate its planned booked and probably paid for if you cave now whats next she doesn't want to go to school

BeenThruMoreThanALilBit · 09/09/2021 01:48

Is there anyone banking on her being there this weekend Eg a friend her age, adult desperate to see her?

If not, let her stay home with DH. If so, tell her she can’t pull out in a whim when people are counting on her.

Note: this isn’t people pleasing. It’s treating others as you’d wish to be treated yourself: also, once she’s there she’ll probably have a great time. She 6. 6yos don’t hold grudges.

redtshirt50 · 09/09/2021 02:00

I agree with @BeenThruMoreThanALilBit

If her not going means another person will be disappointed then she needs to go.

If no one will bat an eyelid, let her stay home

Original poster
littlehouseonthepraire · 09/09/2021 07:36

No one counting on her being there , but the point about her dictating things is what's stopping me. I really don't mind if dff hi e stays, it's just if we're setting an unhealthy precedent

OP posts:
Yodelayhehoo · 09/09/2021 07:42

I'd be happy for them to stay at home but would let them know this isn't always going to be the case.
Would let her off this week after going back and for her friends party.

GoWalkabout · 09/09/2021 07:49

Its fine, you can flex your plans when you realise they don't suit everyone. She is just back at school and needs a) some downtime b) the social boost of the party as they are getting used to being in a social group again

Sirzy · 09/09/2021 07:52

So she already had a prior arrangement to go to her friends party? That would be the deciding factor in letting her stay to me

pasturesgreen · 09/09/2021 07:52

If everyone's happy with the arrangements, I'd absolutely let her stay home with her dad. Her best friend's party will be a big deal for a 6 yo.

MagnoliaBeige · 09/09/2021 07:56

I’d make her go, I actually thinking’s quite rude towards the other families you’re going with - she’s basically got a better offer and so half of your family group are not going on a trip that’s been booked for a year.

DrSbaitso · 09/09/2021 07:56

The party is a big deal for her. If your husband is OK with it, let her stay home.

DysmalRadius · 09/09/2021 08:02

@littlehouseonthepraire

No one counting on her being there , but the point about her dictating things is what's stopping me. I really don't mind if dff hi e stays, it's just if we're setting an unhealthy precedent
I think it's great to show that you will accommodate everyone when it's doable. You're showing her that her preferences are important and it's a nice thing to do when you can. I think it's healthy to adapt plans to suit everyone.
Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 09/09/2021 08:03

Imagine your house when she is 16 if the world turns for her at 6...?

Sirzy · 09/09/2021 08:04

@Brollypackedforscottishholiday

Imagine your house when she is 16 if the world turns for her at 6...?
Or she will be a 16 year old who understands her views are listened to and when possible taken into account (such as now) but that sometimes things will be non negotiable. Sounds like building for much more mutual respect really.
serialname · 09/09/2021 08:05

Children need to learn that if you have a commitment you can't change your mind just because you get a better offer. At 6 you go away as planned and you offer to have her friend to yours for a belated birthday tea later in week.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/09/2021 08:08

Which came first? The birthday party or the trip?

zenthoughtsonlythanks · 09/09/2021 08:13

I would respect her wishes, teaching her that her view matters is a very good thing op. Missing your bf birthday is important to a six year old!

I wouldn't want to go away again either, the summer is over, school has started and she is focusing on that now. I think it is fine to leave her at home.

Original poster
littlehouseonthepraire · 09/09/2021 08:15

Trip was booked first, but has been postponed for a year. Had we been booking it now we probably wouldn't have picked this weekend straight after the start of school. Am interested to hear all the views, which exactly represent my internal conflict!

OP posts:
AlvinSimonTheo · 09/09/2021 08:17

No, I'd say she goes but only because you've posted about both your kids and their behavioural issues and bullying others etc in the last few days.

It sounds like they need some rules and boundaries tbh.

Original poster
littlehouseonthepraire · 09/09/2021 08:19

Fair point @AlvinSimonTheo

OP posts:
Original poster
littlehouseonthepraire · 09/09/2021 08:19

Although it's not this dd who has had any of that tbf.

OP posts:
AlvinSimonTheo · 09/09/2021 08:20

Still, a bit of structure wouldn't go amiss. Letting a 6 year old dictate everyone's weekend is a bit much. Invite her friend for tea next week or something instead.