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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be completely overwhelmed by primary school already?!

73 replies

Ostryga · 08/09/2021 15:25

Dd had only been there one day so far and I’ve already had over 10 emails since Tuesday with reminders, things we need to do together (picture cards, watching a video, taking a photo relating to a word they’re learning in class, a book).

I’m happy Dd will be learning but I’m a full time working single mum and have about 7 seconds to myself a day, this seems like a completely mad amount of forms and things to do.

I’m happy to help Dd and work with her, but I feel like I’ve got a second job I was sort of expecting it be like nursery - send them in and a form every now and then.

Any top tips apart from wine to help get organised so my head doesn’t explode?

OP posts:

LawnFever · 08/09/2021 15:29

That’s a ridiculous amount of emails - tbh I’d be feeding back to the school that they need to consolidate them into one weekly mailer unless it’s massively urgent or a quick reminder of some happening tomorrow.

Are they saying it’s all mandatory? Are they suggestions?

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 08/09/2021 15:29

YANBU. I swear that primary schools all seem to think every child has a SAHP just dying to spend all day attending school functions, making costumes, and joining reading groups. Seriously, though, Ofsted are extremely keen on parent involvement as research links it strongly to outcomes etc, so schools are correspondingly very keen on it and it can feel very full on at times.

You will learn what you can safely ignore as time goes on. Put important stuff like days they need to go in costume or whatever in the diary straightaway, and if you only do one thing with her, try to make it reading at home every day or at least most days. You can let literally everything else go if you have to.

LawnFever · 08/09/2021 15:30

I mean basically it’s them who need to be more organised, not you!

FGSWhatNow · 08/09/2021 17:24

I've got two DCs at separate infant / junior schools. I've just counted and between the two of them, I've had 7 Class Dojo messages today. Reminders about PE kits. "Days for the Diary". Days that weren't in the "Days for the Diary" announcement Homework info. Please don't park across people's driveways. And so on. We need a bloody PA just to keep up with it 🤯

SpnBaby1967 · 08/09/2021 17:27

I saw a joke on FB which said

"I quit my job so I can read my kids school emails full time"

And honestly it resonated with me. I have 2 different schools to deal with, soon to be 3 different schools and honestly how I keep up I'll never know.

All I can say is god bless that one parent who is always on top of it and puts reminders in the school group chats!

Porcupineintherough · 08/09/2021 17:29

Schools are never organised in a way that's useful to parents, so you need to be very organised. Do as they ask for now. Within a few weeks you'll be better able to distinguish between the reasonable (use and return your childs reading book), the ridiculous (please send in 278 kitchen roll tubes and a set of Peruvian stamps by Monday) and the outrageous (tomorrow we are supporting X charity so please dress your child as a gopher and pay £1 for the privilege).

Outnumbered99 · 08/09/2021 17:29

Having the same problem i have two children that have just started new schools and one in the middle muddling along bless him and im not keeping up at all just now!

careerchangeperhaps · 08/09/2021 17:35

YANBU

I have 2 DCs that are older and in two different schools. Today was the first day back and I've had 13 emails with various things to log into, forms to send back etc.
I'm self employed so can do this during the day but I do feel for parents who have to do life admin after work etc. as this has taken hours today!

BendingSpoons · 08/09/2021 17:38

DD has just started year one. We have had about 6 emails. Yesterday we had 2 dates for class assemblies/plays, today we had 4 different meetings to attend on weekday evenings. Much easier last year when it was all on Zoom!

LeonoraTheLemur · 08/09/2021 17:41

That is a lot for a first day! Is she only in P1 / Reception? I thought our school was bad, but I think that's madness and I'm a SAHM!

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 08/09/2021 17:41

My kids' school memorably sent out a "suggested homeschooling timetable" that featured continuous, parent supervised lessons from 9-3:30 every day. This was for 6yos, so not much was going to be happening without supervision.

I genuinely wondered what they thought parents were doing all day. We ended up sending a polite email to the school on behalf of a number of frustrated and frazzled working parents.

Cocomarine · 08/09/2021 17:43

First week or two back is always more emails!
For every parent that would like a single consolidated email, there’ll be another put off by a wall of text who likes one email per request / piece of information. I’m not put off by a long email, but if I go back to find out what the word of the week is, I’d rather just have one email with that in one sentence than a long one to read.

Tips for all parents: you won’t be the only one who didn’t do it because you didn’t realise at all / knew but forgot/ couldn’t be arsed.

RedToothBrush · 08/09/2021 17:51

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity

I genuinely wondered what they thought parents were doing all day. We ended up sending a polite email to the school on behalf of a number of frustrated and frazzled working parents.

I think for the second lockdown it was a government requirement that schools provided a full timetable after some schools gave nothing in the first.

Certainly our school was very much of the attitude that they didn't expect everyone to do everything and the demands of the government were unrealistic and had no idea the pressure parents were under.

There were parents at our school who had definitely complained that their child hadn't been set enough and were pestering the school for more in the first lockdown and the school had told them tough.

So i dont think the schools could win.

zenthoughtsonlythanks · 08/09/2021 17:51

It is the first week, it is always like this. Give it a few weeks and you will be down to just a few emails and messages instead. It is the same every year. I am just relieved the dc are back in school!

SoundBar · 08/09/2021 17:51

That's overkill DC1 started school last week and so far no extra tasks to do.

Definitely feed it back, sounds ridiculous.

Turkishangora · 08/09/2021 17:51

YANBU, primary school is a nightmare. Now both of mine are at secondary it's such a relief. At one point between both children there was something that needed sorting every single week for about a term. In the end I think a fair few parents had a mutiny (including me) and sent a few strongly worded emails back and it calmed down a bit!

NailsNeedDoing · 08/09/2021 17:56

Fill in the forms the day they come or they build up. Set yourself phone reminders for dress up days or when they have to take something random in.

AlvinSimonTheo · 08/09/2021 18:04

Wait until you open the book bag at 8pm to find they need to go dressed as a canoe the next day. Fucking right laugh that is.

Demelza82 · 08/09/2021 18:06

I'd love it if my son's school was as aspirational as this.

DeepaBeesKit · 08/09/2021 18:10

That's too much.

But it's not like nursery in that a lot of the repetition needed for progressing in reading and writing happens with practice at home with parents. You might need to plan in how you can fit in 10 mins or so of reading practice (at least) 4 or 5 times a week once term gets going.

ohthatbloodycat · 08/09/2021 18:17

Please don't be 'that parent' who asks them to consolidate their emails. That level of foresight just isn't always possible in a school, as things come up (especially at the start of term) and the office staff work their arses off.
I fully agree with you that it's overwhelming - information overload! - especially at first but the key is to prioritise what you can and can't do. You don't need to stand to attention on every little thing.

Fredoftheforest · 08/09/2021 18:27

I spent three hours today reading today’s emails, putting important dates in the diary and filling in the forms they needed back. Fuck knows what I’d do if I actually had a job.

millenialblush · 08/09/2021 20:05

What did schools do before email/texts/tapestry? I'm sorry but no school needs to communicate with parents that much. Ours sends a text to all parents when the dessert menu changes

longue · 08/09/2021 20:06

life admin for my dc is breaking me

Peace43 · 08/09/2021 20:11

I’m a full time working single parent. DD goes to school in uniform / pe kit on the right days with a packed lunch. We read together for 15 minutes each evening. All bets are off on anything else. I’ve learned not to feel guilty. She’s 10 and year 6 and the emails are still coming. I have learned to prioritise the things important to my kid (her fantastic m

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