To be completely overwhelmed by primary school already?!

[Ostryga]

Dd had only been there one day so far and I’ve already had over 10 emails since Tuesday with reminders, things we need to do together (picture cards, watching a video, taking a photo relating to a word they’re learning in class, a book).

I’m happy Dd will be learning but I’m a full time working single mum and have about 7 seconds to myself a day, this seems like a completely mad amount of forms and things to do.

I’m happy to help Dd and work with her, but I feel like I’ve got a second job I was sort of expecting it be like nursery - send them in and a form every now and then.

Any top tips apart from wine to help get organised so my head doesn’t explode?

Welcome to school life. My top tip is don't read an e-mail if you can't deal with it immediately. Also have a few outfits up your sleeve for Pink day, Comic Relief, Roal Dahl day (get a yellow t-shirt it was his favourite colour).

My DD has just left school and I am chuckling at her complaining at all the e-mails she is getting from uni and that is now her responsibility and not mine!

I am just glad that I now have no more school aged children. I don't miss this utter shit at all.

It only gets worse

I have to brace myself every time I open the book bag or an email and constantly find myself thinking “oh what the bloody hell is it now!”

Especially when it’s things like a 4pm email while I was at work saying children need to dress up as a country for the olympics tomorrow, please try for a costume and also a prop..
I never anticipated the amount of admin for school life!
Plus the amount of £1 donations… can we not just pay by an app now?!

I remember we used to get so many repeat texts about stupid stuff and then one about a dress up day two weeks before the date and no reminder.
This used to piss parents off so much.
A reminder would have helped.
No class WhatsApp in those days.

I have three kids in three different schools and so far this week have had 4 emails, 2 seesaw messages, one letter that's come home with a child and one letter sent in the post!

Christ by the sounds of it I need a box full of things that can be made into fancy dress with an hours notice

I hope it does get better! I am hilariously disorganised by nature, so all these things that need looking at/doing/reading is crying my brain a bit.

Have ordered a big wall calendar and will utilise Google home’s reminders!!

Fuck sake though, you should definitely be told this before you get pregnant - by the way when your kid starts school it’s a third full time job after parenting and actual work!

Ds started high school last week. The lack of communication from the school is a stark contrast to dd, who is still in primary.

It’s the start of term. It’ll calm down. It’s a little bit like starting a new job - this is all new to you and it’ll all feel like a big deal. In a few weeks you’ll have worked out what’s important and what you can ignore and it’ll feel like old hat.

You do need to do a bit more than the occasional form though, it’s not nursery - I don’t make much effort with last minute “dress up as a tree” “make a castle from spaghetti” type projects, especially if my child is disinterested, but I do expect to spend at least 15 minutes a night per child listening to them reading and then some ad hoc times tables practice for the older one.

Oh yeah very happy to read with Dd, I’m looking forward to seeing her progress!

It’s just when I look at my phone after a day at work and I’ve got 6 emails all requiring me to do something. It blew my mind a bit!

@Itsbeen84yearss

It’ll calm down a little bit. It’s always chaos in September

Until December, which is admin carnage in primary school years!

@AlvinSimonTheo
“Wait until you open the book bag at 8pm to find they need to go dressed as a canoe the next day. Fucking right laugh that is.”

I have a generic witch costume (black dress, hat) so DD can be witch for Halloween, Mildred Hubble for World Book Day, and “Generic Evil Stepmother” for Fairy Tale Day. All of these days have occurred at varying times and usually with me missing at least one warning volley email.

Also got jerseys in local colours because every year to date has a random “dress up to support our side in upcoming match in the local team colours on Friday” day and I NEVER have clothing for the DC in the damn colours.

Have also this year pencilled in all end of terms dates so I can be prepared at work for further too-bloody-close-to-the-time emails to let us know the kids will be let out early that day as a treat. A TREAT FOR WHOM?!!!

Ignore the vast majority of emails.

Genuinely.

@Porcupineintherough

Schools are never organised in a way that's useful to parents, so you need to be very organised. Do as they ask for now. Within a few weeks you'll be better able to distinguish between the reasonable (use and return your childs reading book), the ridiculous (please send in 278 kitchen roll tubes and a set of Peruvian stamps by Monday) and the outrageous (tomorrow we are supporting X charity so please dress your child as a gopher and pay £1 for the privilege).

I'm sure we've had the 278 loo rolls and a set of Peruvian stamps one

It wasn't even better in lockdown, we got sent home learning (at the stage where loo roll wasn't available at all never mind for craft projects) that felt like "creative learning: make mini beasts out of everyday household items. Take 3 gold laminate picture frames, a package of roquefort cheese and 25 vintage Beano tokens..... "

Amazon prime is your friend

The best thing our school did was decide on world book Day they could either dress up as a character or "curl up with a book at bedtime" ie wear onesies/PJ's....

Primary schools seem to assume there's always at least one stay at home parent whereas that's actually pretty rare these days.

@Ostryga

Oh yeah very happy to read with Dd, I’m looking forward to seeing her progress!

It’s just when I look at my phone after a day at work and I’ve got 6 emails all requiring me to do something. It blew my mind a bit!

Just don't.

If it's that short notice, surely all the other parents aren't going to do it all.

Do what you have time and energy for and importantly, what they give you reasonable notice for!

In most places, teachers account for the fact that half the class won't do stuff they've been sent home to do.

I work in the school office and also have two children at a different primary school. I feel your pain.

Our Y2 were asked to bring in "3 things that represent you" on very short notice (the next day) and I found one poor parent scambling through her handbag, contemplating if a pack of polo's and a packet of tissue "represented" her child. She couldn't even find a thing

Poor parent who hadn't seen the message
Couldn't even find a third thing

Please MNHQ can you sort out an edit button.

All our emails are sent through parentmail. Which is the most useless fucking app going. It's slow, and clunky and half the time I cant find the email I just got the notification for saying I have an email.

But at least all the kids stuff came via one app. Now the secondary school has decided to quit parentmail and use Edulink. fuck sake

I usually find I have to block myself out a timeslot each week just to catch up on all the emails.

We are yet to have an email from DS1's school, a week in. I'm a bit concerned they don't actually have our address right.

So far I've discovered that, contrary to what it says in the welcome pack, reception children are not given their first book bag for free, so you need to pay up for that. And school meals need to be booked TWELVE DAYS in advance (this is written in small print in one paragraph of the lengthy welcome booklet, everywhere else it just says "meals need to be booked via School Comms" - I had to plead with the office to squeeze DS in next week. And apparently PE day is Friday - only found this out via the reception parents' FB group. I would be thrilled at a bit more official communication!

Just join the class WhatsApp group, that will tell you everything (and way more) than you need to know......

Unfortunately, schools have very little choice due to the lack of responsibility that some parents take.

For example, for the event I have on Monday:

• something was included in the whole school newsletter,
• however, lots of parents don't bother to read the newsletter (and have told us that they can't be expected to) so an individual letter was done,
• that letter had to be sent digitally and in print as some parents prefer the message direct to them and others don't bother to read it even when sent direct to their phones,
• despite having been notified about the same event three times, our office still had to field 4 calls from different parents asking about it because, and I quote, they "hadn't been told anything",
• an additional message was sent on Friday as a reminder, both of the event and of the permission link to complete,
• the link is just a simple click and type job taking 30 seconds (if that). With 10 hours to go, I still have not had permission from a third of parents.

For the parents who are on it, we know that it will feel as if they are being treated like infants. However, some parents go into screaming fits and tantrums if you don't hold their hand through the entire process so it's just impossible to win.