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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Changing plans at the last minute

33 replies

Dontmakemegoonatrampoline · 08/09/2021 11:44

We accidentally left our 5 month old's toy at my SIL's house.

Her house is on the way to our DD's school so we arranged that we would come to collect it from hers after we drop DD off. Her DH was supposed to be in so that we could collect it. She would not be as she was taking their eldest (3 years) to nursery along with their baby of 10 months.

That morning, SIL contacted us to say that her DH was no longer working from home that day so he would not about and could we pick it up under the same terms today, as he would be working from home today. It is worth saying that he is a full time position at a big corporation.

The same thing happened this morning. Her DH was called into work so would no longer be around.

There is "a chance" that SIL will be in town today so may be able to drop it off at some point but can't give us a time, instead asking "are you in all day?"

AIBU to think that whilst we do work from home, she should be able to give us some idea of an actual plan to return the toy.

OP posts:
ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 08/09/2021 11:50

Couldn't get worked up about it, frustrating but people are busy and it's not like they've planned for the DH to be called into work, it's probably not very high on her list of priorities, and you will be in all day.

FOJN · 08/09/2021 11:54

I'm afraid it was your mistake so you are really at the mercy of their convenience. Would it be possible for them to put it in a bag and leave it somewhere in their garden for you to collect on the school run?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 08/09/2021 11:58

No, you accidently left it there, she is going to try and return it ASAP.

Its a toy, for a 5 month old not your purse or something of great importance.

Shoxfordian · 08/09/2021 11:59

It’s not that important so yabu to think it should be their priority

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 08/09/2021 11:59

I'm not sure her husband can easily say he isnt attending a face to face meeting because he had to be at home so someone can collect a toy

GreyEyedWitch · 08/09/2021 11:59

YABU. It's a toy. You forgot it.

Disintegration1985 · 08/09/2021 12:01

Is it an important toy? ie. does DC need it to sleep, find comfort from it etc. in which case I'd just explain it's important you get it soon and you might need to make a special trip to theirs to collect it one evening maybe?

Palavah · 08/09/2021 12:01

Or you could ask her when would be convenient for you to collect it?

PersonaNonGarter · 08/09/2021 12:02

YABU

Astonishing that you think they should make plans for your forgotten toy.

ManifestDestinee · 08/09/2021 12:02

This is a joke, right?

Chloemol · 08/09/2021 12:04

YABU. Why do they need to be in? Just ask them to leave it somewhere to pick up ( by the front door, ,in a bush, in the shed or whatever)

It’s a toy it can’t be that important to your child otherwise you would gone and got it

PersonaNonGarter · 08/09/2021 12:07

It has to be a reverse.

stonebrambleboy · 08/09/2021 12:07

Tell her to put it in a plastic bag at the backdoor then go and get it.

Original poster
Dontmakemegoonatrampoline · 08/09/2021 12:07

OK I own that then.

I did think that it would be unlikely for him to have to go into work last minute considering his role, and i guess it was the "chance" that she may come along (or not) which means we need to wait around but I own that AIBU here 100%.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 08/09/2021 12:08

In the grand scheme of things it’s not very important, work commitments however are

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 08/09/2021 12:09

I did think that it would be unlikely for him to have to go into work last minute considering his role

Why would they lie? Confused

MalagaNights · 08/09/2021 12:12

You are being weirdly unreasonable.
They are getting on with life which is much more important than picking up a toy.

Original poster
Dontmakemegoonatrampoline · 08/09/2021 12:12

Again, they have tended to change arrangements/be late/not be massively hospitable whilst expecting hospitality back so not lie, but maybe be awkward ie: they did know he wasn't working from home but more made plans to change them. However, again I own it and my previous feelings are obviously clouding my judgment.

Thank you very much for the head wobble.

OP posts:
BeaFlowers · 08/09/2021 12:13

Can't they just leave it outside somewhere safe for you to collect whenever

Original poster
Dontmakemegoonatrampoline · 08/09/2021 12:16

@BeaFlowers apparently not

OP posts:
healmebaby · 08/09/2021 12:42

[quote Dontmakemegoonatrampoline]@BeaFlowers apparently not[/quote]
right. have you actually asked them to do this?

Eralos · 08/09/2021 12:45

It’s a 5 months you… they don’t really care about toys then. Just go when conveiniant for them. Even if it means making a special journey in the evening if you want it that badly. (or just get it next time you see them?)

PepsiHoover · 08/09/2021 12:46

I'd get sacked if I told my boss I couldn't come into the office tomorrow because I promised my SIL I'd be home for her to pick up Iggle Piggle that got left at my house last week.

MalagaNights · 08/09/2021 12:59

Ah this is connected to a feeling that they just don't really value you and generally won't put themselves out for you in any way.

That may be true.

This instance on it's own though doesn't show that. But as part of a wider picture it may have triggered that response in you.

Original poster
Dontmakemegoonatrampoline · 08/09/2021 13:15

No, but then BIL persuaded a member of the family that something (that belonged to said family member) was being sold because it was now worth some money as a "joke" so I guess I feel that he could do quite a lot just to be awkward.

Anyways, DH is out and I have to go out soon so I guess little Iggle-Piggle will be unreturned for another day whether she comes this way or not.

OP posts: