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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Can I get"

278 replies

Facilitatingdarkness · 07/09/2021 21:02

What's wrong with "Can I have"?

It doesn't even make grammatical sense! I've noticed it more and more when people are ordering coffee, to the point that more people say it than not.

Makes me irrationally angry. Just me?

OP posts:
DeepaBeesKit · 07/09/2021 22:20

Yanbu.

No one brought you a house, either.

BOUGHT. Please. If you purchased it, it's not something you brought, necessarily.

Evanna13 · 07/09/2021 22:20

"Can I get" is casual but absolutely fine and probably more appropriate in a cafe etc

"Can I have" is a bit more formal.

"May I have" is very formal and would sound unusual in a very casual setting.

I do not think any of them are rude but I do think someone who judges others on whether they say "can I have" or "can I get" might come across as very rude.

I think including a "please" is much more important.

Evanna13 · 07/09/2021 22:25

@lazylinguist

Things are phrased differently in different countries and regions where English is spoken. Sometimes those different ways of phrasing things spread and become popular elsewhere. This is normal.

No, 'Can I get...?' is not 'grammatically incorrect'. The grammar works perfectly well. Modal verb 'can', inverted with the pronoun 'I' because it's a question, followed by the verb 'get'. Perfectly correct.

Oh and 'get' can mean 'receive'. So a person asking "Can I get a coffee' isn't hilariously implying they're going to leap the Starbucks counter and fetch it themselves. They are asking if they may receive a coffee from the barista.

You probably don't like it because you're snobby about Americanisms, so you want it to be 'wrong'. It's not 'wrong'. Language evolves.

This is so well explained, thank you.
midsomermurderess · 07/09/2021 22:28

It's very common in Scotland. We are not a nation of rude boots. You are insecure about being sufficiently middle class. No one else give a fig.

FangsForTheMemory · 07/09/2021 22:29

People who think ‘may I have . . . please?’ sounds weird: you’re obviously too used to people not being polite.

midsomermurderess · 07/09/2021 22:32

Oh Fangs, that embarrassingly idiotic. Another one terrified of being though 'common'. It is laughable, just laughable. You'd be thought comical in the 1950s.

DynamoKev · 07/09/2021 22:33

@BrilliantBetty

Language evolves. It's an Americanism and is here to stay.

My father used to get annoyed by people said 'good' instead of 'well' or whatever in response to 'how are you'. It's completely the norm now, so what a waste of time it was getting frustrated by it.

Except it’s nice to retain a few quirks of English as spoken in the UK. Once we surrender our entire vocabulary and use of English to the US version, we’ll have lost a little something.
cheeseismydownfall · 07/09/2021 22:35

My children are as utterly average and unremarkable and as they come, but every time they politely begin with "May I have..." I'm a restaurant I feel like I am winning at parenting Grin

NewlyGranny · 07/09/2021 22:36

"Can I get?" is preferable to the awful "I'll take," (will you, indeed!) but not as polite as "I'd like...please," which is a match for the "Je voudrais," and "Ich möchte," we learned at school.

Nothing says good manners like a modal verb.

Zealois · 07/09/2021 22:37

I... had no idea people took issue with this. It's definitely a standard way of asking for something here in Ireland. I would sound odd saying "May I...', it's very formal.

Fluffypastelslippers · 07/09/2021 22:37

Also in Scotland and say this is common.

The other day though, In Costa sorry Starbucks the 2 women in front of me...

'His ladies, what can I get you today'

'Oh, em no share, what are you wan-in Ann'

'Dinnae ken, whit aboot a la-aye'

'Eh, that'll dae, ell get ein tae'

'Yeah, we are wan-in twa med-yum la-ayes'

And if you didn't get it all - instead of can I get or can I have it was we want Grin

minniemoll · 07/09/2021 22:38

Surely if we're being so pedantic the correct phrase should be "Can I buy an xxx?" as asking if you can have xxx implies that you're going to be given it? As in "Please can I have my ball back?

Monestera · 07/09/2021 22:40

I can’t stand “can I get” but when I hear “can I have..?” my internal voice says, “I don’t know, are you capable?”.

I’m also baffled at “may I have..?” sounding posh.

YourWinter · 07/09/2021 22:44

"Can I get..." is a hideous Americanism and I hate that both my adult DDs say it.

thevassal · 07/09/2021 22:45

@Runforthehillocks

It annoys me too. The answer to "Can I get?" is "Yes, go ahead".
so what would be the alternative? The answer to 'May I have...?' would be exactly the same. 'Yes you may.' [assistant then stands in silence as they've only agreed you may have an item, you haven't discussed how you are going to obtain or pay for it].

Is there any correct way to 'ask' for something where the literally correct response wouldn't actually get you what you wanted? Or would the only way be to demand 'Please give me an espresso." Which sounds a bit rude!

I know it's inferred that what you really want is for the served to provide you with the item in question, but in that case 'Can I get...' makes just as much, or as little, sense as any other way of asking.

Monestera · 07/09/2021 22:49

so what would be the alternative? The answer to 'May I have...?' would be exactly the same.

No it wouldn’t. “May I” is asking for permission, making a request. “Can I” is asking about capability.

iago · 07/09/2021 22:54

'A cup of tea/coffee/latte/whatever, please.' problem solved. No need to get or grab anything!

JaneTheVirgin · 07/09/2021 22:56

@lazylinguist

Things are phrased differently in different countries and regions where English is spoken. Sometimes those different ways of phrasing things spread and become popular elsewhere. This is normal.

No, 'Can I get...?' is not 'grammatically incorrect'. The grammar works perfectly well. Modal verb 'can', inverted with the pronoun 'I' because it's a question, followed by the verb 'get'. Perfectly correct.

Oh and 'get' can mean 'receive'. So a person asking "Can I get a coffee' isn't hilariously implying they're going to leap the Starbucks counter and fetch it themselves. They are asking if they may receive a coffee from the barista.

You probably don't like it because you're snobby about Americanisms, so you want it to be 'wrong'. It's not 'wrong'. Language evolves.

I love you 😁
Diverseopinions · 07/09/2021 23:06

I agree that " Can I get....?" sounds wrong. 'Have' puts the emphasis on the thing being asked for. 'Get' and 'got' emphasize the act of seizing, or securing: hence we say: "Get yourself a drink" or "Get a grip": it's more like a single action. When you ask "What are you getting for Christmas?" , it seems to emphasize that exciting moment of gain. Have sounds more continuous: we don't usually ask a kid: " What are you having for Christmas?" " What extra toys will you havevtomplay with on Boxing Day?" perhaps.
Maybe " I would like to have a latte, please" would solve the difficulty because it would allow ' have' to fall into its more continuous state.

"I'm choosing cheddar the scone, please" would be an elegant phrasing.

Geamhradh · 07/09/2021 23:11

Perhaps the posters insisting on the "wrongness" of "get" should write to the OED?
After looking up Dunning-Kruger. Wink

Diverseopinions · 07/09/2021 23:11

'I'm choosing the cheddar scone'.

I was always told that 'get' was a very lazy way of choosing verbs. "Lead that dog away from the cake", is more precise than "Get that dog away from the cake". " We bought the long dress, in the end" is more interesting than " We got the long dress, in the end'

Geamhradh · 07/09/2021 23:14

@Diverseopinions

I agree that " Can I get....?" sounds wrong. 'Have' puts the emphasis on the thing being asked for. 'Get' and 'got' emphasize the act of seizing, or securing: hence we say: "Get yourself a drink" or "Get a grip": it's more like a single action. When you ask "What are you getting for Christmas?" , it seems to emphasize that exciting moment of gain. Have sounds more continuous: we don't usually ask a kid: " What are you having for Christmas?" " What extra toys will you havevtomplay with on Boxing Day?" perhaps. Maybe " I would like to have a latte, please" would solve the difficulty because it would allow ' have' to fall into its more continuous state.

"I'm choosing cheddar the scone, please" would be an elegant phrasing.

You're confusing different meanings of get and different meanings of have. "What are you having for Christmas?" Exactly the same as "What are you getting for Christmas?" In both sentences the meaning = receive from others. "Have" wouldn't be as usual a choice of verb though.
Bloodypunkrockers · 07/09/2021 23:17

@Fluffypastelslippers

Also in Scotland and say this is common.

The other day though, In Costa sorry Starbucks the 2 women in front of me...

'His ladies, what can I get you today'

'Oh, em no share, what are you wan-in Ann'

'Dinnae ken, whit aboot a la-aye'

'Eh, that'll dae, ell get ein tae'

'Yeah, we are wan-in twa med-yum la-ayes'

And if you didn't get it all - instead of can I get or can I have it was we want Grin

Dundee ?
Diverseopinions · 07/09/2021 23:17

It's interesting, the different usage. You wouldn't say "Would you have me another knife please?". You'd say " Would you get me another knife...?."., or, if you were truly elegant and thoughtful in your speech: " Could you please bring me another knife?".

NotAnotherPylon · 07/09/2021 23:20

I honestly couldn't give a stuff how people express themselves. I KNOW what they mean. You should come to NI. Your head would spin off into orbit at some of the crimes committed against the English language. I'm guilty of most of them!