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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think?

44 replies

Henrietta75 · 07/09/2021 15:52

Started a new job at a relatively new company. I’m an experienced 20 years in this field I work in and have worked in retail, manufacturing, leisure industries doing the same thing. I’ve met a wide variety of people from different backgrounds and I’m the last to judge anyone.
Not long ago one of the companies that provide us with a service, the pair of owner / managers asked to come up and meet me and discuss ways they could help us moving forward.
We have a smart casual vibe in this office but I am dressed smartly as I can without overdoing it.
So ding dong they arrive and I go to fetch them from reception. First time in my life I was speechless at the sight of them:
Two gentlemen aged approx late 40’s both with receding hairlines with rucksacks wearing black shorts, dirty trainers and white vests / white T-shirt’s. I shook their hands and both were nice people over the course of the morning and I looked past their attire until it was time to leave.
Never in a million years would I go to an important client meeting in another city to represent my company dressed like they did.
Am I out of touch with modern day working or they made a mistake?

OP posts:
BrilliantBetty · 07/09/2021 16:05

Black shorts, white Tshirt, rucksack sounds ok. Dirty shoes, probably a bit lazy!

But I wouldn't mind to be honest. This sounds like casual dressing and must be what they do in their company, as long as they are providing a good service that works for you it shouldn't matter.

PinkFootstool · 07/09/2021 16:14

It depends - what trade are you and they in?

If they are financial investors, I would expect suits. If they are grounds workers with no staff and working on the tools, I'd expect they popped in between jobs and didn't clean up. If they are the MDs of a multinational groundwork corporation, I'd expect them to be smarter

Sneesher · 07/09/2021 16:15

I think it depends on the industry. I work with a lot of software/IT/data analyst types.

They wear slippers/trackies/dungarees at work.

Unless its a customer facing type role I wouldn't care what they were wearing. Times have changed.

I wear dungarees and Birkenstock's to work.

Geamhradh · 07/09/2021 16:17

How should they have changed the receding hairline?

the80sweregreat · 07/09/2021 16:19

@Geamhradh

How should they have changed the receding hairline?
Hair transplant, obviously!
takealettermsjones · 07/09/2021 16:40

Well, they're owners of their company. They can decide on their own culture/dress code. They're probably aware they could lose business because of it, but they've decided to do it anyway.

Personally I think it's high time we started judging people in the workplace on their work, rather than what they wear! I refuse to totter around the office in pencil skirts and high heels that I would never wear at home. I feel sorry for the men who have to wear collars and ties in the height of summer.

Hopdathelf · 07/09/2021 16:43

Very unpleasant of you to focus on their hairlines. You lost me at that point.

Merryoldgoat · 07/09/2021 16:43

It depends on the industry I suppose but as a rule if people look clean then I’m not really fussed.

Sn0tnose · 07/09/2021 17:00

I’m another one slightly confused as to wtf their hairlines have to do with anything.

sst1234 · 07/09/2021 17:11

Yes you are being unreasonable. We are becoming more American nowadays with more focus on output than appearance.

WellLarDeDar · 07/09/2021 17:14

Why are you mad about their hairlines?! That's really out of order to whinge about that!

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 07/09/2021 17:16

Receding hairline a are unprofessional?

girlmom21 · 07/09/2021 17:23

It depends on the client really. I used to work for a marketing agency and could attend meetings for one client in ripped jeans and trainers but would need to wear formal office attire for others.

Funnylittlefloozie · 07/09/2021 17:23

I'm assuming they weren't bricklayers or something. I'm old enough and conservative enough to think that when you are meeting clients, you make an effort and look smart.

The receding hairline thing is probably because they looked like older men who might be expected to "get" looking tidy for clients.

nancybotwinbloom · 07/09/2021 17:25

@Sneesher

I think it depends on the industry. I work with a lot of software/IT/data analyst types.

They wear slippers/trackies/dungarees at work.

Unless its a customer facing type role I wouldn't care what they were wearing. Times have changed.

I wear dungarees and Birkenstock's to work.

It does depend.

I work with all kinds of levels. Engineers, contractors, Md's.

All over teams at the min.

The vibe is t shirts currently not even collared ones and I bet with trackie bottoms or shorts on the bottom.

I'm in dresses and trainers for meetings at the min. When I do get out. Occasionally dresses and steel toe caps.

Covid has changed everything I think. I like it though.

Original poster
Henrietta75 · 07/09/2021 18:38

Don’t lose yourself on the receding hairlines that was just to illustrate their approx age and visualise the scene. If they’d had hair past their shoulders or completely bald I wouldn’t have blinked.

They work in IT - does it matter?!!

I feel we are in a professional environment and meeting new clients for the first time - if you can’t be bothered to make an effort what are we expected to think?
This isn’t a zoom call where you are at home and could be sitting in jammies. Goodness me!

I think some standards have dropped and there seems to be an acceptance of it all.

OP posts:
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 07/09/2021 18:54

Do they do a good job?

I think the last couple of years have been tough on us all and people have let things slip. I wouldn't get hung up on the way they dress if the service they provide meets your needs.

gwenneh · 07/09/2021 18:57

I think some standards have dropped and there seems to be an acceptance of it all.

Yes, because there's a focus on results. Which is as it should be.

Westerman · 07/09/2021 19:02

I'm with you, OP. I think turning up to work in an office, workplace or other professional or customer facing setting, in scruffy, overly casual, revealing or inappropriate attire is disrespectful. Saying to the other person they're not worth making an effort for. I see, from some of the replies, this is considered old fashioned nowadays.

thepeopleversuswork · 07/09/2021 19:03

If you own the business you make the rules.

Generally tech-driven businesses and younger ones are much more relaxed about this sort of thing. If that's the culture they come from and particularly as they don't have to dress in a certain way for business reasons it probably wouldn't have crossed their minds to have put on a suit.

A lot of the old dress codes are going away, thankfully. Even in the City, where I work (remotely), a lot of that has gone out of the window since COVID. In my experience companies with insistence on 'office attire at all times' are parochial and a bit backward-looking. Not to mention a bit daft in this day and age.

EverybodyIsInteresting · 07/09/2021 19:17

I’m the last to judge anyone

I'm not convinced by this, tbh.

moynomore · 07/09/2021 19:21

I would absolutely judge that. Come on, this was a client meeting in a professional environment. We all know how to dress for that, even if you have never been to a client meeting in a professional environment.

moynomore · 07/09/2021 19:22

In my experience companies with insistence on 'office attire at all times' are parochial and a bit backward-looking. Not to mention a bit daft in this day and age.

But there is a wide gap between "business attire at all times" and vests and dirty trainers.

Careermummy · 07/09/2021 19:25

I work In software and it's pretty laid back, I turned up in short and trousers on mu 1st day and was told I don't need to dress like that.

healmebaby · 07/09/2021 19:29

I’ve met a wide variety of people from different backgrounds and I’m the last to judge anyone

HA!