To think I’m causing a problem by co-sleeping??

[cammy1188]

Feeling oh so confused!

FTP, 8month old baby, breast fed (won’t take a bottle)

He is a very active baby who naps for max 2 hours a day and normally only if we are out in the car/buggy (though he does have a morning nap at home in his next to me crib)

Feeds to sleep which I don’t mind at all but he has never learned to self settle so needs boob for naps unless we are on the move.

He’s never been a great sleeper. Wakes hourly after bedtime at 7pm until I go up about 10pm. Then we co sleep and he sleeps pretty soundly til around 3am but does help himself to boob for a moment or two every now and then throughout the night. He likes to snuggle up close and I generally feel he really needs me next to him to sleep well at the moment. He feeds at 3am then normally again about 5am then up for the day at 7/8ish.

My DH is in the spare room (on a very uncomfortable bed bless him) but is totally supportive of our arrangement as I get more sleep and he likes that baby and I are together (we both feel DS is still too small for own room really which I know is not the majority opinion!)

So my question is…. Am I creating a situation where DS is going to get separation anxiety when we do eventually move him (hopefully by the time he is 1?)

I feel pressure from family to move him now to be fair to him so that he can learn to sleep alone. I don’t want to and I’m quite happy but I don’t want to cause my DS to have separation anxiety or do anything that might hinder his sleep or development!

Any advice welcome ❤️

My little girl co slept for the same reasons. She fed to sleep and she also woke once in the night for a feed. Every night. And I was NOT getting up out of bed to do that so I kept her in with me. Had the same worries as you but actually, around 15 months she went into a cot in her room at night, stopped waking for feeds from that night on and she sleeps a solid 13 hours a night with no fuss, no waking etc. Bedtime was never a battle because she was having her needs met so I sometimes think that’s what helped.

It depends.

Are you going to suddenly decide at 12, 14, 17m etc that your child should magically be ready to sleep alone?

Or are you prepared that left to their own choices, it's more typical for a co-sleeping baby/toddler to want to sleep with a parent until more like 3 or 4, sometimes a little older?

If it's the latter, no probs

If it's the former, and you find you suddenly don't like the squirming 15m old helping themself to boob every hour all night, you might find it hard to move a child at that age who's used to this mode of sleeping.