Partner wants to move..

[lockdownbabyx]

So when I met my partner, he lived a 30 minute drive from me. He was new to the area having only just moved there himself, his family/friends are all a 2 hour drive away. As I still lived with my parents at the time, I always went to stay with him. Anyway, things got more serious and I ended up moving In him with him. Everything is perfect, we get on Great and are very much in love and are due to have a baby in a few weeks. Now the issue is, when baby is here I have said I'd like to move house and back nearer my family as it will make things a lot easier for me. With regards to help, being round family/friends who also have kids and also would save me a 30 minute drive (with a baby) to go see them while DP is at work. When I first said this he was all for it, he's now changed his tune. Saying he doesn't want to move even further away from his family as he's already quite far. Now I totally understand this, IF he saw them all the time. But he doesn't, he drives there maybe twice a month. I said I don't see the big deal with adding 30 minutes to a journey a couple of times a month? Whereas for me, a FTM with a new baby, I don't really fancy having to drive for 30 mins anytime I want to see friends. I don't want to be stuck here day in day out with no one close by. Also, when I eventually go back to work, the people that I will rely on for child care are going to be a 30 minute drive away from me, which isn't ideal. AIBU? Please tell me if I am, with my raging hormones Im finding it hard to tell 😁

@timeisnotaline

It makes a difference to you as you are travelling that distance once per day not twice.

@timeisnotaline yes I'm aware.. however I'm not just thinking of myself here. He would also have to travel 30 minutes out of his way to do drop offs/pick ups. My point is it would be a lot easier and less hassle for both of us if we lived closer to those we will be relying on for childcare. Although that in itsself is not the the only reason, there are many factors. Anyway, we have decided to see how we both feel once baby is here.

@Chamomileteaplease

"I too don't see the problem with him adding 30 minutes to his drive "home" twice a month. But surely he needs to stop doing that and make a life where he is now - preferably in your home town as you are already set up there"

Why should he stop going to visit his family and parents to make a life where he is? this sounds bonkers! Imagine if he said to OP, stop driving 30 minutes to see your family and make a life where we are now...

OP sounds like she's taking lots of suggestions on board and mainly thinking about childcare / future work travel, I'm sure you'll find somewhere you both like OP - also the house you can afford / find might swing it either way if you fall in love with one

@santaslittlehohoho of course I don't think it's wrong to visit your family but every fortnight seems quite full on if you have moved away.

And what on earth is wrong with making a life where you live?! Isn't that a quite normal and sensible thing to do?