AIBU to not want MIL to move in when baby is born?

[Goodbee2052]

DH has told me he’d really love for his mum to move in after our baby is born, in December, to help me out. We’ve only spoken over video call and never met plus we don’t share a common language. I don’t think she’s very good with children either as I’ve seen her on video call holding a newborn baby once and she didn’t hold his head, she left his head swinging as she passed him to his mother.

I'd tell him that if he ever has a medical procedure that causes him to leak various fluids from various places, causes insomnia and potential temporary incontinence and depression then you'll invite a near stranger to witness him crying and pissing himself and see what he thinks. You need practical and emotional support

Sounds cultural... but you're bot being unreasonable to say no.

Any reason why you've never met in person before?

Fuck no

He said it was to help you. So you can tell him it won't be a help. It will be detrimental to you mentally, emotionally and physically ( if you want to breastfeed, you couldn't sit on the sofa with your boobs out, if you need to sleep during the day/get up at night you might be restricted). So although you know his heart is in the right place this will 100% not work for you. Thank you for the thought. End of conversation

Not a chance. Just tell him no and let that be the end of it.

And are unlikely to get that from someone who is unfamiliar with you and your house and your way of doing things etc

Ha.

He intends to do fuck all and thinks baby care is women's work.

Tell him to do one.

It's not clear what the situation is here. Obviously YANBU.

Have you said No but DH is upset/angry? If so tell him if MIL arrives, you and the baby will leave.

If you haven't told DH no, then start with that!

Absolutely not.

Tell him no, it won't help you to have a stranger you can't communicate with in your home just after you've given birth.

These always make me laugh...

Am I bu not to want Mil to move in.. Even those who adore their mils wouldn't want this and unless you've been battered by surgery etc you won't need it!

No, no, no, no, no! Absolutely don’t do this.

I cannot stress enough how unreasonable your husband is. How the hell has it got to the point of marrying and having a baby with someone who thinks this is something you would want or is in any way appropriate? It just takes one word. No explanations or long-winded discussions, just a very simple, "No". I am just baffled that any man would think this is a good idea.

@WaterBottle123

Ha.

He intends to do fuck all and thinks baby care is women's work.

Tell him to do one.

This! And he thinks you will be his pre-pregnancy wife again who will be able to focus on him as mum is dealing with the baby. I’m sure it will suit him very well!

Does he really want her there to help you or is he just hoping to spend a few weeks doing nothing while you and his Mam look after everything?

My PILs did come to stay but I was happy about it. MIL took over cooking, did bits of housework and washing. FIL walked the dog and did the garden. DH had to go back to work (no pat leave). I looked after myself and baby. It was lovely. They were much loved GPs and now much missed.