Page 3 | To hate being a mum right now?

kitkatsky · 05/09/2021 11:43

Hi OP, fellow mum of an EBF 7.5 month old here, though we don't cosleep as I couldn't stand it when she was tiny and luckily now neither can she. She sleeps with her arms out like a starfish!

Stupid question perhaps but has your period come back yet? Mine came back last month and in the run up the exhaustion finally caught up with me. I literally fell asleep on the sofa one night with baby screaming next to me and I didn't wake (my partner was there, don't worry!) It's also normal for you to feel the ick with breastfeeding when you're bleeding and for the taste of your milk to change so baby becomes extra fussy!

There's nothing wrong with stopping breastfeeding if you're hating it but do best in mind it might not make life easier- she may still want to cosleep but you'll have to get up to make bottles etc so be more disturbed overall. She might sleep better or longer with formula or she might not- it's hard to tell.

Thinking a bit more practically, I'd try to put her in her own cot now so you have a bit of space for a rest. If baby will take a bottle try to have a night off or even an early night while your partner keeps baby downstairs until after the first feed so you can get 6 hours. Weaning will help loads too over the next few months. Try to remember it won't be this hard forever and not to quit feeding on a bad day when you're understandably not feeling in the right headspace to make a huge decision, but like most others have said if you are really miserable do what you need to do ❤️

kitkatsky · 05/09/2021 11:45

Also forgot to say, if you want to continue get a breastfeeding necklace off eBay- baby will twiddle with that instead of your other boob x

loveacupoftea18 · 05/09/2021 15:49

Thank you @RiversideAnne I'll give it a try. Much appreciated!

Puppysharness · 05/09/2021 18:38

@DoesHePlayTheFiddle

My EBF 7.5 month old hasnt slept more than 3 hours in a stretch Perfectly normal. Well done that baby.

She woke at 5.30am this morning and didn't go dow for bed until 9pm
Stop thinking of her as an encumbrance. You know your left leg? Was it with you all your waking hours? Think of your baby as part of you. She isn't independent yet, won't be for years.

She is currently pinching and scratching me while she nurses
Babies play with the other breast/nipple while they feed. It's normal, expected, and whilst sometimes mildly irritating, it's what she should be doing. Well done that baby! My dd was fed till age four. She called it 'Making a baba' and it's purpose was to get the milk ready to flow.

I hate HATE HATE HATE cosleeping because all my baby does is comfort suckle my nipple
Oh my, you've been fed some shite! 'Comfort suckle'?
So. A breastfed baby needs access to the breast 24/7. For this reason, it helps to think of breastfeeding as akin to breathing, rather than a way of getting a meal. All that time your baby is at the breast, she's doing the right thing, doing something which is good for her and for you. Her suckling determines your milk production. Chemicals from her saliva pass into your body (sounds woo to me but that's what they say nowadays, there'll be information online). It's a good thing. She's a good baby. You just weren't given the proper information so that you could have appropriate expectations. Trust your baby. She knows.

If I take it out or give her a dummy she just cries and cries.
Well, that's fair. She knows the difference. She has to survive and a dummy won't cut it. She isn't sufficiently developed yet to think 'Oh my God, my mama's exhausted and needs a break, I'll take myself off somewhere and give her some peace.' She's a tiny animal doing what her instinct tells her. She's fucking ace, she knows all about survival rules.

The thought literally makes me want to scream. I know she's only a baby but honestly I just hate being a mum right now.
Yep. I think we've all been there.

I have loads of support and you know what? I still fucking hate it.
'The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves.' You need a reboot, a change of mindset. You're doing all the right things, just not feeling happy about them. Try a long bath and a day in bed with your baby.

Did…. Breastmilk write this?

I am currently pregnant and this honestly made my skin crawl. Making a baba, good lord.

thatsnotmyzoo · 05/09/2021 18:49

@DoesHePlayTheFiddle

My EBF 7.5 month old hasnt slept more than 3 hours in a stretch Perfectly normal. Well done that baby.

She woke at 5.30am this morning and didn't go dow for bed until 9pm
Stop thinking of her as an encumbrance. You know your left leg? Was it with you all your waking hours? Think of your baby as part of you. She isn't independent yet, won't be for years.

She is currently pinching and scratching me while she nurses
Babies play with the other breast/nipple while they feed. It's normal, expected, and whilst sometimes mildly irritating, it's what she should be doing. Well done that baby! My dd was fed till age four. She called it 'Making a baba' and it's purpose was to get the milk ready to flow.

I hate HATE HATE HATE cosleeping because all my baby does is comfort suckle my nipple
Oh my, you've been fed some shite! 'Comfort suckle'?
So. A breastfed baby needs access to the breast 24/7. For this reason, it helps to think of breastfeeding as akin to breathing, rather than a way of getting a meal. All that time your baby is at the breast, she's doing the right thing, doing something which is good for her and for you. Her suckling determines your milk production. Chemicals from her saliva pass into your body (sounds woo to me but that's what they say nowadays, there'll be information online). It's a good thing. She's a good baby. You just weren't given the proper information so that you could have appropriate expectations. Trust your baby. She knows.

If I take it out or give her a dummy she just cries and cries.
Well, that's fair. She knows the difference. She has to survive and a dummy won't cut it. She isn't sufficiently developed yet to think 'Oh my God, my mama's exhausted and needs a break, I'll take myself off somewhere and give her some peace.' She's a tiny animal doing what her instinct tells her. She's fucking ace, she knows all about survival rules.

The thought literally makes me want to scream. I know she's only a baby but honestly I just hate being a mum right now.
Yep. I think we've all been there.

I have loads of support and you know what? I still fucking hate it.
'The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves.' You need a reboot, a change of mindset. You're doing all the right things, just not feeling happy about them. Try a long bath and a day in bed with your baby.

Don’t forget OP, you aren’t an actual person any more and your wants, needs and mental health don’t actually matter either.

Fuck me. OP good luck and solidarity. Reclaim your body and bed is that’s what feels right. No point making yourself miserable so you get a internet gold star from sanctimonious twats.