Am I doing the right thing by avoiding her? This is hurting

[Helpppmeeee]

I wrote this thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4335935-Can-she-take-my-baby?msgid=110368150

Long story short, mum bought baby first shoes without asking me or telling me, went to take him to get fitted on their ‘day out’ and posted photos all over Facebook. When I said it hurt said I was a bad mum and became threatening and told me ‘let the games begin’ when I said we would be reducing contact for a while. Became very verbally aggressive and threatening, so I cut contact.

Have since had no apology, but two texts asking to see my son. I am either ignoring or saying no. Nursery is aware of situation so she cannot collect him, and have told health visitor about threatening messages.

But I feel awfully guilty and like I’m being a monster by not allowing her to see my DS.

She’s acting like nothing happened

Thoughts?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4338157-Has-anyone-s-mum-ever-actually-stolen-their-baby

"Let the games begin"?

What does that even mean?

That she's just doing it for shits & giggles to upset you?

Do block contact - she's likely at some point to crack and start with the threats and nonsense but stay strong. How she treated you and made you feel is not acceptable.

OP, you are absolutely doing the right thing. This woman is emotionally dangerous to you and your child…a malignancy in your lives.

Please stick with your strong No Contact boundary!

You're not being a monster - you're protecting your child and that is exactly what a Mum is supposed to do.

I feel so sad for you OP, having been in exactly your situation. It's incredibly hard to stand up to your mum, but you absolutely must do it.
Everything you need to know about her approach is the use of the word game.
It's not a game, it's your life & you son's life.
Let her play games if she wants to. She has no authority whatsoever to take your child against your will.
You have legal parental responsibility. She does not. No social services or court in the land will remove your baby or sanction him being placed with your mum unless you are causing him significant harm.
You need to get angry, white-hot angry & tell her to stay the fuck away or else.
I am no contact with my mum after she tried this with me. My family is not a pick & mix. She doesn't get to mistreat me whilst playing Disney granny with my child.
As soon as he is old enough, she'll start manipulating him.
You are doing your son no favours keeping her in his life.
Be really brave OP, although I know it's so hard.

If you haven't already, make absolutely sure that your mother cannot see your DS at the nursery or pick him up!

She wants you to feel like a monster. She wants you to doubt yourself because she is trying to emotionally manipulate you.

Don't give in to it. Just keep telling yourself "My job is to keep my baby safe from threatening and abusive people".

You are entitled to protect your baby. She has no entitlement to see your baby. End of.

No you are not being unreasonable. I remember your thread- it made my blood run cold. She was trying to intimidate and scare you deliberately. She hasn’t even apologised! It sounds as though you’ve been conditioned to back down but you’ve got to stick to this for your son’s sake.

You are doing exactly the right thing. I'm going to be brutal here, but it needs to be said: your mother is dangerous, do not let her anywhere near you or your child. Move house, tell all the people in your life, get a restraing order, whatever it takes. But remember this, you are in charge now. Not her. This is your life and your child. Quite frankly, fuck her and her warped, selfish, narcissistic, fucked up way of treating people. Protect yourself, always, you can never rely on her to be decent.

Please stay strong. You are absolutely doing the right thing and are not in any way behaving like a monster. You're being a good mother and protecting your child.

Getting messages is stressing you........ so, you take action.

You can

Block her completely

Tell her you are only going to view her messages once a week (or month) on whatever day. If they are unkind she will be blocked.

How are you feeling today OP?

I hope after reading the link above you don’t allow your mum to have unsupervised access to ds. I’d still go NC and not look back.

She wanted the games to begin. Well, the games are beginning.