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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

..to push a little further for DS4

58 replies

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 18:59

AIBU to be a tad concerned about DS4?
I have an aversion to seeking medical advice following some trauma of my own related to HCPs. This makes it very hard for me to see the wood for the trees sometimes and more so, for me to be assertive.

DS4 is 17mo and has always been smaller than the others following between the 9th and 25th centile for weight. He hasn't been weighed since he turned one so I'm not sure when that began tailing off, however recently we've noticed he is visibly skinny. Ribs, spine and shoulder blades can be seen to varied degree and his limbs have very little fat (no rolls or wrinkles at all).

He is breastfed and I admit freely he will absolutely always chose milk over food but I am by and large very strict in ensuring he has always eaten something before I let him Nurse. He however is nursing 5 or 6 times a night and asking all day long, his food intake is all over the place - a good day being a banana and porridge for breakfast, toast and fruit for snack, good sized cooked lunch (cottage pie, lasagne) crisp puff things for snack and a good portion of whatever we have for tea and then supper. Bad days he will pick at his food, throw most of it on the floor and refuse to engage in it at all.

He has thrush on his tongue almost all the time, I treat it, it goes, within days it's back.

Do I need to be firmer with the HV who is only really interested in referring him for his squint/turning eye.

OP posts:

DillyDilly · 04/09/2021 19:05

How many days of the week are ‘good’ days and how many are ‘bad’? It could well be that he’s simply not getting enough nutrition as his diet needs more than breast milk at his age.

When was the last time the HV actually saw him ? It does definitely sound like you absolutely need to make an appointment with a GP if he is extremely thin.

Original poster

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 19:12

There are absolutely more good ones than bad, some days I can't keep up with his food intake and he will occasionally be really irritable with apparent hunger.. I'm just non plusses because all my others were very established with food by now and nursing was for sleeping and comfort.

OP posts:

Original poster

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 19:13

This is him from the back

OP posts:

Original poster

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 19:13

Why won't the pic attach..

OP posts:

Porcupineintherough · 04/09/2021 19:14

Forget the health visitor in this instance and speak to a gp if you are concerned. It might be an idea to start weighing him again so you know what is going on. His eating habits sound normal except for the large amount of nursing through the night.

Porcupineintherough · 04/09/2021 19:15

Just seen the picture. Based on that he looks fine tbh but obv you would need to weigh and measure him to be sure he was of a healthy weight.

LanaDelBoy · 04/09/2021 19:17

Can you get some simple electronic scales and weigh him yourself? Or weigh yourself holding him then subtract the weight of you on your own... he doesn't look worryingly thin to me but good to know his weight if you're worried.
Food sounds normal to me.

Original poster

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 19:17

On his birthday

OP posts:

ditalini · 04/09/2021 19:17

He looks absolutely fine to me in that picture op, but there is never any harm in following up with a health professional if you feel he is not ok.

FlamesEmbersAshes · 04/09/2021 19:18

I really don’t think he is visibly skinny at all OP. - I was expecting him to look painfully thin and he really, really isn’t. He looks fine to me. But if you think there’s a problem, get the HV to weigh him in the first instance.

Original poster

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 19:19

Oh gosh you've all really eased my worries, my mum made a huge fuss about how skinny he is and got me so worried.

Do you think the thrush is a red herring then?

I'll get some scales tomorrow.

OP posts:

Original poster

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 19:21

@FlamesEmbersAshes

I think a combination of much larger toddlers with my older 3 and the reaction my mum had when she saw him recently when a full clothing change was needed after lunch just had me worried.

OP posts:

LanaDelBoy · 04/09/2021 19:22

Are you passing the thrush between your nipple and his mouth? That's fairly common. You might need to use some Canesten or something too if you're not already.

Smartiepants79 · 04/09/2021 19:23

He’s looks fine to me and and I’d think his food intake is reasonable.
Is does sound like a lot more milk than either of my two had at that age. Still having to nurse that much would drive me utterly nuts but that’s your call!

89redballoons · 04/09/2021 19:23

Can you take him to something like a health visitor drop-in to have him weighed and measured? I'm sure it's different in every area but around here they have these weekly at children's centres, you have to book an appointment because of covid but there are loads.

That said, he looks quite normal to me from that picture and it sounds like he normally eats a lot of solids as well as all the nursing. Could the breastfeeding be more for comfort than nutrition? (Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with breastfeeding for comfort if you're OK with it).

My DS's shoulder blades and the bottom of his ribs are also visible, but he has a little pot belly too. He is between the 2nd and 9th centiles for height and around the 25th for weight, so he's actually on the chubby side although he is short. It is really hard to be objective about your own children's weight without actually measuring them, I find.

OrangeTortoise · 04/09/2021 19:25

He looks fine to me OP. Here's a photo of my DS at a similar age. He's always been on the skinny side too, but is very active and healthy.

Ohpulltheotherone · 04/09/2021 19:26

@LanaDelBoy

Are you passing the thrush between your nipple and his mouth? That's fairly common. You might need to use some Canesten or something too if you're not already.

This was my initial thought too. It would make sense and I’m sure I’ve heard of this before.

I would investigate this route as a possible cause OP if you haven’t already.

His eating habits sound quite normal to be honest, my toddler will have days of scoffing eveything and the next doesn’t want anything other than veggie sticks and a yoghurt.

Weigh him yourself as a starting point

VestaTilley · 04/09/2021 19:26

Never mind the health visitor, get him to the GP. Weight loss, not eating much and constant thrush isn’t a good place to be. Please make a GP appointment.

Tempusfudgeit · 04/09/2021 19:27

Looks absolutely fine to me weight-wise! Don't let your mother's opinion sway your instincts. My co-sleeping 2 year old still wants to nurse frequently, don't forget it's about closeness and comfort as much as nutrition at this age. You're doing fine 🙂

bandbsmummy · 04/09/2021 19:28

Are you sure it's thrush and not just milk covering his tongue? My DS has this constantly and it's definitely not thrush, just milk.

Xmassprout · 04/09/2021 19:29

Have you treated your nipples for thrush? If you don't, then evrytume his clears up, he will catch it from you again.

He doesn't look that skinny. My youngest sounds similar to your son. Small for age, sometimes doesn't eat a lot but will have lots of boob. Have no concerns about her. She still has teeth coming through so it's not surprising she still want lots of boob.

Original poster

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 19:32

I should have said (sorry for the accidental drip feed) he gave it to me once and it was agony. No mistaking it. I had it treated and now when he has it I clean my breast before and after with a clean cloth and I treat myself with canestan.

It is a relief to hear and see (the damndest cute pictures) of other slender babies. I will weigh him and see where he's at on his chart as my mum did make the valid point that he wasn't always skinny.

I'll take the general concensus that if he's fallen from his line I'll go to the GP rather than HV.

OP posts:

Original poster

loopyapp · 04/09/2021 19:33

@bandbsmummy

Are you sure it's thrush and not just milk covering his tongue? My DS has this constantly and it's definitely not thrush, just milk.

Definitely thrush, it is yellow/white fluff that won't scrape off.

OP posts:

VanGoSunflowers · 04/09/2021 19:35

Just adding to the posters saying he looks normal. My DS always tracked on the 9th centile when he was a baby. Also breastfed.
He is still small for his age but very healthy and active. I wouldn’t be too worried but do get him weighed.
Also, I had nipple thrush (it ended the feeding actually when he was about 19mo) don’t use canesten - you can get something called Daktacort (I think) over the counter for nipple thrush. Speak to a pharmacist.

whatisheupto · 04/09/2021 19:39

OP He looks fine to me as well! I wouldn't even say he looks at all skinny! Sounds like he eats very well on his good days and I agree with PPs that it's very normal for them to have off days.
As for the thrush I'd definitely go to the GP.

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