To think this age gap is too big?

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I am 29, I have been with my partner for 6 months who is 54. Our relationship is the most loving and healthiest and 'normal' I've ever been in. I have one daughter who is 8 and don't want anymore so that is not a problem. However, I'm sick of being met with shock horror and lots of intrusive questions when I tell people how old my partner is.

I'm also starting to think of the future, he's very active at the moment as am I but I'm thinking in 20 years time (all going well) that won't be the case. I love him and am so very happy but I'm not sure if it's too big a gap and I should use my head rather than heart.

AIBU to think about calling it quits over the future?

I was in a relationship with a smaller age gap (10 years) and it was one of the reasons I ended it. I'd gone into it in my late teens, he was late 20s, we were both in very different stages of life and I definitely wasn't ready for buying a house/ settling down. I wanted to travel, he didn't. etc. He was really genuinely lovely otherwise and if we'd met later in life, maybe things would have gone differently.

I'd be inclined to think about his retirement plans (is it soon? 10 years? He will have a lot of time on his hands and you presumably won't?) and what life might look like for you both in 10/20 years time. If you are comfortable with that vision, then sure, go for it.

You are of course allowed to just enjoy this relationship for now and consider your future plans at a later date. But YANBU for considering that it's quite a big age gap; it is.

25 years is a fairly ghastly age gap IMO. Aged say 45-65 you'll be in your late prime, during a period when the OH will progress from being an old codger to quite probably six feet under.

None of us have a crystal ball. If I've come away with anything these past 18 months it's the reminder to live in the moment and enjoy the things that make you happy. If this man is it then go with it but don't make too many promises for the future.

The fact that you are asking yourself this question,is the answer:he is too old for you.

Has he a history of dating much younger women?
54 isn't in 10 years the difference will be obvious.
Do you want more DC?
Listen to your gut.

My daughter is 29 and I must admit I'd be upset if she had a relationship with a 54 year old man - although if she really loved him I wouldn't say anything against it.

There's 25 years difference between me and DH. We've been together for 15 years and he's approaching his mid 70s now. I'm realistic enough to know he's very likely to die well before me but I wouldn't change the life I've had. When you meet the right person, you just know...

I’m ten years older than you and wouldn’t have a relationship with a 54 year old let alone a 64 year old. You’re just at different stages of your lives and that will become increasingly apparent as he moves towards retirement age and you are still in your prime.

You say it is a healthy relationship but personally I would question how healthy it is for a man of that age to be with a woman in her twenties. Often there is a weird power imbalance or parent/child dynamic going on that can be difficult to see from inside a relationship.

14 year age difference. From 20 to 34 we're at 39 to 53. I think an extra 10 years on him we'd not have lasted. His been there and done that attitude was always our issue. Other than that you like him and you're enjoying life. I read enough on mn and see enough in real ife to know smaller age gaps aren't the only way!