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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want a cleaner?

46 replies

LastToBePicked · 04/09/2021 15:17

We don’t have a cleaner at the moment and DH and I can’t agree on whether we should pay for one or not.

DH thinks it is a unnecessary expense and we should be able to keep up with the cleaning ourselves.

I think it is a good use of money to live in a cleaner house and save ourselves precious time.

For context, DH works full time, I work equivalent of 4 days per week around school hours.

DH is on a 6 figure salary, me rather less. We’re paying down a £200k mortgage and pay £500 a month in childcare.

We have 2 early primary aged children.

DH hasn’t fully recovered from having covid last year and I am perimenopausal.

DH is a neat-freak and complains endlessly about mess in the house. He does most of the housework (I do more of the childcare and all the cooking). He’s not great at keeping up with dusting, hoovering etc though and neither am I. We always have to do a frantic clean before we have visitors.

So do we need a cleaner or not?

OP posts:

Notashandyta · 04/09/2021 15:19

Yes, get one!

You have a good income but not much time or energy left over.

Just do it!

Sciurus83 · 04/09/2021 15:23

Why wouldn't you if DH is on 6 figures, you can afford it and cleaning is rubbish

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 04/09/2021 15:23

Do it. It’s amazing

Weekends aren’t for housework

MoonbeamSprinkles · 04/09/2021 15:24

Get one.

You don’t even need to justify it.

Me and my husband have no kids and stress free jobs.
We have a cleaner because we want one the end.

You don’t have to wait until you can’t cope to get help.

RiversideAnne · 04/09/2021 15:24

Life is way too short to be stressed about cleaning when you can afford not to be. Do it! It’s so worth it.

moofolk · 04/09/2021 15:30

Do it.

If DH thinks he should be able to keep on top of it, let him try.

Then get a cleaner.

Ellarain · 04/09/2021 15:38

If you can afford then yes definately. It will make your home life so much easier.

SpicyJalfrezi · 04/09/2021 15:40

Just will point out that mess and dirt is different (obviously.)

You will have to tidy, the cleaner is unlikely to do that.

Personally I think once a house is tidy cleaning it is fairly easy, so I wouldn’t bother, but if you think it will enhance your life, why not

StarryStarrySocks · 04/09/2021 15:42

What does being perimenopausal have to do with it? I'm genuinely wondering.

Confusedandshaken · 04/09/2021 15:45

If you have the money and it will improve your quality of life it's worth it.

isitweds9thseptyet · 04/09/2021 15:45

My question would be what is yours and DH time worth?

If it is greater than the cost per hour of a cleaner then go for it and increase the amount of family/down time you have.

Surely when you get to the point of six figures these are the sort of homelife perks that you are doing it for? Ie you work hard to earn good money to make life easier and better for everyone?

MrsSiba · 04/09/2021 15:46

Do it!

I have been in touch with a cleaner and knew my husband would say the same as yours. He flipped when I told him. But he's not the one spending his Saturday mornings and free time sorting it. He's the same as yours ... Complains how messy it is but doesn't appreciate it needs to be done everyday. I could easily divorce him over it.

Winemewhynot · 04/09/2021 15:47

6 figure salary and he begrudges you a cleaner?!

I’d devise a 50/50 cleaning rota for you both and see how quick he changes his mind!

Original poster

LastToBePicked · 04/09/2021 15:49

@StarryStarrySocks

What does being perimenopausal have to do with it? I'm genuinely wondering.

It’s really knocked my energy levels. Either that or something else has.

OP posts:

Original poster

LastToBePicked · 04/09/2021 15:51

@Winemewhynot

6 figure salary and he begrudges you a cleaner?!

I’d devise a 50/50 cleaning rota for you both and see how quick he changes his mind!

He does do most of the housework already. I think his argument is that he thinks if I just stepped up a bit, we wouldn’t need a cleaner. I don’t want to step up, I am tired an resent spending my limited free time cleaning.

OP posts:

usernotfound0000 · 04/09/2021 15:51

Do it if you can afford it. We earn considerably less than you but have one, there are many things I would cut out before the cleaner went if money became tight.

Sleepinghyena · 04/09/2021 15:58

Tell him to just step up a bit with the cooking/washing/childcare/shopping- when he takes some of that off you, you will have more time for cleaning no? I suspect he will have every excuse under the sun not to though....
Seriously, a six figure salary and you work 4 days - of course you should get a cleaner if you want one!
I have a cleaning business, and I would say almost all if not all of my clients have a smaller joint income.

Outfoxedbyrabbits · 04/09/2021 16:02

Research shows that money doesn't make you happy - but using your money to buy free time, for example by getting a cleaner, does!

Our household income is lower than yours (I'm a SAHP) and we've had a cleaner for years. It's the best thing ever for reducing the mental load and giving us more family time. Also the house tends to stay tidier because it's being tidied up once a week for the cleaner minimum.

We pay £25 a week for two hours. Even if your husband doesn't think it's necessary, why is he trying to prevent his wife spending that amount a week on something that she wants?

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 04/09/2021 16:03

@StarryStarrySocks

What does being perimenopausal have to do with it? I'm genuinely wondering.

If you haven't been there yet, you wouldn't understand!

Definitely get one OP. If your husband refuses to pay for one, make him do all the cleaning.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 04/09/2021 16:06

I would get a cleaner but after a string of disappointing cleaners i would recommend you also invest in an eufy/roomba amd mop robot.
Ours have def been better value than our real cleaners!

adriennewillfly · 04/09/2021 16:18

DH earns 6 figures working fairly long hours and wants a cleaner. I work 4 days a week, but think if we both step up a little, we wouldn't need one.

He booked a one off clean after 2 years without a cleaner, and now I'm sold on the idea.

Quitelikeacatslife · 04/09/2021 16:22

Get one, I love having one, I don't mind cleaning but it needs doing so often! Have to tidy first , every other week is good compromise, at least I know everywhere is hoovered and bathrooms done that often. Still have to do bits.
Tell him frees him up to do other maintenance jobs or gardening if he feels guilty .
It's also giving someone a job, win win

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 04/09/2021 16:23

I am very much of the opinion that if you can afford it always have a cleaner and I say that as a SAHM. Time is the most precious thing you can buy.

DrunkUnicorn · 04/09/2021 17:01

OP I was 'your husband' for all these years. We have a small DC and earn comfortable salaries and struggled to stay on top of housework. I did more than 50% of the housework, but I am also the neat freak. I insisted for years that we must both sp Nd more time on housework and manage it ourselves.. almost as a matter of principle. We tried out a cleaner finally because I was tired of fighting this battle with my husband. After the first few weeks, I gave up and agreed that having that time to relax/ do other chores was well worth the affordable price.

Maybe you could get someone on trial for a few weeks, just so your husband can see it is worth the price, and he can use his time elsewhere? He may change his mind then?

Mrsgrotbags · 04/09/2021 17:13

*Just will point out that mess and dirt is different (obviously.)

You will have to tidy, the cleaner is unlikely to do that.

Personally I think once a house is tidy cleaning it is fairly easy, so I wouldn’t bother, but if you think it will enhance your life, why not

This is the problem I'm faced with. It's clearing up the mess to actually get to the cleaning and it's what has put me off of getting a cleaner.

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