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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want a cleaner?

46 replies

LastToBePicked · 04/09/2021 15:17

We don’t have a cleaner at the moment and DH and I can’t agree on whether we should pay for one or not.

DH thinks it is a unnecessary expense and we should be able to keep up with the cleaning ourselves.

I think it is a good use of money to live in a cleaner house and save ourselves precious time.

For context, DH works full time, I work equivalent of 4 days per week around school hours.

DH is on a 6 figure salary, me rather less. We’re paying down a £200k mortgage and pay £500 a month in childcare.

We have 2 early primary aged children.

DH hasn’t fully recovered from having covid last year and I am perimenopausal.

DH is a neat-freak and complains endlessly about mess in the house. He does most of the housework (I do more of the childcare and all the cooking). He’s not great at keeping up with dusting, hoovering etc though and neither am I. We always have to do a frantic clean before we have visitors.

So do we need a cleaner or not?

OP posts:

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 04/09/2021 18:49

If DH worked 9-3 four days a week I’d certainly not want a cleaner and would expect him to do the equivalent hours at home to level it out equally to the full time person.
Many couples have children and both work full time and manage to look after a house.

Original poster

LastToBePicked · 04/09/2021 19:13

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

If DH worked 9-3 four days a week I’d certainly not want a cleaner and would expect him to do the equivalent hours at home to level it out equally to the full time person. Many couples have children and both work full time and manage to look after a house.

I don’t work 9-3 4 days a week. I work the equivalent of 4 days (30 hours) over 5 days. At least that’s what I’m paid for, I often have to do more than that. Factor in commuting time and the children are at after school club every day. I usually leave the house with them just after 8 and we get home 5:30-6.

OP posts:

Chloemol · 04/09/2021 19:38

Yes get one. I have one and wouldn't be without them

Original poster

LastToBePicked · 04/09/2021 19:49

Many couples have children and both work full time and manage to look after a house.

And yes, I know. Many have it much harder. Many don’t have the choice. We do have the choice because DH is a high earner.

OP posts:

SneakyCucumberAction · 04/09/2021 19:51

Could you not clean the house the day the week you are not working but he is?

Original poster

LastToBePicked · 04/09/2021 19:55

@SneakyCucumberAction

Could you not clean the house the day the week you are not working but he is?

Sorry my post clearly wasn’t very clear. I work every day, just reduced hours. I’m out of the house 8-5:30 or longer as I do the school run + a commute.

OP posts:

FlumpsAreShit · 04/09/2021 19:55

Definitely you should have one! It sounds like you're living within your means with your mortgage etc (we are probably on similar household income with much bigger mortgage and higher childcare costs and have a cleaner...but consider ourselves sensible with money and aren't in any consumer debt).

You're both tired, you both work hard in different ways, even a weekly 2 hour clean would make a difference and would only cost the equivalent of a takeaway.

AssemblySquare · 04/09/2021 19:56

We have a much lower income than you and I was recently awarded a modest pay rise (bloody miracle - am a teacher!) I’m spending it all on a cleaner and I can’t wait for them to start!!!!

Shudacudawuda · 04/09/2021 19:58

If you can afford it, do it. Life is too short, and surely you'd rather spend the time as a family/with your kids, than spending it cleaning.

SneakyCucumberAction · 04/09/2021 19:58

Then I'd get a cleaner. Does he need to save the money for something?

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 04/09/2021 20:27

Ten hours a day out of the home for a six hour job seems extreme, can you not find something closer?

PeigiSu · 04/09/2021 20:41

As above the cleaner won’t necessarily sort mess and tidying. I find having the cleaner helps massively in forcing me to tidy before she comes. So the house is never more than a week of messy and not cleaned at once! We had her pre-kids as well. It’s such a treat coming home to a clean house, Missed her horribly during lockdown.

BoredZelda · 04/09/2021 20:47

Get a cleaner. Spending free time cleaning if you can afford not to seems like a waste.

Pinkfluffyunicornsandrainbows · 04/09/2021 20:59

It sounds like you can afford a cleaner so i say why not! You honestly don't even need to justify it like you have done, life's for living and cleaning takes hours and hours from your week. Hours that you'll never get back, hours that could be spent enjoying your children or relaxing, heck i would get a cleaner if i could afford it!

puffyisgood · 04/09/2021 21:01

Quite well off, both working full or nearly full time, seems totally fair enough to me.

Original poster

LastToBePicked · 04/09/2021 21:04

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Ten hours a day out of the home for a six hour job seems extreme, can you not find something closer?

About 40 mins to do school run, then a 1 hr commute. Then same in reverse. Live in London suburbs and most jobs in my field are based in central London.

Absolutely not a chance in hell I’m sacrificing my career so I can do the cleaning. Not a chance in hell.

OP posts:

bettyboodecia · 04/09/2021 21:07

Getting a cleaner is an absolute no brainer. I had one when I earned half what you guys do. In retrospect.... it was worth every penny.

Mamainthemaking · 04/09/2021 21:25

Cleaners are not as expensive as people seem to think. We have one, she’s great. I’ve never looked back. It’s just us at the moment, (baby on the way) I can’t imagine how much harder it is with children! Go for it!

rainbowrescue · 04/09/2021 21:45

Do it. It forces us to be tidier as we have to 'tidy for the cleaner' each week so things don't generally get crazy messy inbetween.

We also have a eufy robot hoover which is a game changer for in between.

And it's great thing to do, you're providing someone with an income.

StrangeToSee · 05/09/2021 11:46

Depends how much stress a cleaner would cause. Finding a good one who cleans properly (and to your DH’s standard) may be difficult.

Also will it be more tiring to have to keep tidying ready for the cleaner? Especially kids rooms/playroom.

I like to get a professional deep clean twice a year (walls, ceilings, carpet cleaning etc) but I’ve given up on a regular cleaner. DH does the heavy work like steam mopping and vacuuming as I have a health condition. I keep on top of the rest while DC are at school/nursery.

We have a 5 bed house with 4 bathrooms so regular cleaners are expensive.

FizziWater · 05/09/2021 11:59

Do you ever eat at a restaurant? Buy a takeaway? Do you pay a plumber or DIY? Just because you can cook doesn’t mean you always have to cook, it's not morally wrong to pay someone else to do it.
I don't understand why you wouldn't spend money on something which would make all your lives easier. A cleaner would make life massively easier.

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