To wonder if this is what she meant?

[RossIsTheBestFriend]

Worked with a new member of staff the other day that had been hired in my absence (I’m her manager but was only back for a KIT day - returning properly in a couple of months)

Lovely polish girl - speaks really good English. Having a chat and getting to know her she told me about her DS (age 8) and how she has absolutely no family around, it’s just the 2 of them. Later on in the conversation the issue of childcare came up and I asked who looks after her son while she’s working if he’s not at school (this was on a Saturday). She replied “sometimes he’ll maybe go to a friend or something but if not, no problem because he’s a smart boy”.

I didn’t really think anything of it at the time - we were quite busy and having broken conversation as we worked but now that I’m thinking about it - does that sound like he sometimes goes to a friend but if not then he’s left alone??

Obviously her home life is none of my business! But she was working a 9am-5.30pm shift as she does most weekends and I’d hate to think he’s home alone - especially for that length of time.

I’ll be returning from Mat Leave and she was asking if my DC will be going to nursery or family while I work 😊 so I was simply carrying on the conversation

As a manager, I wouldn't have asked, regardless of the conversation. "She started it" wouldn't wash if a complaint was raised.

@BoredZelda

I’ll be returning from Mat Leave and she was asking if my DC will be going to nursery or family while I work 😊 so I was simply carrying on the conversation

As a manager, I wouldn't have asked, regardless of the conversation. "She started it" wouldn't wash if a complaint was raised.

@BoredZelda That’s fair enough - you do whatever you’re comfortable with 😊 I’ve never had a complaint in the 10 years I’ve been doing the job so hopefully my teams all know that anything I’ve asked is coming from a place of getting to know them and their needs as employees and not any kind of discrimination 👍🏻😊

my teams all know that anything I’ve asked is coming from a place of getting to know them and their needs as employees and not any kind of discrimination 👍🏻😊

Perhaps they would feel differently if they knew you then posted on MN, making all sorts of assumptions and accusing one of them of neglecting their child.

I’m only 34 but even in my day latchkey kids were pretty common. I’d have to get myself on the bus in the mornings. My sister was 5 years older so her bus left earlier than mine. This wasn’t a huge deal since the neighbors had a daughter my age, so there was an adult either with us or watching us inside the house. Not a long walk either, just right out front. After school I was on my own too until about 6 or so. My sister had after school activities so it was just me. I usually had a couple of chores to do (scrub floors, fold laundry, etc.). I’d do my schoolwork. Watch TRL (I feel old now lol). Make myself something to eat. Probably the start of my love of cooking. Honestly I adored this time to myself. It was quiet, peaceful, and I got work done. Never got up to any shenanigans.

Here in the US, laws (if any) vary from state to state but in general the parent is usually expected to be able to assess the kid’s maturity level to determine if they can stay at home alone and, if so, for how long. It also depends on the resources they have available as well. Is a family member dropping by? Are the parents checking in? Is a neighbor (such as in my case) available? Nowadays it sounds almost insane to leave children at home alone, but I guess I have a very different perspective on it. And I can also understand that at the ages I was a latchkey kid, some of the other kids I knew my age would never have been mature enough to handle that same situation. I also think it’s a cultural thing. Being Polish, she might come from an area where this is very common.

Anyway, I digress. I’d just suggest the schedule change, and not mention the kid situation. If she’s concerned about him being home alone, then she’ll take the offer. If she doesn’t, then assume she believes her kid is mature enough and has adequate resources. 8, in my personal experience, for a mature kid isn’t entirely unreasonable to be home alone. I’ve read articles that state that between 9-12 kids are able to be alone for extended periods of time, 13-16 left alone for a day, 16+ left alone overnight.

@BoredZelda

my teams all know that anything I’ve asked is coming from a place of getting to know them and their needs as employees and not any kind of discrimination 👍🏻😊

Perhaps they would feel differently if they knew you then posted on MN, making all sorts of assumptions and accusing one of them of neglecting their child.

@BoredZelda are you just feeling argumentative? 🤣 When did I once accuse someone of neglecting their child?! 😅😅 I asked what other people would take from the comment that was made as I wasn’t sure if I’d taken it wrongly. And I have offered a member of my team an alternative working arrangement that I felt may suit her better as a single parent - which she was free to turn down if she wished. As it turns out she was delighted with the offer and had in fact been hoping to approach the business about it but had been nervous to do so as a new employee and felt she should wait!

feeling argumentative? 🤣 When did I once accuse someone of neglecting their child?!

Oh give over with the faux wide eyed "when did I" nonsense. You suspected she was leaving the child alone. Otherwise why would you offer different shifts.

@BoredZelda

feeling argumentative? 🤣 When did I once accuse someone of neglecting their child?!

Oh give over with the faux wide eyed "when did I" nonsense. You suspected she was leaving the child alone. Otherwise why would you offer different shifts.

@BoredZelda Suspecting she was leaving her child alone so that she could work is not me accusing someone of neglecting their child 🤔🤣

Suspecting she was leaving her child alone so that she could work is not me accusing someone of neglecting their child 🤔🤣

You think leaving an 8 year old alone all day isn't neglectful? Interesting you should feel it necessary to single her out to avoid weekend working if this isn't a problem. I'm also sure the other staff who have children and are able to provide childcare will be delighted to cover those shifts instead.

@BoredZelda

Suspecting she was leaving her child alone so that she could work is not me accusing someone of neglecting their child 🤔🤣

You think leaving an 8 year old alone all day isn't neglectful? Interesting you should feel it necessary to single her out to avoid weekend working if this isn't a problem. I'm also sure the other staff who have children and are able to provide childcare will be delighted to cover those shifts instead.

@BoredZelda You really must be bored today 🤣 I don’t ONLY offer to change things for someone because I think they’re being neglectful 🤣 I have many team members who I have made adjustments for to allow them to have a better work/life balance. No other staff have been impacted by her change at all if you’d bothered to read the thread!

Out of interest - are you a manager? Because you sound like a bloody joy to work for 🙄

Ignore BoredZelda, op, you sound like a very considerate boss and I certainly didn't pick up any judgement from you.

Very nice of you to consider moving her shifts around to suit her little boy OP, well done

I would probably tell her that in the U.K. she can get in trouble for leaving a child home alone at that age ( for that length of time). It doesn’t matter what the law is anywhere else. It doesn’t matter that we were all left alone in charge of a flock of babies at 4 ( in the snow) she can potentially be in trouble. It just takes a postman ringing or a neighbour seeing something and reporting. You sound like a lovely thoughtful boss

She will know it's neglect, so I'm surprised she said that.

Just because the law doesn’t specify an age doesn’t mean you can leave a child at any age. Just because SS may not be interested doesn’t mean the police wouldn’t be. I’ve investigated plenty of home alone cases - the parents were arrested incidentally so I’m afraid the vague “ I’ve had CP training “ is not particularly helpful.