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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have handed in a sick note?

83 replies

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 04:47

Hey
First time poster but long time lurker

I have been signed off work with anxiety. The doctor has changed my medication and given me a two week sick note. I have a 11 month old and since going back to work I am not dealing well. Not sleeping, not eating, I cry all the time
However work is being nasty about it. I have had messages from colleagues saying how much shit I've left them in, nasty remarks from managers.
Can they sack me for Handing a sick note in? I don't take sick really. I was off the second week I returned back because I was sick and we have a policy of not working for 48 hours. And I had to take a weekend off waiting for coronavirus results, had all the symptoms.
Thanks

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 04/09/2021 12:52

Oh and do t reply to any messages so you can't say anything they'll try and use against you.

You aren't in the right frame of mind right mow to respond.

TabithaTiger · 04/09/2021 12:54

This is retail I assume? The sector is well known for treating staff badly. To be honest, if I were you I would get signed off for 4 weeks and use the time to look for another job. Loads of companies are crying out for staff at the moment, you don't need to put up with this. You could go to HR but I can't imagine it will change anything.

Original poster
foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 12:55

@itsgettingwierd

Furlough was government enforced.

Maternity is a statutory right.

Sickness bugs require time off because that's their policy.

Covid isolation is a statutory requirement.

Anxiety as bad as yours where you are signed as not fit to work by a GP requires time off.

I would send an email to the address you have.

Dear X,

I am currently off work as declared not fit to work by my GP.

The messages I'm receiving are feeling like harassment and I'm seeking advice on this from employment experts.

Please stop sending me messages whilst off sick regarding my absence - any continuation of this will now be considered as harassment.

I'm not doing anything beyond what is my statutory right and I will not recover quicker due to undue pressure and it risks making my illness worse.

Regards

Xxxxx

You need it in writing that what they are doing is unacceptable.

Also if you find out who HR is also look at occupational health. They may be able to get involved and support a change of shift pattern if this will facilitate your return to work.

Thank you, that's really helpful
OP posts:
Di11y · 04/09/2021 13:01

If your mental health is severe and ongoing it could be classed as a disability under the disability discrimination act. they would then need to make reasonable adjustment which could include day shifts if these are available.

NotLawrenceLlewellynBowen · 04/09/2021 13:02

You need to go through HR and make grievances against your contract workers and managers for bullying.

NotLawrenceLlewellynBowen · 04/09/2021 13:02

Co workers not contract workers

emilylily · 04/09/2021 13:10

@foreverinadaze

Hey First time poster but long time lurker

I have been signed off work with anxiety. The doctor has changed my medication and given me a two week sick note. I have a 11 month old and since going back to work I am not dealing well. Not sleeping, not eating, I cry all the time
However work is being nasty about it. I have had messages from colleagues saying how much shit I've left them in, nasty remarks from managers.
Can they sack me for Handing a sick note in? I don't take sick really. I was off the second week I returned back because I was sick and we have a policy of not working for 48 hours. And I had to take a weekend off waiting for coronavirus results, had all the symptoms.
Thanks

This absolutely sounds like workplace bullying.

You have done nothing wrong- you followed protocol for Norovirus and Covid as you should have done and each time it was only a few days off. Imagine instead you'd gone back to work and caused loads of people to fall ill through handling food when unwell!

Now you are struggling with your mental health condition, which is a valid reason to be off work.

Depending on your earnings is going on Universal Credit an option for you? You could spend the time getting some therapy sorted to help you recover from the post natal depression and anxiety.

IntermittentParps · 04/09/2021 13:31

Keep all the messages. Talk to HR (do you have one)? Consider talking to an employment solicitor.
Nasty messages is absolutely not on and they're potentially opening themselves up to a lot of trouble.
I'd have their guts for garters.

KatieMcKatie · 04/09/2021 13:33

I feel for you OP, if you had broken your leg would they be harassing you? Probably not. It's not on you if they don't have enough people to cope with an absence. You've done what you've been told to do by the dr, by law and by your employers. Hope you feel better soon. Have some cuddles with your baby.

itsgettingwierd · 04/09/2021 13:40

Do you have anyone who can help you make contact with HR or Occy health?

I'm concerned right now with you're anxiety as high as it is you'll rush what you're saying and not take in what's being said to you as you'll always be worrying about what's being said!

You are 100% in the right regardless of people's opinions on time off in your right to have time off and to have been absent the times you have.

Blueskytoday06 · 04/09/2021 13:52

Are you looking for other work? I think it might be time you did.

Goodmum1234 · 04/09/2021 15:07

Forever in a daze I really feel for you. It’s an awful feeling when you’re on that treadmill and feel like you have t bonded. It all sounds like overwhelming pnd. Get some help with this ASAP! I’ve been there, many on here have too. Then the stress of work can make you feel even worse. I do t know your financial situation but are you able to take time out of work or definitely not? I’m sorry if that’s impossible as life can be so hard.
Keep talking on here. I’m having a low day a d really trying to see the positives but it’s hard. This is just a crap part of the journey on life and it seems impossible snd work colleagues are not helping you.
Screenshot the comments and possibly think about leaving/ blocking.
Work should not enter home life especially when you are on sick leave and they are not supporting you.
Hand hold from me BrewCakeFlowers

Goodmum1234 · 04/09/2021 15:10

Do you know what? This could be your turning point fir change. Please look for other work if you have to. Anything rather than the pit of snakes x

Original poster
foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 15:18

I am looking for another job, just finding somewhere. Thanks for all the kind comments and for easing my mind a little
Im also going to ring my gp again to discuss the lack of bond between me and baby.
ACAS Monday morning and possibly hr if I can find a number

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
godmum56 · 04/09/2021 15:36

@IWasBornInAThunderstorm

Screenshot the messages in case they try to delete
yup do this then block em
Planty13 · 04/09/2021 16:54

Wow @HavelockVetinari are you okay? Grin i pointed out that it is a lot of leave. Which it is. That’s it.

HavelockVetinari · 05/09/2021 21:54

@Planty13

Wow *@HavelockVetinari* are you okay? Grin i pointed out that it is a lot of leave. Which it is. That’s it.
Ah give over, as if you aren't aware of how your comment would be taken (unless you're a sociopath, in which case, as you were, you've your own problems).
Phoenix76 · 05/09/2021 22:57

The only time I’ve messaged a colleague off sick is to see if they need anything, shopping fetched, medication picked up etc and after that I leave them alone (unless they need anything), I’m angry on your behalf. You have done nothing wrong but the half wits you work with could fill pages of their wrong doings. You and your health come first, your gp agrees and if your work place filled with dickheads continue on the path they’re on they could find themselves in very hot water. Don’t let it overwhelm you, take each situation one step at a time and agree with pp, if you have someone who can take some of this on for you please ask them. We’re with you op.

Planty13 · 05/09/2021 23:31

@foreverinadaze

Taken how? I’m fine with that. It’s a massive amount of time and from the employers perspective it’s more than enough time to deal with any anxiety related issues. You can’t pick and chose when mental health issues rear their ugly head but of course her employers are exasperated!

Stath · 05/09/2021 23:38

@Planty13 have you not understood that the 15 months was for furlough and mat leave combined? It was nothing to do with anxiety Hmm

Summerfun54321 · 06/09/2021 00:17

You haven’t done anything wrong at all OP. You have simply taken time off of work as advised by your GP, much the same as anyone would do for cancer treatment or any other serious physical illness. Mental illness is a legitimate reason for sick leave. The messages you’ve received from your colleagues (and some of the responses to this thread) are disgraceful. Flowers

grisen · 06/09/2021 00:22

OP do you work for a certain overpriced burger restaurant chain? If so I can help, DM me.

Planty13 · 06/09/2021 08:53

I understand perfectly @Stath

It doesn’t change the fact it is a long time to be off and then hand in a sick note FROM HER EMPLOYERS PERSPECTIVE

Gazelda · 06/09/2021 09:02

OP, you've been through a really tough time. I'm sure that ACAS will give you good advice.

And I'm sure that your GP or HV will be able to offer some support with your bonding.
You're having a tough time, but I promise it will get better. Sending lots of supportive wishes.

EmeraldRaine · 06/09/2021 11:29

Planty, stop being a twat. Havelock was really nice to you considering what you said. Mental illness doesnt work to a schedule. You can't tell depression that you've had it too long so that's enough now, and poof all better.

If your only contribution to the thread is to tell a young woman who is being bullied about justifiably taking time off sick is to agree with her colleagues, she's taken too much time off then piss off. You're not her doctor. Actually are you one of her colleagues? You sound like them.