AIBU to have handed in a sick note?

foreverinadaze · 2021-09-04T03:47:08+00:00

Hey First time poster but long time lurker I have been signed off work with anxiety. The doctor has changed my medication and given me a two week sick note. I have a 11 month old and since going back to work I am not dealing well. Not sleeping, not eating, I cry all the time However work is being nasty about it. I have had messages from colleagues saying how much shit I've left them in, nasty remarks from managers. Can they sack me for Handing a sick note in? I don't take sick really. I was off the second week I returned back because I was sick and we have a policy of not working for 48 hours. And I had to take a weekend off waiting for coronavirus results, had all the symptoms. Thanks

Sadiecow · 04/09/2021 04:50

How long have you worked there?

How long have you been back after from maternity leave?

So this is your third absence?

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 04:54

Worked there for 4 years. Went back in May. Had about 15 months off or so with furlough and maternity.
The first absence was following there sickness policy
The second was a Saturday and Sunday due to needing COVID testing when I was symptomatic

Sorry not to drip feed, work know I've struggled with my mental health and I've asked to change my shifts now countless times. They have my in at 2 to 3 am every day and it's killing me.

OP posts:

Sadiecow · 04/09/2021 05:00

Well you've been there over two years, so that's good.

They'd have to follow the correct dismissal procedures, it doesn't sound like they've started those.

However, I'd be making a formal complaint to HR about the messages etc.

That's not acceptable at all.

I'm guessing you're going to say that the company has no HR? Which is how they can get away with bullying?

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 05:07

@Sadiecow

Well you've been there over two years, so that's good.

They'd have to follow the correct dismissal procedures, it doesn't sound like they've started those.

However, I'd be making a formal complaint to HR about the messages etc.

That's not acceptable at all.

I'm guessing you're going to say that the company has no HR? Which is how they can get away with bullying?

I don't know if we do. They've been sending me messages about how we don't have enough staff as it is and how I'm not thinking of them. Genuinely scared I'm gonna get sacked

OP posts:

Sadiecow · 04/09/2021 05:10

You need to find out if they have an HR department. I'd say that was bullying TVH.

Sadiecow · 04/09/2021 05:10

TBH not TVH!

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 05:13

I'll have a look now. I'm not taking sick lightly but I think they think I'm being lazy and can't be arsed

OP posts:

Sadiecow · 04/09/2021 05:17

@foreverinadaze

I'll have a look now. I'm not taking sick lightly but I think they think I'm being lazy and can't be arsed

Doesn't matter what they think, they're bullying you. Speak to HR.

Pippa12 · 04/09/2021 08:50

3 episodes of sickness in 3 months at my work would evoke the stage 3 sickness protocol, regardless of following their policies, sick is sick. I’d expect a ‘meeting’ when I went back but not the abusive messages.

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 09:56

@Pippa12

3 episodes of sickness in 3 months at my work would evoke the stage 3 sickness protocol, regardless of following their policies, sick is sick. I’d expect a ‘meeting’ when I went back but not the abusive messages.

I totally get that but the two mentioned were for their own sickness policy, we work with food so can't work for 48 hours after the sickness ended. And the 2 days off were due to COVID symptoms. I only had a cough, pre COVID I'd have just gone in and got on with it.

OP posts:

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 09:58

They know and have known for a while I'm struggling with my mental health, I've been in tears at work every day. I'm not coping, I'm only following medical advice

OP posts:

Sapphire387 · 04/09/2021 10:25

How big is your workplace? If it's a big company, I would expect them to have a sickness policy and a procedure surrounding bullying.

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 10:29

Don't want to name the company but it's massive. Has businesses all over the world. We have about 40 people at our store.

OP posts:

Jangle33 · 04/09/2021 10:31

They can sack you. You can fight them in a Tribunal if you don’t agree with it (which is stressful and will take about a year). I would honestly try and find another job, with better shifts it sounds awful. Are there other options?

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 10:33

Not really, no. Grit my teeth and bear it.
It's not a place I would recommend to anyone
I can't do right from wrong. I hate calling in sick, honestly just wish I had gone in with COVID symptoms now. I didn't want to be signed off sick but when the doctor suggests it and strongly advises it I'm going to follow his advice.

OP posts:

alwayswrighty · 04/09/2021 10:34

Then they will have a sick policy and proper HR and I'd probably take a picture of my sick note from the GP and email the copy to HR along with an email advising them of your colleagues messages. That is unprofessional and they should be stopped.

Planty13 · 04/09/2021 10:34

15 months off is an a very long time to have off, to return to work then take sick leave and get signed off so quickly I must admit OP.

The messages from your colleagues are completely unacceptable and you need to forward them to HR or a manager.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 04/09/2021 10:35

I'd just keep submitting sicknotes as it doesnt sound like the anxiety will go away with the amount of harassment they are giving you.

Call ACAS and talk through what you have told us.

Send a round Robin to everyone who has messaged you "I am on sick leave from work - I will respond to your message on my return"

Keep detailed notes. Try and keep the notes factual rather than feelings.

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 10:39

@Planty13

15 months off is an a very long time to have off, to return to work then take sick leave and get signed off so quickly I must admit OP.

The messages from your colleagues are completely unacceptable and you need to forward them to HR or a manager.

15 months wasn't my choice. Furlough shut us down and by the time we reopened I was 30 weeks pregnant and they advised me to not come back till maternity ended. I was under the perinatal team for mental health and work knew this. I have begged and begged to be given different shifts, it's been rejected everytime. I went to the docs for my medicine review and they have changed my medication. I can see where they are coming from.

As for the messages I've had people telling me I'm going to be sacked, I'm useless, I'm not myself, we don't have enough staff so I'm pissing everyone off,

We don't have an email address as such, not one for colleagues, just for the store, they have a copy of my sick note.

I will ring ACAS on Monday

OP posts:

SummerHouse · 04/09/2021 10:40

You have done nothing wrong. In fact I think you have done the right thing at every stage. This job is awful. The people are awful. It's making you ill. Have you any other options for work? I really think you should get the hell out.

vivainsomnia · 04/09/2021 10:43

OP, tak a deep breath and ignore the nasty comments. They are frustrated and you must understand why considering how much time off you've had.

The focus needs to be on you not coping. Why aren't you coping? Have your shifts changed from before you were pregnant? Or do you find it harder because you now have a baby? What is it about the job that brings on such anxiety that it is making it difficult to cope?

There are three options. You identify what makes you ill, and work out what would make it better. Ask your manager, maybe via occupational health to discuss adjustments to help you cope. They might agree, they might not.

You then to decide whether you can indeed go back and be reliable, with adjustments or not. If not, you do need to consider looking for another job whether the pressures that trigger your anxiety are not existent. Your mental state will be much better if you are in control, and looking for another job than if you are constantly wondering f you are about to get sacked.

In every way, you're going to need to be pro-active. Give you a week to rest, stop thinking about it, don't read messages, and the next week to think things through.

Original poster

foreverinadaze · 04/09/2021 10:50

@vivainsomnia

OP, tak a deep breath and ignore the nasty comments. They are frustrated and you must understand why considering how much time off you've had.

The focus needs to be on you not coping. Why aren't you coping? Have your shifts changed from before you were pregnant? Or do you find it harder because you now have a baby? What is it about the job that brings on such anxiety that it is making it difficult to cope?

There are three options. You identify what makes you ill, and work out what would make it better. Ask your manager, maybe via occupational health to discuss adjustments to help you cope. They might agree, they might not.

You then to decide whether you can indeed go back and be reliable, with adjustments or not. If not, you do need to consider looking for another job whether the pressures that trigger your anxiety are not existent. Your mental state will be much better if you are in control, and looking for another job than if you are constantly wondering f you are about to get sacked.

In every way, you're going to need to be pro-active. Give you a week to rest, stop thinking about it, don't read messages, and the next week to think things through.

I find work stressful. We don't have enough staff at all. There's very much an expectation of staying late after your shift has ended because simply we don't have enough staff. I find it hard to cope with that, I hate saying no to them so inevitably end up saying yes and feeling more anxious. My husband works full time too and our shifts are split so someone is home with the baby. We don't have childcare options

I know they are frustrated.

I haven't coped since having the baby, I still haven't bonded with her and am fully aware how awful that makes me sound.

I am looking for another job, but they are few and far between especially with the hours to work around childcare.

Honestly i know I sound whiny and Pathetic but I've had enough, I don't take time off lightly and pre baby I never was off sick. She got a sickness bug so I ended up with it and we work with food so had to take a day off. Then I got a cough and we don't drive so had to be a postal test, no walk ins nearby and by the time it arrived and sent back that was another 2 days

OP posts:

HavelockVetinari · 04/09/2021 10:55

@Planty13

15 months off is an a very long time to have off, to return to work then take sick leave and get signed off so quickly I must admit OP.

The messages from your colleagues are completely unacceptable and you need to forward them to HR or a manager.

That is a completely prickish comment @planty13 - OP has taken her legal entitlement to maternity leave, and it's not her fault she was furloughed. People cannot choose not to be ill because it's inconvenient!

You should be ashamed of yourself for putting the boot in to a woman who's obviously unwell and already being bullied. You're a disgrace.

Yuppie20 · 04/09/2021 11:16

It was my understanding that covid isolation and testing couldn't be counted towards sickness? You need a formal warning in writing given first unless gross misconduct. Are you part of a union?

DrManhattan · 04/09/2021 11:22

They could sack you but you may have a case against them at a tribunal. Have they tried to help you in anyway?