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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to hate deciding what's for dinner

66 replies

Toomuch2019 · 03/09/2021 17:25

A slightly lighthearted one but AIBU to hate being the one to decide what's for dinner?

It gets to 4 and I start feeling super pissed off because it's time to think about it again. And it's made worse because the kids only seem to eat a handful of things. I get irritated then if it's something I can't be faffed with or I'm bored of eating.

I realise probably IABU because I'm lucky to have food, I could meal plan or try and get my kids to eat a bigger variety of food but right now I'm so meh!

Does anyone else feel like this????

OP posts:

Bettyboop3 · 03/09/2021 19:03

Meal plan, i do a week at a time so i don't have to think about it every day because it annoys me too! I write the list & shop for the week & DH cooks & still often asks what i want

Slowestjog · 03/09/2021 19:05

Do you have a recipe for the henceforth named shepherdess pie?

PepsiHoover · 03/09/2021 19:07

@Soupsseason

Do a meal plan. We spend a couple hrs on the weekend. I pick a couple meals, my Mr picks a couple meals, the kids pick something. Everything gets prepared in advance. Whoever gets home first can check the meal plan, pull out what they need and get dinner started.

What happens when the day comes and you don't want that meal though? This is why I've always hated meal plans in reality. I like them in principle because I'm quite organised. But in reality, I never want what I'm meant to be having that day.

Berkeys · 03/09/2021 19:15

This

mynameiscalypso · 03/09/2021 19:15

Meal planning also doesn't solve the inherent problem of it - generally - being the woman's role to decide what the family are going to eat. Whether you do it at once or on a daily basis, it's still one of those 'wife work' tasks (a phrase I hate but which I can't find a way to better) which takes up a disproportionate amount of time/headspace and, often, nobody else in the family gives any thought to at all.

Changeychangey1234 · 03/09/2021 19:17

Literally the worst part of adulting. I hate choosing meals to cook... nearly as much as I hate ironing.

Xmasbaby11 · 03/09/2021 19:19

I meal plan but still hate it, largely.

MsWalterMitty · 03/09/2021 19:22

Yep! I don’t mind cooking! As long as DH decides what I cook 🤣

HighlandCowbag · 03/09/2021 19:23

I fucking hate it with a passion. 1 veggie, 1 fussy 7 yr old, the veggie is fussy as well, dh likes a mans tea of meat and veg and potatoes. I want healthy shit, the kids want beige crap.

The only thing we all eat and all enjoy is roast dinners but I'm fucked if I'm doing that every night.

It's impossible to feed us all the same thing. Veggie dd does her own stuff generally. I feed ds before me and dh and quite often he will have leftovers from the night before.

Tbf the dcs are easier than dh. Who constantly says when asked what he wants for dinner 'anything, am not bothered' to then decline whatever 3 or 4 things I suggest.

I'd happily have anything as long as it's relatively healthy and not processed crap.

mathanxiety · 03/09/2021 19:24

Yes, I used to feel exactly like you, OP.

It was a daily deadline hanging over me, and fussy eaters made it a right pain in the derriere.

I started batch cooking and it changed my life. I had a freezer full of stews, soups, curries, lasagna, chili, Bolognese... Deciding on dinner was like raiding the frozen section of the supermarket.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 03/09/2021 19:27

Oh my gosh. Totally not unreasonable. Every night i get asked what’s for dinner and someone objects.
My husband is the worst one. He only eats what I would call plain boring food like chops and potatoes and veg. Whereas I like things with flavour so Indian, Mexican etc and will experiment. So will the dc to an extent although they have got fussier as they got to teen years. Toddlers and children they’re were great and eat everything.

I’ve been told to quit red meat and sugar to help with arthritis symptoms and h is definitely not supportive of that.

scully29 · 03/09/2021 19:32

Im so surprised people hate this, I love it! Its like choosing a menu for the family every day, you literally get to choose what you eat, its brilliant.

CatBumJuice · 03/09/2021 19:37

I've found it all so much easier since I've been working at home during covid. I used to really resent getting home at 7.30 and then having to start cooking. Another fan of Gousto, which we did for a couple of months. It got me out of a cooking rut, and I still use the recipe cards as the basis of most of my meals.

Spyro1234 · 03/09/2021 19:50

Yes it's the absolute bane of my life. SO boring.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 03/09/2021 19:55

My husband has just asked me what's for tea. I've poured him a bowl of cereal

Original poster

Toomuch2019 · 03/09/2021 20:04

@Sugarplumfairy65

My husband has just asked me what's for tea. I've poured him a bowl of cereal

This just made me snort my gin!

Decided after reading these messages am
going to meal plan and batch cook more. Hopefully that will help. Glad to know it's not just me though!

OP posts:

Dacquoise · 03/09/2021 20:12

I love cooking but periodically feel a bit meh deciding what's for dinner. That's when my partner fetches the chicken kebabs. Grilled meat, loads of salad and a pitta bread. No guilt involved.

However, I do generally plan and shop for a few days meals and make full use of the freezer for batch cooking.

znaika · 03/09/2021 20:21

I hate it too but am super lazy and boring. I always impressed and sort of confused when people say oh on Mon - mexican, tue- thai, wed- Italian and something different and exciting everyday and they all have different ingredients. It's sort of cool but omg i couldn't be bothered.
I make a vat of soup or casserole and we eat until it's gone. Could take 4 days 😂. Then when i get home a just chop salad( empty bag into bowl) fuck dessert cba. Fruit if dc needs something else. Waiting for someone to tell me it's dangerous- ee have iron guts ( by necessity probably)

flowersmakeitbetter · 03/09/2021 20:22

I like cooking but do get a bit fed up planning.

I usually plan three or four days ahead. Our cupboards are usually well stocked as I add things to the online shop as we use them up (or just before). I only need to get the odd fresh bits every few days.

Mind you, to say that I am gutted that Waitrose are going to start charging for online delivery would be the understatement of the century!

SylvanasWindrunner · 03/09/2021 20:29

I've just bought a book by The Batch Lady and one of the sections in there was 10 meals in an hour, so I think I might do that this weekend and get the freezer stocked for the days where neither of us can be arsed.

I do a lot of slow cooker stuff that is just chucking some meat and a bunch of other stuff in first thing when I get up, but that obviously doesn't solve the issue of choosing what (and isn't good if you are the kind of person who needs to wait till dinner time to see what you fancy!).

FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/09/2021 20:34

I feel your pain, I caved and started using Gusto, now get between 2 and 4 meals a week and we have a lot of new recipes to use so going to start cutting down. It has been a revelation!

FlyingPandas · 03/09/2021 20:37

@Toomuch2019

A slightly lighthearted one but AIBU to hate being the one to decide what's for dinner?

I realise probably IABU because I'm lucky to have food, I could meal plan or try and get my kids to eat a bigger variety of food but right now I'm so meh!

Does anyone else feel like this????

God, I could have written this word for word.

I hate meal prep and cooking. Hate it. HATE IT. Similar issues with kids eating a limited range and every meal I prepare is flavoured with resentment and loathing (not of the kids I hasten to add but of the bloody fucking cooking process).

Honestly if I could just give them a pill to meet all their nutrional requirements I would.

I know I need to start meal planning, that in the long term it would make my life easier but even the thought of it makes me want to scream.

I really think that if people realised how much miserable relentless drudging cookery they'd have to do in raising a family, far fewer women would get pregnant!

YANBU OP. YA so N fucking BU it's unreal.

Hellotoallmyfans · 03/09/2021 20:39

Yes, I hate it - and I'm getting worse as I get older. Hate cooking, hate having to think of something that everyone will eat and invariably end up making the same 5 things over and over again and eating out/getting takeouts at weekends. I also buy a lot of ready meal chicken breast type things to do with veg or salad and some carbs.

If I lived alone I'd just live on baked potatoes or soup/sandwiches. I've been going this for 20-odd years now and I've had enough!

The worst is when everyone comes in from work/school and asks"what's for tea?". I feel like screaming "HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW??"

RubyGoat · 03/09/2021 20:51

YANBU OP. I hate it. I always seem to be the one who has to organise dinner. Despite having a list of food intolerances as long as your arm. DH & DD can eat anything, they're just fussy. DH always expects me to sort it, but doesn't want me to dictate what he's having for tea because he'd rather eat kebab/pizza/chinese takeaway every night but gets grumpy when his dinner isn't magically sorted out by the fucking fairies. Regularly we go to the supermarket and the farm shop, we get home, and he still has nothing organised for his dinner. He refuses to plan ahead, let me plan ahead, or discuss it. I gave up with it a long time ago.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 03/09/2021 20:56

No - I grew up in a house where the person who cooked was terrible at it. I like choosing and preparing exactly what I want to eat, to a reasonable standard.

It's possibly helped by the fact I have no DC to consider and if my husband and I feel like eating different things, we just each cook our own dinner.

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