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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you like your siblings

124 replies

Hiyanice · 02/09/2021 21:44

Not too keen on mine and believe they feel the same

OP posts:
Megan2018 · 03/09/2021 11:19

I love him but don’t always like him. We are very different and I am less and less tolerant of him now we have different lives. He has made some fairly poor choices and is a bit of a car crash.

My DH is NC with his 2 siblings but not through choice. His mother moved them to another country and left DH behind (long story) and he’s not seen or heard from them in decades which upsets him greatly.

DD will be an only and I don’t think she’s missing much!

FreeBritnee · 03/09/2021 11:22

No but it was a relationship that struggled from the offset. We tried multiple times and we just don’t work, I don’t hate them though.

FreeBritnee · 03/09/2021 11:23

Oh and I hope this thread really helps those with only children who tried desperately to give them siblings. My DH is an only and was a very happy child who is now a very happy adult with zero sibling drama.

MatildaIThink · 03/09/2021 11:29

@PieceOfString

MatildaIThink wow! What a lovely story, he sounds lovely, how fortunate you have had another chance to have this great person in your life. Parents sometimes create such unnecessary issues, you wonder what they were thinking at the time!
It is crazy when you realise that nearly all people's issues come from their parents. My parents thought making things a competition would be good for us, I am competitive, but my brother is not, they favoured me because I played their game, but I always felt he was "better" because he "won" more, even though he did not care about winning.

He really is amazing and you are right, I am very lucky to have him in my life, especially the way we are now. What I do find so sad is that because of so much of the way my parents were my brother has self esteem issues and is not confident with women despite all my friends (though they are now already partnered) thinking he is the perfect man. He is very good looking (according to my friends) and amazingly fit, but in no way arrogant about it, he is one of the most intelligent people I know (and I work with more PhDs that I have fingers and toes), amazing with children, runs his own business and is financially in a good position, and an incredibly kind and caring man. But because of how our parents treated him growing up, especially nothing ever being good enough and needing to keep trying harder, he really struggles with confidence with women, he does not think he is good enough for them. He is having therapy and it does seem to be helping him, I really hope it means he can find someone who he feels happy with.

Pinkfluffyunicornsandrainbows · 03/09/2021 11:32

I love all of my siblings dearly, I have a lovely relationship with them all. I know i am blessed though as many families don't get along well. I believe in the saying "blood is thicker than water". Although you can choose your friends you have a biological connection (including parents, extended family etc) with your siblings. You can have friends for 20, 30, 40 years or more and then something happens and you fall out never to speak again. There is no family connection to keep you in contact. That is only my opinion though, i know some people probably are alot closer to their friends than their siblings. We are all different after all.

MooseBreath · 03/09/2021 11:41

I have two brothers. We don't live nearby but while we don't call each other often, we get along very well. Family reunions are always fun.

Otherpeoplesteens · 03/09/2021 11:42

One younger sister. She was an out and out sociopath as a teenager and did some quite nasty spiteful things to me and our parents, was estranged from them for some time. Our mom died without the two of them ever really reconciling and as soon as she realised she had to live with that for the rest of her life suddenly grew up. We're not close, but we tolerate each other now and would do most things to help each other out if asked, but we live a long way apart. Relationship is still difficult where our Dad is concerned.

Ultimately, several of the kids I lived and grew up with at boarding school are much more like siblings to me than she is.

My BIL (wife's brother) I would happily adopt and keep forever.

2000lightyearsaway123 · 03/09/2021 11:44

I adore my brother and sister. I would say they are some of my best friends and I genuinely don't know what I'd do without them.

Dumpling89 · 03/09/2021 11:45

I am very close with my sister and couldn't imagine it (or cope with it) any other way.

MrsMime · 03/09/2021 11:46

My older sister is wonderful. We're very different but get on well. I wish I was a bit more like her - she's a lot tougher than me and I really admire her.

DeliaOwens · 03/09/2021 11:46

I have two.
Love one and speak weekly and visit regularly.
The other lives on the opposite end of the world and I never speak with them and they don't visit our home country.

lastqueenofscotland · 03/09/2021 11:54

I like them but we aren’t close. We see each other 2/3 times a year and dont really talk much beyond that.

sunshineandshowers21 · 03/09/2021 11:55

i’m very close to my brother and sister. we talk every day, i see my sister most days, and we all have sunday dinner at our parents. they’re two of my favourite people in the world, and i would do absolutely anything for them. i think it helps that we’re all really close in age. there’s a year and half between me and my sister, and a year between my sister and brother. my mum is also very close to her siblings, whereas my dad rarely sees or speaks to his.

OrangeTortoise · 03/09/2021 11:58

I have one brother. He's a lovely person, but we are very different. We stay in touch by text but rarely meet up.

DH is not close to his brother either.

slapmyarseandcallmemary · 03/09/2021 11:59

Love mine

1WayOrAnother2 · 03/09/2021 12:03

@ZednotZee

I hate mine for failing to exist.
They must be pretty resentful of you too :)
1moreglassplease · 03/09/2021 12:08

One younger brother and we're not close at all. We've always been very different people. He was 'babied' throughout his childhood and is now a 49 year old baby. Also the golden child until recently. We both had the same childhood but apparently he remembers everything very differently to the rest of us.

He's made some poor life choices and apparently this is everyone else's fault but his. He's married and considers his wife his family, rather than me or my mum. He certainly wouldn't facilitate a relationship between his wife and us which is sad because I think she's quite nice.

His behaviour, things he's said and attitude to my mum since my dad died last year have been appalling and his 'golden child' halo has now well and truly slipped now that he may be asked to take some kind of responsibility. It's been eye opening to watch but not surprising to me at all. He's a sad and bitter man now and I'm now beyond caring about trying to have any kind of normal relationship with him.

DariaMorgendorffer · 03/09/2021 12:09

Adore them.

NobbyButtons · 03/09/2021 12:10

I get on fine with my sister and we have some hobbies and interests in common, but we have just never been particularly close and normally only see each other a few times a year - which is a bit of a shame really.

WhatHaveIFound · 03/09/2021 12:19

I don't really like my sister but luckily we don't see each other very ofter as she lives abroad. I only keep in touch for my parents sake and to update her on how they are.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/09/2021 14:15

Yep love them, would be lost without them.

wandawaves · 03/09/2021 14:34

Oh, my post got deleted, I have no idea why.

But, no, I don't like my siblings.

ConstanceGracy · 03/09/2021 15:03

I do and I don’t.
I have one older sister who has always been self absorbed but we always had a laugh etc.. since she got married to a complete dick head she’s even more self absorbed and I never hear from her.
She’s been invited here loads of times and sometimes they’ll come but we’ve never been invited out by them or to their house. None of our family have.
She won’t even go to my mums house anymore, she makes her meet her out somewhere.

Wandawandawoo · 17/09/2021 19:01

To all those who are NC, what do you do for Christmas and family events ?

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