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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit scared now?

34 replies

bathsh3ba · 02/09/2021 16:51

I made a Claire's Law disclosure request a while back about someone I was dating, am not now.
Was told verbally over phone nothing to disclose.
Today I got a text from a police officer asking to come and see me about it. A few mins later I got a text from my ex, the officer had sent him the same text a few mins before by accident.
So my ex now asked if I had made a disclosure request. I've said no .... but if there is anything to disclose, haven't they now potentially put me in danger?

OP posts:
hashbrownsandwich · 02/09/2021 16:53

I would contact the police to check this is genuine and if it is then they need to explain how your ex has found out.

Meanwhile, just deny all knowledge to the ex and don't respond to his contact.

BitterTits · 02/09/2021 16:56

That's a massive breach of confidentiality. Why the fuck did the PO have your ex's number anyway? And what are they doing communicating by text?

Original poster
bathsh3ba · 02/09/2021 16:59

It is genuine and the officer admits he sent the text by mistake and apologises. I just hope there is no disclosure!

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 02/09/2021 17:00

Why does the officer have your ex's number?

HollowTalk · 02/09/2021 17:01

I can't believe how stupid some people are. What the hell was that police officer thinking?

MedusasBadHairDay · 02/09/2021 17:02

@DrSbaitso

Why does the officer have your ex's number?
That's what I was wondering
Spysolation · 02/09/2021 17:03

This is so shocking. I cannot believe what I’ve just read Shock

Original poster
bathsh3ba · 02/09/2021 17:05

I gave the number when I gave his details in the original application.

I mean best case scenario nothing to disclose and ex just thinks I'm weird.

Worst case scenario ... I could be in trouble.

OP posts:
GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 02/09/2021 17:06

Please make absolutely sure this is genuine. How did he have the ex's number anyway? It needs to be reported for confidentiality anyway

Mamamia7962 · 02/09/2021 17:06

How has he got your ex's number?

GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 02/09/2021 17:08

Not sure if it falls under the remit of 101 but the actions of the officer need looking into. Hopefully it's ok for you, but it might not have been for another woman.

babyyy1926 · 02/09/2021 17:08

What made you put the request in? Do you think you could be in danger due to the police officers mistake? I would report that officer for confidentiality

PumpkinPie2016 · 02/09/2021 17:09

I would double check this is genuine.

It seems a bit odd to me that a police officer would send a text asking to see someone about reporting anything or discussing a case?

Wouldn't they ring or call around to the house?

BitterTits · 02/09/2021 17:09

You need to make a complaint, and not to this idiot. The police need to be aware that they've put you at risk.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/09/2021 17:11

I would not be happy with anything about the way this was done. You don't communicate over text for something like this, surely. Confidentiality is paramount. Even without the cockup over sending the text to your ex by mistake, they should NOT be texting. What if he were not your ex and you were still with him and made the disclosure request? There is major risk in that situation of the person seeing that text on your phone. It needs reporting, it's horrendous practice.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/09/2021 17:14

What communication had you had with the police before you received this particular text?

flowerbus · 02/09/2021 17:15

You should definitely put a complaint in

QuestionableMouse · 02/09/2021 17:16

I'd ring the station they're working from and double check before going anywhere.

cushioncovers · 02/09/2021 17:26

I would either deny all knowledge of it to your ex or stand your ground and say that you the check with anyone you introduce into your child's life and it was nothing personal. Don't be afraid, you haven't gotten anyone in trouble other than maybe the PO.

Original poster
bathsh3ba · 02/09/2021 17:30

I phoned 101 and spoke to the local police who were no use without a badge number, they could only tell me an officer of that name does work for them and in an appropriate department to have contacted me.

I replied to my ex to say it was nothing to do with me, and he's just responded to say sorry for bothering me. So I guess I'll have to wait for the appointment to see if it's genuine... and hope there's no disclosure.

OP posts:
Smackthepony · 02/09/2021 17:34

This is a serious breach of confidentiality! This needs to be raised with the police immediately. You’ve gone to them to try to protect yourself only for them to put you at risk! I’m also interested to know what prompted you to make the request. You must have had good reason.

Nc4post99 · 02/09/2021 17:36

Please put in a complaint about that officer, stuff like that, huge glaring oversights in privacy and safeguarding can get people killed. extreme but it does happen and a police officer should be aware and exceptionally cautious.

Original poster
bathsh3ba · 02/09/2021 18:02

I caught him out in some pretty stupid lies and the way he talked about his ex raised alarm bells for me. However, I've been in an abusive marriage before and I may well have been over-reacting.

OP posts:
Elieza · 02/09/2021 18:34

If the police did that it would be a breach of GDPR and should have been reported to the appropriate person.

I don’t know how you would go about finding out about whether this happened or not but I’d be writing in to check.

waterrat · 02/09/2021 18:40

I don't know why thr police would ask you for your ex phone number that seems bizarre. You aren't responsible for details like that and I would consider it a breach of gdpr.

The police officer has made a very serious error and should have called you not texted particularly as he had allegedly just made a mistake.

I have to say this doesn't quite ring true and I would be worried your ex is lying