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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said 'I don't want to hear your domestic I'm trying to exercise' ??'

60 replies

Dailyfuckyoumail · 02/09/2021 15:38

I am seriously regretting this.

In short I was trying to concentrate on the cross trainer to get my heart rate up and I was finding it hard.

Woman on the step machine behind gets on step machine and immediately gets on a call with her partner getting into an increasingly heated argument about things she had put in the loft.

By the time she had risen her voice and had been going on sometime, i turned round and said that to her.

When I got off the machine she and her friend both shouted at me really aggressively and then both shouted at me to fuck off.

Was I unreasonable to have said that in the first place?

OP posts:
PricklesAndSpikes · 02/09/2021 16:24

It was rude of her to be on her phone, but why does someone else doing anything (arguing / chatting / their own music / gym music / grunting) prevent you from getting your heart rate up on a cross trainer? It's not like you have to count or meditate or anything! Confused Genuinely curious!

How did you think she should have responded? With a quiet and calm "I am so sorry for disturbing you, I shall stop my argument and continue it at home so as not to stop you concentrating on your movement!" She was bound to yell at you too, surely that would have crossed your mind before you turned round and interrupted her mid rant!

grey12 · 02/09/2021 16:25

That wasn't a nice thing to say but she shouldn't have been on her phone. You should have flagged someone from the gym or ask her to take her phone conversation outside

LukeEvansWife · 02/09/2021 16:28

You were both rude. She shouldn’t have been rowing on the phone and you should have just got on with your session

daisyjgrey · 02/09/2021 16:28

Earphones.

grisen · 02/09/2021 16:29

@PricklesAndSpikes

It was rude of her to be on her phone, but why does someone else doing anything (arguing / chatting / their own music / gym music / grunting) prevent you from getting your heart rate up on a cross trainer? It's not like you have to count or meditate or anything! Confused Genuinely curious!

How did you think she should have responded? With a quiet and calm "I am so sorry for disturbing you, I shall stop my argument and continue it at home so as not to stop you concentrating on your movement!" She was bound to yell at you too, surely that would have crossed your mind before you turned round and interrupted her mid rant!

This!! If you're upset/annoyed enough to have an argument on the phone, you're probably gonna be even more so when someone tells you to stop your domestic.

Btw. I hate it when people say shit like "stop your domestic" it makes it into a personal attack and can be upsetting.

seaandsandcastles · 02/09/2021 16:30

What response were you expecting? Confused You were rude.

HighNetGirth · 02/09/2021 16:33

Being generally in the right about the noise does not mean you are justified in saying something unpleasant. It would have been fine to ask her politely to keep the noise down. It was really not fine to say what you said.

MintyGreenDream · 02/09/2021 16:34

Fucking hell where is your gym? Sounds delightful

CreamCabbages · 02/09/2021 16:34

You instigated the confrontation, so unreasonable behaviour all round.

TatianaBis · 02/09/2021 16:35

I like eavesdropping. In a waiting room the other day two women were talking about the really valuable thing one had found in her father's house when she was clearing it out. I was desperate to know what it was and how much it was worth.

So no, you're BU, I'd want to know what she'd put in the loft and what she was cross with DP about.

NativityDreaming · 02/09/2021 16:36

I would have laughed at her when she yelled fuck off. What an aggressive fool.

itsgettingwierd · 02/09/2021 16:37

And think the fact it didn't occur to her how socially abnormal it is to have a public domestic via the phone should have been an indication of her reaction.

But I don't blame you for speaking up.

Everanewbie · 02/09/2021 16:38

@HighNetGirth

Being generally in the right about the noise does not mean you are justified in saying something unpleasant. It would have been fine to ask her politely to keep the noise down. It was really not fine to say what you said.
Actually agree with this. Thanks HighNetGirth, I stand by the persons rudeness, and that its not unreasonable for someone to tactfully request that she stfu in as many words, but maybe you lost the moral high ground with your approach.
Pinkandwhitewafer · 02/09/2021 16:50

Oh god I had similar...I was getting out of my jaguar at waitrose and some woman was having a proper row on the phone with her husband. I said "stop arguing, im trying to shop here. its hard to be fabulous with all that racket". I then strode off on my Louboutin's into the store and bought some hummous to go with my diamonds.

MintyGreenDream · 02/09/2021 16:53

I wouldn't have heard her.I watch Netflix on my phone while I'm at the gym.Id recommend it the time flies.

Echobelly · 02/09/2021 16:55

I think making calls in the gym is not on, full stop. Even ordinary ones are quite distracting, let alone arguments - and I think I've heard that conversations where you can only hear one side are much more distracting than when you can hear both, ie it's not the same as two people exercising together and chatting, which is perfectly reasonable.

Longdistance · 02/09/2021 16:59

When she told you to ‘fuck off!’ You should’ve have said ‘I really wish you would!’

theleafandnotthetree · 02/09/2021 17:09

Oh OP I admire you for it and it is the kind of thing I would do/say. I have had words a few times at the cinema with patrons where I pointed out I hadn't paid X to hear their yattering/socialising. I have been told to fuck off but once or twice the penny has dropped and people have gone quiet or left (result!) I believe the whole 'my bubble my rules' thing has got to be challenged and don't much care if people think I'm crazy or tell me to fuck off.

KatherineJaneway · 02/09/2021 17:18

YANBU.

I have some of these types of people at my gym. I give them hard stares sometimes but they are completely oblivious so I just tend to move. I don't think they have any idea how loud they actually are.

VeganVeal · 02/09/2021 17:19

What had she put in the loft???

Macncheeseballs · 02/09/2021 17:24

At least she helped get your heart rate up! Not sure what's humble bragging about exercise though

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 02/09/2021 17:24

@FrankGrillosFloof

I love being able to eavesdrop on a barney, especially when doing something as monotonous as the cross trainer.
I was going to say this but didn't want to get jumped on! Blush
FlaviaAlbiaWantsLangClegBack · 02/09/2021 17:26

@TheQueef

Should have gone straight in for a tussle. That'd get the blood pumping.
GrinGrinGrin
lockdownmadnessdotcom · 02/09/2021 17:31

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

Understandable, but did you really expect someone who'd behave like that in the first place to do anything other than mouth off at you?
This. However, I don't blame you OP - it would have annoyed me too. I've witnessed it on trains and thought for goodness sake! Although eavesdropping can be fun too, though a bit annoying when you can only hear half the conversation.

I am always surprised when people are so willing to have their domestic barneys in public!

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 02/09/2021 17:31

@Longdistance

When she told you to ‘fuck off!’ You should’ve have said ‘I really wish you would!’
Grin