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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Misogynistic - School uniform

119 replies

LadyGAgain · 01/09/2021 23:17

Right. This is a weird one so pls hear me out.
School has a very strict uniform policy. This isn't the AIBU.
Boys can wear trousers or shorts throughout the year with a shirt and tie plus pullover.
Girls can wear the same as above (including skirt) but are allowed to wear a gingham dress only in the summer term.

So boys can wear any of their uniform options throughout the year but girls are only allowed to wear part of their uniform when they are told it's ok.

None of my issue is about uniform. It's about boys being able to do anything throughout the year and girls being told they can't until the school say they can. So the subliminal messaging is happening without people realising it.
Girls conform. Boys can just be.

The girls won't recognise this right now but it's there. Subliminally there.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Meraas · 02/09/2021 04:48

@NiceGerbil agreed and it’s a shame for girls. I hate tights too. I wear knee high socks under my trousers in winter. I’ve actually just bought some fleece thigh high socks on eBay.

Balonzette · 02/09/2021 04:52

This is the weirdest thing I've ever read.

The girls literally have more options than the boys and it's still wrong.

Nobody can do anything right these days 😂

Balonzette · 02/09/2021 04:56

@CecilyP

It more about little girls arriving in think summer dresses not suited to the weather

Which suggests they think parents are too stupid to dress their girls appropriately for the weather.

As a teacher, I can say that a lot of the time the school needs to step in in ways like this to prevent parents who can't or won't ensure their child is properly prepared for the weather, or other situations, by making blanket rules. It's not unfair, it's how you manage a huge number of children and parents (of varying levels of responsibility) when it will inevitably be the school who is blamed for any non-ideal situation!
MilesOfSand · 02/09/2021 05:00

I’m not sure I’d be as polite with some of the responses you’re getting along the lines of ‘the girls are so lucky to have the extra choice of wearing a dress or a dress in the summer!’

MilesOfSand · 02/09/2021 05:02

CecilyP
It more about little girls arriving in think summer dresses not suited to the weather

Which suggests they think parents are too stupid to dress their girls appropriately for the weather.
As a teacher, I can say that a lot of the time the school needs to step in in ways like this to prevent parents who can't or won't ensure their child is properly prepared for the weather, or other situations, by making blanket rules. It's not unfair, it's how you manage a huge number of children and parents (of varying levels of responsibility) when it will inevitably be the school who is blamed for any non-ideal situation!

Parents are stupid but only when parenting girls who must wear dresses only?

MilesOfSand · 02/09/2021 05:02

@Balonzette

This is the weirdest thing I've ever read.

The girls literally have more options than the boys and it's still wrong.

Nobody can do anything right these days 😂

🤦‍♀️
MilesOfSand · 02/09/2021 05:06

I really am getting confused here I think. The girls are only allowed to wear dresses in the summer, they are not allowed to wear trousers or shorts. But the majority of people are saying that it means the girls have more choice? Really? This isn’t posters being their usual pedantic, having a go because they can online, selves - do you actually believe this is more choice for the girls? Really?

Sirzy · 02/09/2021 05:23

@MilesOfSand

I really am getting confused here I think. The girls are only allowed to wear dresses in the summer, they are not allowed to wear trousers or shorts. But the majority of people are saying that it means the girls have more choice? Really? This isn’t posters being their usual pedantic, having a go because they can online, selves - do you actually believe this is more choice for the girls? Really?
No the girls can wear trousers or shorts.

The girls have exactly the same choice of uniform as the boys but with the addition of a summer dress if they so wish.

So the girls have more choice and freedom in what they wear but OP still isn’t happy!

gofg · 02/09/2021 05:31

I think you are being ridiculous OP.

MilesOfSand · 02/09/2021 05:33

Ok, I misunderstood, now it makes sense!!

Dee1975 · 02/09/2021 05:42

Completely unreasonable op. You are looking for ‘something’ that isn’t there. When your children start work the chances are there will be a dress code. Which will tell them what they can and can’t wear.

Do you take them to any clubs? Swimming? Gym? Dance? I bet they have a dress code there too.

And all of these codes tell them what they can / can’t wear.

AICM · 02/09/2021 06:15

You're twisting this through 180 degrees to fit your own biased and prejudiced agenda.

If boys had an additional item in the summer that made their life more comfortable but girls weren't allowed to wear it you'd start a thread called Misogynistic Uniform.

You're crying wolf. You're making it more difficult women to be believed when there is real misogyny.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 02/09/2021 06:21

@BluebellsGreenbells

It more about little girls arriving in think summer dresses not suited to the weather -

Surely it’s easier for parents to say ‘you’re not allowed’ and dress appropriately than to ‘just let them for a quiet life’

Girls aren’t disadvantaged, they are warm.

I'm of the opinion that DC soon learn whether they're cold or not. One day in a gingham dress in January will teach them, unless they're like my DD 14 who's never cold, and moaned about school making her wear a jumper when the Beast from the East was about.
AllPowerfulLizardPerson · 02/09/2021 06:21

YABU

They have the same options year round.

And one term the girls have even more choice. If anyone's hard done by in these circs, it's the boys who have the fewer options

Goatinthegarden · 02/09/2021 06:38

@CecilyP

It more about little girls arriving in think summer dresses not suited to the weather

Which suggests they think parents are too stupid to dress their girls appropriately for the weather.

There are many parents who do not ensure their children are adequately dressed for school for a whole plethora of reasons.
PurpleOkapi · 02/09/2021 06:43

If I've understood this right, the girls can wear gingham dresses during the summer (only), and the boys can't ever wear gingham dresses. The rules are identical otherwise. If this is unfair to anyone, it's unfair to the boys, because they have one less option than the girls do. Banning girls from ever wearing gingham dresses would resolve your complaint perfectly, but I don't see how that accomplishes anything positive for the girls (though I do think it would be more fair on principle).

CecilyP · 02/09/2021 06:44

The clue is in the name. Summer dresses. Its far too cold for them in the winter.

I doubt OP’s DD will wear them in the winter! We are still in the last 3 weeks of summer! We then have autumn the start of which can be warm. These dresses are also allowed for most of spring despite being called summer dresses.

CecilyP · 02/09/2021 06:53

Or are they saying that dresses are only allowed to be worn on top of normal uniform in the summer? Which is what it looks like repliers have interpreted

I assume that’s the case. OP said the summer term not summer. As it’s been known to snow in April, I doubt they have to wear them for the whole summer term.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/09/2021 06:53

My dd’s uniform policy was the same. They can’t prevent a child from going in a gingham dress in winter as uniforms are unenforceable. That is unless your dd is at private school, in which case this will be a prerequisite.

Dd used to wear her gingham dresses some days in the winter when in KS1. Anything was a win as she had a lot of issues surrounding going to school. My rule was that she wore a long sleeved white fleecy vest underneath and thick tights. The teachers knew I was doing my utmost to just get her to school and had they commented, I would not have been impressed. She was perfectly warm.

Perhaps this would no longer be the case with Covid and ventilation requirements. Being able to sew, I would probably have just lined the skirts on her dresses. I offered to fleece line dd’s cardigans last winter, she’s in secondary. She refused. Grin

CecilyP · 02/09/2021 07:08

As a teacher, I can say that a lot of the time the school needs to step in in ways like this to prevent parents who can't or won't ensure their child is properly prepared for the weather, or other situations, by making blanket rules. It's not unfair, it's how you manage a huge number of children and parents (of varying levels of responsibility) when it will inevitably be the school who is blamed for any non-ideal situation!

Can I ask how? I don’t really see kids who are not properly prepared for the weather. Oddly enough, you don’t see little girls out wearing summer dresses on winter weekends

Meraas · 02/09/2021 07:14

@3Br1tnee

The clue is in the name. Summer dresses. Its far too cold for them in the winter.
Except calls it gingham dress, never summer dress.

I wear dresses in all seasons.

CecilyP · 02/09/2021 07:15

So the girls have more choice and freedom in what they wear but OP still isn’t happy!

She’s allowed to be unhappy. She’s allowed to wish her DD could go back next week, when the forecast is hot, in a summer dress. She would be foolish to attribute her not being allowed to misogyny!

kowari · 02/09/2021 07:16

YABU. Girls and boys can wear the same except that girls have an extra option for the summer term.

CecilyP · 02/09/2021 07:19

Completely unreasonable op. You are looking for ‘something’ that isn’t there. When your children start work the chances are there will be a dress code. Which will tell them what they can and can’t wear.

So? We are talking about little girls. It will be many years before they start work.

Naptimenow · 02/09/2021 07:36

School uniforms are ridiculous- old fashioned nonsense - it’s time for an update.