Are all kids like this?

[PumpkinKlNG]

Do all kids play up for their mums but act like little angels with everyone else? My mum is constantly saying how great they are with her but it couldn’t be further from the truth at home, for example if I brush my dds hair she will scream the place down but if my mum said she did it at her house she will say she say nicely and didn’t have any trouble at all another example dd is out of nappies but doesn’t really use the toilet at home and keeps having accidents but my mum will say she uses the toilet fine at hers and never any issues? Older dd needs constant supervision as she tends to wonder off otherwise when out again apparently that never happens when she’s with my mum, Another one is my son won’t sleep with the light off at home apparently fine at her house?! I could go on all day! But you get the message, aibu to wonder if this is normal?

@5zeds

They’re scared of your mum.

She is undermining you and making you feel awful.

You are questioning your behaviour and despite (presumably) having judged what is the best way to behave to your children you are considering changing how you behave rather than experience her criticism. Your children have already caved under her treatment and are not “themselves” when she is there. Perhaps she makes them feel like shit too? Perhaps you are the “good mother” who’s child can tell her when hair brushing hurts and who can play deeply without constantly worrying that they might need the loo?

Be kind to your children and be kind to yourself. I wouldn’t invite conversations about how you choose to parent from someone who seems to be parenting YOU in a way that doesn’t raise you up but instead shames and belittles.

Good post.

OP, could this be the case too.