to ask for a realistic picture of menopause

[Happy36]

4 months ago I found out I had cancer. I have had treatment and the cancer is now in remission. As a result of treatment, my periods have stopped and I've started to go through menopause (without any peri menopause period). I'm 40.

What can I expect and what can I do to mitigate it?

Anxiety anxiety and more anxiety.
Skin and bits dried out like a prune. Permanently itchy eyes and itching under skin
Thrush
Wet myself
Burning mouth syndrome.

Everyone is different but I've not found it too bad

Migraines
Achy joints
Disturbed sleep
Mood swings (or rage for me)
Cold flushes (who knew?)
Brain fog
Crushing fatigue

I just take magnesium which sorted the migraines and aching, calcium and vitamin d. Eat well and do pilates and yoga

Just to give some balance, I was very lucky.
A few night sweats that barely woke me, and some difficulty with waking too early, but now passed.
Some episodes of dizziness and anxiety and monthly migraine in the run up, which I only now realise were connected.
And on the plus side:
Lost two stone after hormonal cravings ended and ended up with next to no belly fat and balanced hourglass shape (previously a pear) best I've ever looked.
Skin is dryer but managed well with oil (coconut or olive)
Hair and nails in superb condition thanks to vitamin D and B12 supplements, collagen and biotin.
Mood very balanced.
Lots of energy and feel 10 years younger than in peri menopause period.

Oh, on the good side, my migraines have all but disappeared!

Horrific hot flushes, sudden rapid ageing, no time whatsoever for men, they can all bugger off for ever, menopause divorce, utter exhaustion, huge anxiety, the need to be alone and for nobody to bother me in any way weight gain.
Luckily HRT and antidepressants sorted me out but Im not interested in men anymore. I cant be bothered with them and their needs.

Years down the line osteoporosis, vaginal atrophy, incontinence, prolapse etc., all the conditions associated with lack of oestrogen but which you rarely hear talked about start to come into play

I'm nearly 70 and didn't have any of these last time I looked and had 3 pregnancies.

Nothing much tbh, got a bit hot a few times and seem to not feel the cold as much. Apart from that and my periods stopping there is no real change.

@Crikeyalmighty

Oh and complete loss of libido- in fact the idea of sex was suddenly repulsive . I haven’t taken HRT as I felt so shit I didn’t fancy giving up smoking- and was told the two don’t mix

The doctor can’t stop you taking HRT though because you smoke, or didn’t you want it?

I lied to the doctor and said I had cut down on fags because there is no way in hell I’m going to keep suffering like this, I will stop but being unemployed and going thru perimenopause isn’t the time to stop, I am already bored shitless and would prefer to stop when I am back at work.

I've had joint pain
Dry burning mouth
Dizziness
Depression
Anxiety
Itchy skin
Hot flushes
Constant peeing
Mostly resolved by hrt oh and insomnia .

@HateJudgmentalPeople

Is it a definite that you put weight on with HRT?

No I haven't if anything I've lost weight

Prior to HRT I had;

Insomnia
Vaginal dryness and itching
Constant hot flushes
Anxiety/mood swings
Hair changes
Giving no fucks

HRT resolved all of them apart giving no fucks

@FindingMeno

Oh, on the good side, my migraines have all but disappeared!

So did mine once I was out the other side.

I think I have got off lightly compared to many posters.

I had brain fog, much less placid, aching joints, feel a little down, horrendous night sweats and absolutely shattered.

I went on HRT and it saved me! I'm still very tired but everything else lifted. My hair is still in really good nick and I'm trying to lose weight.

I’ve had nothing. Periods stopped and that was it. The odd chin hair. Not having periods means I’m not eating my body weight in chocolate five days a month, so I have lost a bit of weight.

I'm loving not having periods, and my dp and dc love me not having horrendous PMT. Hot flashes, disrupted sleep etc are beyond irritating but experimenting with ways to get those under control. My libido has increased 🙂

Oh god - Chin hair!

Apart from I had irregular periods and when they came they were very heavy. Some very mild hot flushes mainly at night. It's harder to maintain a 'good' weight now and my waist has thickened in proportion to the rest of me. Apart from that no mood swings, no memory loss, no brain fog, no fatigue.

Those of you whose libido dropped, does it return in the end?

Nearing 70 and libido seems to have had a revival!! Though never completely went away. I think it might also be low stress life style (I'm not really on SM).

My menopause triggered cyclical migraines, still an ongoing battle but I was put on Propranolol for 2 years, and have gained two stone. I've now weaned off it and started on an HRT patch a few months ago, my appetite has halved and the weight is falling off, just wanted to say no, in my opinion, HRT doesn't always mean weight gain.
I was taking Menopace & sage to keep the numerous flushes under control & my sleep was not good, but since going on HRT everything has stopped- including the migraine!

Under NICE guidelines anyone under 45 and going through the menopause should be given HRT asap. Under your circumstances you can see a menopause specialist, however these aren't everywhere. HRT will alleviate your symptoms. It will protect your heart, further cancer risk and bones. Taking it early may prevent hair loss.

@MMMarmite, mine has come back after five years. When my lifestyle is better, it increases.

I am only just 40 so I’ve just been told I’m only getting the patches for now, this is wrong isn’t it?

@Ponoka7

Under NICE guidelines anyone under 45 and going through the menopause should be given HRT asap. Under your circumstances you can see a menopause specialist, however these aren't everywhere. HRT will alleviate your symptoms. It will protect your heart, further cancer risk and bones. Taking it early may prevent hair loss.

@MMMarmite, mine has come back after five years. When my lifestyle is better, it increases.

OP hasn’t said what type of cancer they had.

Absolutely no physical symptoms but massive brain fog and spells of existential angst.

Doctor is blaming my low mood on me coming down from methadone but I know that’s crap because so many of us on MN are experiencing low moods and I don’t believe you are all on methadone! It’s infuriating

@HateJudgmentalPeople why are you against the idea of patches? They are the preferred method of delivering hrt safely ( though the gel is fantastic).

Your situation sounds quite complex but it’s a good thing if your GP is looking out for you.