AIBU to feel like my mother is trying to take away my role as mum

[PlanetTeaTime]

Every time I do something with my baby in front of my mother, she copies me

I really feel like she is trying to be mum to my child.

When I was pregnant she went on about how she really wanted to have a close relationship with my child and I felt very much during the pregnancy like she didn't care about how I was feeling but only about my baby

I feel that a lot now too tbh

I would go as far as to say she's obsessed. I feel like she undermines me and my choices as well.

Is this normal?? Do other people's mums get like this about grandchildren?

It does sound annoying but everyone (no offence meant here) I think reacts slightly more strongly when a first new baby arrives. Step back a bit, spend slightly less time together and allow adjustment time for everyone but I wouldn't go in for a potentially hurtful conversation. Don't blow your future childcare or pave the way for more awkwardness! Honestly, and I'm aware it sounds patronising, some things I felt furious about with new first born seem minor in retrospect. It's not gaslighting to say that, it's just true.

From your examples I would say she is doing this because you have told her something that works, something that baby enjoys. If she just did her own thing would you then be complaining that she wasn't listening to you?
I honestly think that on this forum GPS can't do right at all. Do their own thing and they are told if you want a relationship with your grandchildren do as you are told. If they do what the parent does they are trying to pretend they are Mum.
If you thought she was a good Mum growing up then most likely she was, but every generation does things differently. Your child will bring their children up differently to how you do. It won't make you a bad parent, its just how things change over time

I could have written this post myself :-(
Am going through the same, copying, calling herself “mummy”, criticising everything I do and telling me she knows better.