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Original poster

Would you ask him to get a PCR?

61 replies

Sparklfairy · 31/08/2021 15:31

Awkward one and I'm not sure what to do. I've been on a few dates with a man, and we had loosely suggested going to a restaurant on Thursday.

Over the weekend he came down with 'a cold'. Headache, stuffed up nose, sore throat etc. He was very quick to say 'it's not Covid' as he had taken a number of LFTs which he has to do for work anyway.

Keeping the conversation light, I suggested that Delta can present differently and also LFTs are possibly more unreliable when you have 'symptoms'. When I say 'light', I mean it's really none of my business so wasn't going on or anything, it was just chat.

He made noises that he 'might' get a PCR then. He has a family get together tomorrow and afaik he's going and hasn't taken one yet.

If he does want to go ahead on Thursday, it's not my place to ask him to get a PCR first. But I feel awkward cancelling too. Whilst it might not be Covid, I am a terrible ill person, live alone and am self employed so will easily be drawn to netflix if I get so much as a headache Grin but obviously would impact my income and practicalities involving isolation.

I'm a little surprised, as he seems generally sensible, but obviously I don't know him at all, and if he goes to the family party without a test I think that's a little irresponsible. I'm not Covid anxious, I just think if it were me, it's a small thing to take the precaution of a test so at least you know either way.

So in anticipation of us discussing dinner on Thursday, what would you say, or not say?

OP posts:
FelicityBob · 31/08/2021 20:14

After your update, I’d LTB

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 31/08/2021 20:15

That's just how Covid seems to start now, classic cold symptoms so yes he needs to get a PCR.

Abraxan · 31/08/2021 20:16

@itsgrand

according to the present testing guidelines he woudn't be considered to have the symptoms listed to do a pcr test.
It's incredibly easy to get a PCR test now and the demand isn't outstripping supply in most areas.

It makes sense to check with pcr is you have the kind of symptoms listed for Delta variant.

JingleTangle · 31/08/2021 20:16

I'd cancel. It will spoil the date anyway wouldn't it. Just tell hin something came up at work.

HailAdrian · 31/08/2021 20:17

He doesn't have any of the three 'symptoms' that require a PCR, unless I've missed something? As pp, can't be running off for PCR tests every time you get a runny nose.

coconutmonkey · 31/08/2021 20:20

People feeling sorry for themselves with symptoms the same as a light cold and a headache? Sorry, but what?! Since when did people have the time to sit around feeling woeful because they have a light cold. We used to just get on with it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/08/2021 20:25

Tech he didn’t have any of the 3 main Symptoms to get a test

Had sniffles

So he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

But your update now a temp yes he should get a pcr

HailAdrian · 31/08/2021 20:29

What are you all going to do when testing isn't a thing anymore and you get colds!?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 31/08/2021 20:31

What are you all going to do when testing isn't a thing anymore and you get colds!?

Well , no one will test ,will they? That isn't the case now though and no one can tell of it's a cold or Covid as symptoms of the new variant can be identical.

HailAdrian · 31/08/2021 20:34

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

What are you all going to do when testing isn't a thing anymore and you get colds!?

Well , no one will test ,will they? That isn't the case now though and no one can tell of it's a cold or Covid as symptoms of the new variant can be identical.

So you actually think people should get a pcr test every time they have cold symptoms? Oh dear.
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 31/08/2021 20:38

So you actually think people should get a pcr test every time they have cold symptoms? Oh dear

Ahhhh, sorry, my mistake , I didn't realise you can tell the difference without a test. Magic powers ? Smile

I wouldn't be dating anyone with cold symptoms at the moment. Wait until he's better or he can get a test. No biggie. I imagine you like rolling your eyes at perfectly sensible suggestions .

Londontown12 · 31/08/2021 20:43

Daughter kept saying she just had a cold !! I made her have pcr and it came back positive !! Then her boyfriend and all his family has it !! So she stayed there for 10 days ! Just say u have symptoms they don’t know either way !!’ X

Thethreecs · 31/08/2021 20:54

He sounds irresponsible. I'd be cancelling and wondering if I could be with someone who doesn't care about the health of others.

My sister and her family all currently have covid. Started with the eldest having cold like symptoms so they didn't think covid, all kept doing LFTs and everyone negative. Then my sister got cold like symptoms 3 days after the eldest, she told her job, she was told to do another LFT, it was negative, she was told to come in. Long story short they are all laid up in bed right now as the LFTs were wrong, the cold like symptoms lasted a few days before the the big symptoms kicked in. So not only did they unwittingly mix with people thinking it was a cold but my sister may have infected her whole office.

It's just not worth it. For the sake of a proper test so many other people can be kept safe. You just don't know who your spreading it to, who has underlying conditions. My sister who is never ill and rarely takes medications is dragging herself across the floor on all fours just to get to the bathroom, her bed is constantly wet from sweat, her chest feels like a bus is constantly running over it and she's coughing up green phlegm. And this all started with a runny nose.

Sinthie · 31/08/2021 20:57

My “mild” covid started as a tickly throat and runny nose. 5 weeks later I’m just about feeling normal. He should get a test and isolate until a result.

Aprilx · 31/08/2021 20:59

He had cold symptoms, not covid symptoms.

I bet people won’t be quite as quick to get a PCR test for every sneeze and sniffle if they stop being free (which I presume will be the case at some point).

Panicmode1 · 31/08/2021 21:07

Two of my family have tested positive (without any symptoms) following multiple negative LFTs. Eldest son came back from his DoE with slight sore throat and light cold symptoms so we did LFTs for 2 or 3 days. He subsequently tested positive hence us all doing PCRs and they picked up 2 asymptomatic cases.

Get him to test, and don't meet him until he's better.

DecadentlyDecisive · 31/08/2021 21:08

I'd think you were weird if you kept pushing it personally.

If work and family are happy with him testing negative on LFT's, not sure why you wouldn't be.

If you don't want to see him, don't.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 31/08/2021 21:09

It's just not worth it. For the sake of a proper test so many other people can be kept safe.

This is my thinking. It's so quick and easy to get a test, just to be sure, before this party. If he was just going to be at home anyway I might let his thinking slide, but knowing he's going to be mixing with his whole family (for a birthday) - why wouldn't you just test?

The cynic in me thinks by avoiding the test he can convince himself it's not Covid, because if it was positive it would fuck up his plans and be a PITA to isolate. You know, like everyone else has had to deal with when it happens.

I'll be making my excuses re Thursday anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparklfairy · 31/08/2021 21:11

@DecadentlyDecisive I haven't and won't push it at all. All I said was, 'haha, I hate to tell you this but apparently LFTs aren't as accurate when you're showing 'symptoms' - you might wanna get a PCR before the party'. I haven't said anything else.

He's on AL this week so work doesn't apply, and what his family do (if indeed they know?) is up to them.

OP posts:
worriedatthemoment · 31/08/2021 21:15

@Lucyccfc68 advised by who ?

Kite22 · 31/08/2021 21:38

Thing is, you don't want to be "ill".

Well, if he has a cold, he is likely to be infectious and quite possibly you will end up being ill.
I had a cold recently and it really laid me low for a week.

Whether it is Covid or a cold, if you don't want to risk getting it, then just don't go for dinner with him until he is a lot better.

Lucyccfc68 · 31/08/2021 22:05

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Lucyccfc68 advised by who ? [/quote]
Advised by a Doctor when I explained my DS had - Headache, runny nose, sneezing, sore throat. (I have Bupa cover and got an online appointment). I had all those symptoms including loss of smell.

They are apparently the key symptoms of the delta variant.

Those symptoms obviously can just be a bad (common) cold.

MargaretMorris · 31/08/2021 22:20

@Aprilx symptoms vary. My colleague currently has covid and his only symptoms are cold symptoms.

insatiableme · 31/08/2021 23:36

My child had Covid very recently done lft and all came back negative. Done a pcr and it was positive. Symptoms just like a cold. I honestly don't get why people are not doing pcr tests when they have these symptoms.

Original poster
Sparklfairy · 01/09/2021 11:37

Just an update. He mentioned dinner tomorrow and I just said I didn't want to catch whatever he had. I also used the excuse that I'm going to stay at DM's in a few days for her birthday, and don't want to have to isolate or pass it to her.

He booked a PCR straight away (no prompting from me) saying 'better to be safe Hmm' for today.

After reading some of these replies I'm really curious to know the result.

OP posts: