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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I should be allowed to teach DS to drive?

49 replies

WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 14:42

I have held a full driving license since 1994. In May 2018 I surrendered it voluntarily
after a seizure out of the blue. After being diagnosed with epilepsy but only seizures from sleep, I applied for the return of my licence, satisfied all the criteria and my licence was returned October 2020.

So I have over 25 years driving experience and I now have a motability car which is fully insured for myself and learner drivers/under 25s etc.

Yet I cannot supervise my DC learning to drive as I haven't held my current licence for three years Hmm

Is it me or is this really annoying, especially the cost of driving lessons being so horrific? DS would of course have a course of lessons from a proper professional before I supervised him myself, but I would have liked to have been able to take him for practice.

I'm actually really fucked off about it, losing my license in the first place was a huge change for me and I lost so much independence. Now I have it back but I'm still being penalised for something that isn't my fault and doesn't seem to have any common sense behind it. I surrendered my licence voluntarily, it wasn't revoked and I am cleared as fit to drive. I have been driving since 1994 with never as much as a speeding ticket but yet I can't teach my DCs to drive because of this stupid restriction.

AIBU to be frustrated by this?

(I'm really hoping someone will come and say DVLA have given me wrong information here!)

OP posts:
Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 14:46

And when I got my motability car (which isn't free, I pay for it via PIP) I deliberately chose a boring small car which could be driven by under 25s rather than the nice fast one I actually wanted Hmm

OP posts:
Rollercoaster1920 · 31/08/2021 14:48

Or - you dodged a bullet there!

Do the basics (clutch control, reversing etc) in a quiet private car park out of hours, then let the driving instructor do what they get the danger money for.

Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 14:55

But I don't want to pay an instructor lots of extra money to supervise DS practising to drive (I'll pay for the initial lessons as it will be less stressful if a professional starts him off).

I can't do the basics in a quiet car park as I'm not allowed - that's the point.

OP posts:
Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 14:56

And even more annoyingly we live very near a huge retail park with a giant car park deserted overnight and ideal for practice.

OP posts:
TheRebelle · 31/08/2021 15:04

Not the point of the thread I know, but what is the advantage of surrendering your licence over just not driving?

icedcoffees · 31/08/2021 15:10

Did you have to re-take your test? If not, that makes no sense!

Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 15:11

You have to inform the DVLA you aren't allowed to drive - if you voluntarily surrender it, when you apply for reinstatement, sometimes you are allowed to start driving again whilst they assess the application.

If it's revoked by the DVLA instead of you telling them - you have to wait until your assessment is completed and licence received back.

(I wasn't actually allowed to drive until it was assessed and I received my physical licence anyway, but I wanted to do the right thing).

OP posts:
Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 15:13

@icedcoffees

Did you have to re-take your test? If not, that makes no sense!
No! I just had to complete forms and they contacted my consultant who confirmed the type of seizures etc.

No re-test - just medically fit to drive and therefore legally fit to drive. But not fit to teach my DS as I had 2.5 years of not driving in over 25 years Hmm

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 31/08/2021 15:17

In the last 3 years you've only been driving for about 10 months? I think it's right that you can't supervise a learner.

It doesn't matter than you surrendered your licence rather than it being revoked.
That's a lot of time to be out of touch with driving yourself, let alone to be then supervising someone else. Otherwise, why not let everyone who's ever held a licence
supervise a learner?

Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 15:17

And even more ironically, DH is legally fine to supervise as has held a licence for long enough - but he doesn't want to as he knows he doesn't have the patience (or the time!) and it would be counter productive. So we are all trying to do the "right thing" but are being frustrated by a lack of common sense in the rules

OP posts:
Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 15:20

@girlmom21

In the last 3 years you've only been driving for about 10 months? I think it's right that you can't supervise a learner.

It doesn't matter than you surrendered your licence rather than it being revoked.
That's a lot of time to be out of touch with driving yourself, let alone to be then supervising someone else. Otherwise, why not let everyone who's ever held a licence
supervise a learner?

Well, the 24 years of interrupted driving prior to having the break gave me a pretty good level of competence...I haven't forgotten any of the rules etc! I have epilepsy but it doesn't affect my driving and it wasn't deemed necessary for me to have a re-test - I was just allowed my licence back.
OP posts:
TillyTopper · 31/08/2021 15:21

Have you managed to speak to the DVLA? Their current guidance is here but it doesn't say you've need your current license more than 3 years (just you must of held your license for longer than 3 years).

Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 15:22

I would much prefer a driving instructor who had over 25 years driving experience but hadn't driven for two years (maybe because she lived abroad recently) to an instructor who passed their test in 2018!

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 31/08/2021 15:25

Couldn’t your DH sit in the back if he’s is legally allowed to supervise and you do the actual teaching DS in the front?

Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 15:25

@TillyTopper yes I have spoken to DVLA (who seem well practised in driving people round the fucking bend Grin)

This is the small print. It has to have been a current licence for over 3 years.

AIBU to think I should be allowed to teach DS to drive?
OP posts:
FlumpsAreShit · 31/08/2021 15:26

It doesn't make sense to me. So someone could hold their licence, but not have a car/have driven lately, and supervise but you can't. I think you're right, it doesn't make much sense. It's probably just a blanket rule that's easier to police unfortunately.

DuckDuckGooses · 31/08/2021 15:26

I don't think learners should be taught by family really - you've probably picked up bad habits etc in your many years of driving. I know since I passed 18months ago I've definitely picked up a habit or two my instructor wouldn't have been happy with. Instructors aren't just anybody with 3 years of experience and a license, they have training and proper teaching experience too! It is expensive to have lessons, but worth it to know he's learnt from a professional and is well taught surely?

Original poster
WellThisIsAnnoyingFFS · 31/08/2021 15:27

Oh that's never occurred to me @BrieAndChilli! I wonder if this would be OK. I can imagine DH's feet being pressed to the floor every 5 seconds though whilst he makes squeaking noises...

OP posts:
Elieza · 31/08/2021 15:31

Honestly, I can see your point.

however I know myself it’s that long since I passed my test that I couldn’t do a learner justice. I’ve picked up many bad habits. I couldn’t tell you what gear you are supposed to pull up to traffic lights in. How long it’s acceptable to use the brake as opposed to handbrake and neutral gear. Whether a lifesaver look over the left shoulder in a car is acceptable. Whether changing down to 3rd while going past a green traffic light just in case it changes is a thing. Feeding the steering wheel through your hands at every bloody corner.

It’s honestly way better to get him driving lessons.

I’m the event something went wrong and he crashed then your car, which you rely on as you are disabled, is out of action. Why risk it?

I know it’s expensive to get lessons but you know he’s in good hands.

icedcoffees · 31/08/2021 15:32

@BrieAndChilli

Couldn’t your DH sit in the back if he’s is legally allowed to supervise and you do the actual teaching DS in the front?
I think to supervise a learner you need to be sitting in the passenger seat.
girlmom21 · 31/08/2021 15:33

I haven't forgotten any of the rules

A lot of the rules will have changed since you passed your test so that's not really a decision maker.

Can you honestly say there has been no instance in the past 10 months where you haven't made a driving error you wouldn't have made if you hadn't missed those 18 months of driving?

I'm obviously not saying that some people won't still make those errors anyway, but would you say you're as competent currently as you were before your break?

MoiraNotRuby · 31/08/2021 15:36

When you got your licence back was it the same number? I think you do meet the requirements. They don't mean the physical card do they, they mean you the person has to have been licensed to drive for at least 3 years. Which you have been.

Everyone renews their licence every 10 years but its not a new licence is it...

pussycatlickinglollyices · 31/08/2021 15:36

@Rollercoaster1920

Or - you dodged a bullet there!

Do the basics (clutch control, reversing etc) in a quiet private car park out of hours, then let the driving instructor do what they get the danger money for.

^This is what my dad did. It then took me 8 professional lessons to pass first time.

In all seriousness OP, some of my friends had massive arguments with their DP due to driving lessons, one of which never really recovered their past closeness.

Explain/demo the basics in an empty car park then let the professionals take the strain.

Cuddlyrottweiler · 31/08/2021 15:36

I really don't think people should be able to teach others to drive just because they can drive tbh. I think you should have to learn from a qualified instructor.

But I see your point. But then they can't do it case by case. You could have lost your licence for dangerous driving, it would be silly to entrust a person like that to teach someone to drive straight away (or at all, but thats back to my first point)

HarrietsChariot · 31/08/2021 15:37

@BrieAndChilli

Couldn’t your DH sit in the back if he’s is legally allowed to supervise and you do the actual teaching DS in the front?
Please don't try this, your DH could potentially lose his licence!

The supervising driver is deemed to be in control of the vehicle. He cannot exercise proper control from the back seat. Suppose the learner has a seizure, the supervisor would need to take control of the steering. It would be difficult to do this from the rear seat without taking his seatbelt off.