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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Covid Test for guests?

87 replies

SturminsterNewton · 31/08/2021 09:42

I have a couple of guests for the weekend at the end of September. They are staying with other people before they reach me and also have a wider social/family life than I. I live alone and WFH, so have been quite sheltered since Covid.

AIBU to ask them to do a test before they set off to me, or is that just being over-anxious (and rather inhospitable)?

OP posts:
GoWalkabout · 31/08/2021 10:27

Rates are high at the moment and this is reasonable I think, if only to avoid having to isolate if you get it. I would ring and say 'you're my first recent guests, I thought I would check with you our mutual approach to reducing risks - once you are here I am looking forward to a hug and spending time with you, I wonder if you would please let me know in advance if you have any symptoms of illness and I would prefer to postpone if that was the case, and I wonder if you would be able to take an LFt test before you leave? Does that sound OK? '

Original poster
SturminsterNewton · 31/08/2021 10:31

@SoupDragon

is that just being over-anxious

I think it is but it is perfectly understandable. It's going to take time for everyone to get used to "normal" life again and everyone is going to get there at different speeds.

That's very true. I'm not by nature a valetudinarian, but it's like I've forgotten what normal is after months of washing shopping, masks etc! I just haven't got back up to speed yet.
OP posts:
rookiemere · 31/08/2021 10:34

I think @thebeatingofthedrums has it right. We have had a number of visitors and it wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask them to do a test as my assumption is that if they're comfortable traveling and staying at another house they - and I - are happy to run that risk.

Maybe you need to suggest postponing until case rates are lower and you can enjoy their visit properly.

TwoLeftElbows · 31/08/2021 10:37

I think it's fine to ask, assuming you are also planning to do one yourself, and I'd lead with that as others have suggested.

Also have a think about what you'd do if they say no.

MrsSkylerWhite · 31/08/2021 10:40

Maybe you need to suggest postponing until case rates are lower and you can enjoy their visit properly.“

How does a painless test that takes less than a minute to conduct and 30 mins for the result to appear, taken before you all get together, prevent anyone from enjoying a visit?

Seriously, it’s no big deal.

sunflowerdaisies · 31/08/2021 10:41

I'd be fine with it, we (including primary children) test regularly anyway as part of the ONS survey.

To be honest, those who would refuse, I'm not sure I'd want to visit me anyway!

rookiemere · 31/08/2021 11:15

@MrsSkylerWhite because wanting a test is indicative of being concerned about catching covid and the test only proves you don't have covid ( or may not as LFT not brilliant) at point of testing.

I took a LFT on Saturday before dropping in on my elderly DPs on Sunday. I started getting some symptoms yesterday afternoon, still testing negative on LFT so off to get a PCR test in a few minutes. Fingers crossed I'm negative as I'd feel awful to have potentially infected my DPs.

We regard vaccinations, masks and LFT tests as magic talismans, and when case rates are high sure they're a mitigation but can't fully prevent someone spreading covid.

Hbs21 · 31/08/2021 13:47

I don't think it's unreasonable at all. I ask everyone who comes round to do one first and no one has been upset with that. If they don't want to test they don't have to come! It's not about being unwelcoming it's just taking a precaution.

PurpleDaisies · 31/08/2021 13:50

The people who won’t mind doing won’t will probably just do one anyway without you needing to ask.

Sciurus83 · 31/08/2021 13:53

I'd be completely fine with this, testing regularly anyway due to pregnancy and toddler at nursery. It's really not a big deal, anyone refusing would get a pretty big eye roll from me!

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/09/2021 20:51

rookiemere

@MrsSkylerWhite because wanting a test is indicative of being concerned about catching covid and the test only proves you don't have covid ( or may not as LFT not brilliant) at point of testing.

I took a LFT on Saturday before dropping in on my elderly DPs on Sunday. I started getting some symptoms yesterday afternoon, still testing negative on LFT so off to get a PCR test in a few minutes. Fingers crossed I'm negative as I'd feel awful to have potentially infected my DPs.

We regard vaccinations, masks and LFT tests as magic talismans, and when case rates are high sure they're a mitigation but can't fully prevent someone spreading covid“

So you’d rather not take a LFT at all? Surely better than nothing?

If you have CEV loved ones, you need to continue with mask and social distancing even if the LFT is negative.

Surely everyone knows that they can’t be relied upon but are just another tool? Vaccinations can’t be relied upon, either, fantastic though they undoubtedly are for the vast majority.

If your loved ones are that vulnerable, you need to exercise extreme caution regardless.

Karlee30 · 01/09/2021 20:59

I would. It's your house, so your rules and if it will make you feel better. Why not? Considering how high covid is in some parts of the country YANBU.

Lostmarbles2021 · 01/09/2021 21:09

We always check with guests. We say something like: where are you at with the whole Covid thing now? We know the restrictions have more or less been lifted but thought we should check in with you and see how you want to do things. Friends/we have been visiting/staying/meeting like normal but doing an LFT beforehand to be extra safe. What do you think? I/we would be happy with LFT and being normal but what do you want? We can stay 2m, use masks, keep windows open etc too if you like. Are you doing hugs or elbow bumps. We/I prefer...etc.

So far all of our house guests wanted to do LFTs so we could just be relaxed and normal. They are not 100% but better than nothing.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 01/09/2021 21:10

I think it's really sensible and while not 100% reliable it's better than nothing. My group of friends do this anyway, we don't need to ask each other. Just common sense now.

Chloemol · 01/09/2021 21:12

Wouldn’t bother me, in fact I will be taking one before I go to a friends in a couple of weeks, they are now supposed to be 99.9% accurate now

luckylavender · 01/09/2021 21:13

@SmidgenofaPigeon - totally dickish response

Datsandcogs · 01/09/2021 21:17

@GreatEelRun

If you said to me something like "I will be taking a test before you come to make sure I am covid free and would appreciate if you did the same", then I would be OK with it.

If you just sent me a note asking me to test I would think you a bit rude and I'd skip the visit.

This!

Offer to test and ask them to do the same.

Gotmyhoops · 01/09/2021 21:18

I have been asked to before visiting friends this weekend and it’s not a problem for me to do, takes five minutes and seems sensible.

WaterBottle123 · 01/09/2021 21:25

Depends how much you like adding to single use plastic in the ocean really.

Those tests don't work.

DocAutumn · 01/09/2021 21:26

It's a bit like saying you are anxious about catching something from them. That's fair enough but I would not stay with someone who was clearly anxious about my coming so I would cancel if I were them.

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/09/2021 21:32

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

I think it's really sensible and while not 100% reliable it's better than nothing. My group of friends do this anyway, we don't need to ask each other. Just common sense now.“

You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Our son is starting university in about 4 weeks. We’re all fully vaxxed but his dad is CEV with a rare genetic condition, life threatening each episode.
We went to look at his accommodation today. On the way home I took a few deep breaths before saying “sorry darling, but you’ll need to LFT before you come home”
His reply? “Well yes … der”
If he gets it at just about 18, I’m surprised so many adults seem almost personally offended at the idea.

Futurecatmum2 · 01/09/2021 21:37

YANBU at all - it’s the sensible thing to do anyway, surely? Massive raised eyebrow at anyone who thinks it is in any way an unreasonable request… honestly, what kind of utter weirdo would take offence at being asked to do this?! Confused

PaperDolphin · 01/09/2021 21:37

How long will you feel the need to request this from visitors out of interest? Will you still be worried about it in 6 months, 2 years, 10 years? I am genuinely asking out of interest as obviously Covid isn't going to disappear and we will all probably get it several times in our lifetimes so how long are people planning on trying to avoid it? Just curious if people will still be asking friends to test in years to come, will it be something that gets passed down generations, will our kids ask each other to test for viruses before visiting someone's house?

HangingChads · 01/09/2021 21:38

This would really annoy me! I will take responsibility for my testing/health. You're being over the top by trying to manage other people's behaviour in this way.

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/09/2021 21:40

HangingChads

This would really annoy me! I will take responsibility for my testing/health. You're being over the top by trying to manage other people's behaviour in this way.“

Do you have CEV loved ones in your home?