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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask my Dad to take my baby for the day

34 replies

GrewUp · 31/08/2021 07:12

Because I just can't cope with him 😭 I don't know how people manage this. I am so tired. He hasn't slept properly for days now, I feel like a walking zombie.

I just want to get into bed all day and not be clawed at or whinged at or needed.

I feel like I should be able to just get on with it but instead I want to ring my Dad this morning and ask him to just come and get him for the day because I can't do another one on no sleep.

(My husband is working away so no way he can help right now).

OP posts:
MinesAPintOfTea · 31/08/2021 07:14

Ring your dad. And tell him you are really struggling and need help. I hope he is able to come and help you out today

It gets easier, honestly.

pumpkinpie01 · 31/08/2021 07:14

No sleep is like torture, if your dad can help then yes ask him . It's good to recharge your batteries

sittingonacornflake · 31/08/2021 07:15

Absolutely ask for help!! Hope you get some and get some rest.

KatieKat88 · 31/08/2021 07:15

My dad would be here like a shot if I were really struggling and he was able to help. I'd do the same for my DD. Please ask him.

HeddaGarbled · 31/08/2021 07:15

Will your dad be able to cope for a whole day?

MiddleParking · 31/08/2021 07:15

Bless you, how old is he? If your dad would be receptive I totally would. My parents have done this for me loads of times.

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 31/08/2021 07:16

Ask for the help x

Wynston · 31/08/2021 07:16

Oh op its incredibly hard. Yes of course you should ask for help why wouldn't you??
How old is baby??

Youvegotafriendinme · 31/08/2021 07:16

Please ask your dad. No weakness in seeking help when you really need it. I hope you get the rest you need

Amdone123 · 31/08/2021 07:17

Yes, ask your dad. My ds is 32 and I still remember feeling like this. I thank god I had my parents.

londonrach · 31/08/2021 07:17

Ask for help op. I'm sure your dad be happy to take baby in this situation. If not can a friend take baby. We between our mum friends did this for a friend, on a rota so she slept. No sleep is awful. X

notwhyicamehere · 31/08/2021 07:18

You're not being unreasonable of course.
It takes a lot of time and patience and help to raise a baby- and when it all gets on top of you the best thing is to ask for help, sleep, shower, eat and whatever you need to do to reset and start the next day fresh- a rested happy mummy is a good mummy.
Will your dad take him for the day or even a few hours for you to rest?

WhyOhWhyOhWhyyyy · 31/08/2021 07:19

Yes, ask for help if you need it, of course. I imagine you would feel much better with even just a few hours rest to yourself.
How old is baby? Is he able to take a bottle?

buckeejit · 31/08/2021 07:22

Yanbu! He will likely be happy to help & I hope you get some rest. Everything will seem better if you do Thanks

BabyLeaf · 31/08/2021 07:23

How old is baby?

Absolutely YANBU to ask for help!

But in the long run if your baby isn’t sleeping and you’re not coping well with that (many don’t!) you could look into sleep training once they’re six months or above. Life changing. Happy to link you to some Facebook groups for support if you like. You can only cope for so long on poor sleep.

Original poster
GrewUp · 31/08/2021 07:38

Thank you! He's unfortunately busy today doing something he can't get out of, he was quite upset actually that he couldn't help me today. But he's coming tomorrow at 8 to collect DS so just one more day to get through!

Son is 6 months old. I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous but I feel too exhausted to contemplate sleep training which is stupid as it sounds like it would help me sleep more in the long run?! I just can't bring myself to start it, right now I'd literally do anything for even an hour's sleep even if it means DS co sleeping with me.

The thought of even a few nights of no sleep doing sleep training fills me with dread. Hopefully if I'm more rested I might be able to start giving it a go. If you have any useful links I'll definitely take a look though. It all looks so daunting when I've googled it.

I feel like so many other people look so put together with their babies. I've not stepped out of my pyjamas or washed my hair for days. I joined the gym the last time I had a good night's sleep a few weeks ago to get back into shape and I've mustered the energy to go once 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 31/08/2021 07:54

It gets easier op.
Don't worry about what other people may look like,they will have their own troubles to be sure.
Get as much rest as you can today and look forward to tomorrow💐🌈

Cap89 · 31/08/2021 07:54

Just a quick note on the sleep training… it changed our lives. I know it’s not for everyone, and there’s a whole load of methods out there, but we did Ferber’s controlled crying method and while it was rough letting him cry, we genuinely went from him co sleeping, feeding to sleep and waking hourly (I was at the end of my tether like you!!!) to him sleeping through in 2 nights. He has been a pretty consistently brilliant sleeper since (now 20 months). You might want to wait for your partner to be back for moral support, and it might take a bit longer than 2 days for you, but it certainly shouldn’t lead to less sleep in my experience so don’t let that put you off.

And for those who think it’s unkind to let baby cry (not “cry it out” to be clear- we checked on him at frequent intervals), I personally think it was much better to help him learn to sleep. He is a well rested, happy baby, who naps well too. And as parents, we are happier, enjoy being parents and are definitely more equipped to take good care of our child now that we are well rested. That was worth a few nights of tears for us.

I hope today is ok, and thank goodness for lovely dads! Enjoy your rest tomorrow :)

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/08/2021 07:57

I wouldnt tackle sleep training yet - you need to be stronger emotionally and less tired. It would be a waste of time.

Glad your dad is able to take ds for the day.

Can you speak to dh about arranging some regular paid childcare? When is he home?

londonrach · 31/08/2021 07:57

Op...you doing so well. The mums you see out get out as it's taken them hours to get out and they going mad in the house. Being in pjs is vvv normal mum clothing. Once you get some sleep things will I promise you look alot better. I don't think there's a single mum on here who not felt like you are now. X

londonrach · 31/08/2021 07:59

Forgot to add it does get easier...try and rest today. Just one more day then you can sleep for a day x

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/08/2021 08:01

Don’t judge yourself harshly. The amount of sleep we get determines so much. Really glad your dad can help out. I would happily take a baby for a few hours, enough for mum to nap, for any of my friends.

Planty13 · 31/08/2021 08:01

YANBU. MIL did this for us AND I had OH around. It’s exhausting and if family are happy to help then that’s great all round!

RealBecca · 31/08/2021 08:03

Poor you, that phase is hard and without dad on hand i think you are doing brilliantly.

Perhaps have a word with your healthvisitor about safe sleeping and ask for support.

People sometimes make out like cosleeping is a wonderful hippie choice but the reality is often that people are pushed to the absolute limit before considering it.

I think the lullably trust had some useful info x

Roselilly36 · 31/08/2021 08:03

Pleased your dad can help tomorrow OP, handhold, I can remember those days well with my own DS’. MIL was an absolute angel and really helped us, when ours were little. Hoping you get a better night tonight Flowers it does get better.

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