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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there must be more to life than this?

38 replies

Thatisntaquestion · 30/08/2021 20:41

I don't know whether I'm just experiencing the holiday blues but I'm just questioning my life.

We had such an amazing time in the countryside. In our 'real life' we live in northern suburbia, the same monotonous routine everyday. DH dislikes his job, 8 year old DS hates school and finds it stressful (even though his school report says he is exceeding expectations), 6 year old DD is waiting for a place at a special school, which looks like it could frankly take years.

The change in our life, even for that one week was just incredible. Am I being unreasonable to think that there must be more to life than this? I'd love to just pack our suitcases and go travelling for 6 months....(pandemic allowing, obviously) Show my children that there is an enormous world out there, full of opportunities. Other people's opinions are holding me back I suppose - i am a people pleaser.

OP posts:
Hadenoughofthisbullshit · 30/08/2021 20:44

We had such an amazing time in the countryside. was this a holiday or something? Can you elaborate?

Original poster
Thatisntaquestion · 30/08/2021 20:45

Yes, sorry, it was a one week holiday. Blush

OP posts:
SunbathingDragon · 30/08/2021 20:46

Is moving to the countryside an option?

PurBal · 30/08/2021 20:48

Why don’t you go travelling for 6 months? (Pandemic allowing). Sounds like great fun. A colleague took a 3 month sabbatical (with her children) to New Zealand and it was great.

5128gap · 30/08/2021 20:49

Is travelling an option for you? If it is I'd grab it with both hands. Ideal time to do it at your children's ages. We only get one go round.

crimsonlake · 30/08/2021 20:49

I should think you will have the same monotonous routine wherever you live. Are there any changes you could make to your life where you currently live?

Original poster
Thatisntaquestion · 30/08/2021 20:50

@PurBal I don't know what's stopping me. I dream of doing this. I guess it's just the judgement from other people. I know they actually probably wouldn't care...

OP posts:
Original poster
Thatisntaquestion · 30/08/2021 20:52

@5128gap It's defintely an option financially. Not sure how it would work with DH's work. How does a sabbatical work?

OP posts:
almostautumn · 30/08/2021 20:55

Wouldn’t you have a monotonous routine wherever you lived though OP? A tedious commute, schooling for the kids etc. Things often seem wonderful on holiday because you’re not in your usual boring routine and the drudgery of housework, life admin and all those things is lessened.

MrsRobbieHart · 30/08/2021 20:56

Do it. Go travelling. Your DC are the perfect age for it.

Lemonnhoney · 30/08/2021 21:00

If you can do it financially do it!! The thing which would stop me if is my children missing out on friendships at school and family relationships but if they say they aren’t happy at school then go for it!

It will benefit you all!

godmum56 · 30/08/2021 21:20

you and DH could at least investigate it........ at 6 and 8 its the perfect age for the children.

6fingerkitkat · 30/08/2021 21:24

Don't want to be a Debbie downer but....

It was incredible BECAUSE it was a holiday.

You up and leave to move to that same or similar spot the challenges are the same. School is a necessity for both kids, work is a necessity

Grass is not always greener.

PHBs. Post holiday blues. Common and passes!

6fingerkitkat · 30/08/2021 21:25

I once started application to move to Canada after a lovely holiday there convinced me life would be better living so far away.

Not sure what I was thinking !

MrsRobbieHart · 30/08/2021 21:28

@almostautumn

Wouldn’t you have a monotonous routine wherever you lived though OP? A tedious commute, schooling for the kids etc. Things often seem wonderful on holiday because you’re not in your usual boring routine and the drudgery of housework, life admin and all those things is lessened.
OP is only talking about travelling for 6 months. Not moving.
Popetthetreehugger · 30/08/2021 21:28

When I was getting divorced, my son , then 12 disengaged with school , we backpacked around Cambodia for a month … life changing … do it do it do it !! 🙌😎

MrsRobbieHart · 30/08/2021 21:28

@6fingerkitkat

Don't want to be a Debbie downer but....

It was incredible BECAUSE it was a holiday.

You up and leave to move to that same or similar spot the challenges are the same. School is a necessity for both kids, work is a necessity

Grass is not always greener.

PHBs. Post holiday blues. Common and passes!

OP is only talking about travelling for 6 months. School wouldn’t be necessary.
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/08/2021 21:33

A sabbatical/travelling might be great for 6m but at some point you would to have to return to a more "normal" existence - work, school, bills etc. It hurts more when you fall from a great height iyswim.

If I were you I would focus on trying to fix your home life rather than run away from it/escape it for a few months.

Is changing job an option?
What does DS hate about school, is there anything you can do to fix it?
Can you get any local support (charities etc?) To accelerate the special school process, if that's what your DD needs?
Consider a move somewhere more rural if you can make it work around careers, schools etc.

Susannahmoody · 30/08/2021 21:35

I once started application to move to Canada after a lovely holiday there convinced me life would be better living so far away.

^
Can confirm life is better here Grin

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/08/2021 21:36

OP is only talking about travelling for 6 months. School wouldn’t be necessary.

You don't get to opt out of educating your child Hmm. You would probably have to register them as home educated and then be subject to visits/inspection from local council home education teams.

and even for 6 months everyone needs money to live off, which involves earning it or having a lot of savings.

Its not easy to simply check out for a few months and where children are concerned it can actually amplify problems on return if they miss out on social experiences or fall behind academically.

Mosaic123 · 30/08/2021 21:38

Surely traveling is not a great idea at this time? Much of the world is unvaccinated, we have the NHS.

PepsiHoover · 30/08/2021 21:39

You don't need to up and move sticks, but you can make changes.

DH hates his job, so what's stopping him finding something he actually enjoys? DS hates school, is this something a different school would improve? I'm guessing you have to ferry everyone else around constantly, so what can you take off your own plate?

Last year I saw a lot of things that weren't working for me, the main one being work. I changed jobs and stopped doing a lot of shit that I had always felt I had to do but never enjoyed.

MrsRobbieHart · 30/08/2021 21:40

You don't get to opt out of educating your child hmm. You would probably have to register them as home educated and then be subject to visits/inspection from local council home education teams.

Grin who said anything about not educating them? You don’t have to register your children as home educated. You just deregister Them from the school they are enrolled at and no, you don’t have to submit to any visits or inspections form anyone.

Cyrsethatballoon · 30/08/2021 21:51

You really can't go travelling right now....

Moving to the country might well be an option though?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 30/08/2021 21:58

I loved holiays in Somerset so much I just upped and moved there. It was the best thing ever and I dont miss the south east at all. Job is so much better too.