To think there must be more to life than this?

[Thatisntaquestion]

I don't know whether I'm just experiencing the holiday blues but I'm just questioning my life.

We had such an amazing time in the countryside. In our 'real life' we live in northern suburbia, the same monotonous routine everyday. DH dislikes his job, 8 year old DS hates school and finds it stressful (even though his school report says he is exceeding expectations), 6 year old DD is waiting for a place at a special school, which looks like it could frankly take years.

The change in our life, even for that one week was just incredible. Am I being unreasonable to think that there must be more to life than this? I'd love to just pack our suitcases and go travelling for 6 months....(pandemic allowing, obviously) Show my children that there is an enormous world out there, full of opportunities. Other people's opinions are holding me back I suppose - i am a people pleaser.

Maybe moving out of suburbia and somewhere where you can have a better lifestyle would be worth considering

I live in the countryside and my life is pretty monotonous. I have to drive a lot, and mowing a 5 acre garden is a bit of a chore even on a ride on.

We do like it here, and have lived in cities, but often get a pang when we go on a city break...like you, on hols you think that it's the surrounding that's changed things not the fact you're relaxed, not working and free of domestic drudgery.

Not trying to put you off at all, it really was a positive move for us, but if you'd still be working and ferrying kids around you might find not much changes!

[quote Thatisntaquestion]@5128gap It's defintely an option financially. Not sure how it would work with DH's work. How does a sabbatical work?[/quote]
Sabbatical is just a long unpaid break from work where they hold your job for you. Purely at employers discretion. They are most likely to agree when they really don't want lose the person and/or they feel the experience they will gain will benefit them in their role. Does your DHs company usually agree them?

I live in the countryside and I bloody love it. A 5 acre lawn really isn't compulsory . I look out of my kitchen window while I'm eating my weetabix and see fields and hills - you can't beat that to start the day. My job, which I also love, doesn't pay amazingly well but my flat was cheap so I'm still better off than a lot of people in cities. I'm in a town small enough that people convincingly call it a village so there are things like a primary school, doctor's surgery, library, nice cafe etc in walking distance which for me at least has been a massive quality of life improvement.

Admittedly when the weather is shit or the tiny co-op has run out of halloumi I do sometimes fantasise about a city centre flat. Never suburbia though - you get the worst of both worlds there, nothing interesting nearby but people and cars everywhere.

Honestly life is too short to be unhappy. I plodded away for years in a job I hated and a poky 2 bed semi 500m from the motorway before I realised there were other options. The move and the career change, one after the other, were both stabs in the dark but I had back up plans in case either didn't work out. Maybe start to think about what you could change?

Of course there's more. Move somewhere you'd love too either, take your son out of school and head off on an adventure. Home ed your children, save a good lump sum if you can, with an end goal of living your life, not just putting up with monotonous daily misery. I say this as a home educating mum who lives in the country and every day is different.

Someone said you can't travel now, so I just wanted to comment that Mexico, for one, has never closed its borders.

I think it is a great idea. When I was young, I was stuck in a rut and a holiday made me realise I was living in the wrong place

The only status that resemble anything to the feel of holiday is retirement, when you retire young or still in excellent health and fitness. We are lucky to have holidays to get a break, many people don't.

6 months exploring the world is great, but a lot of money that could potentially be invested elsewhere. The feeling when you come back and resume the routine is even more of a crash.

I would not travel at this time. Children need routine and a stable home life. The world is a very uncertain place right now. Life is routine, no matter the country you live in. We all need to work(unless you are very wealthy) , go to school, shop, cook and clean. If you go to another country and need to self isolate, could you afford ten days in a hotel for all of you and all the testing? It's not cheap. Personally, this Pandemic will need to be paid for. I won't be doing much unnecessary spending as Im not confident this country will have the money to help care for me in old age. State pensions etc will not rise. Apart from the odd holiday, I honestly think with the way food prices etc will be going up, your better hanging onto what money you have. Everyone thinks the grass is greener, it isn't always.

I think a move to the countryside might be a good idea if returning to suburbia has you feeling like this? Obviously there will be a few post holiday blues in there too as you were on holiday with no work or school to think about so maybe have a few day trips or overnight stays at weekends to make you really sure you would want to live there?

Travelling would be amazing and give your kids loads of experiences so is an option, however I am not saying this to be negative, but the come down after coming home from such an amazing trip might be quite heavy. If you feel like this now after a short holiday, you would need to be prepared for returning from a 6 months trip. You could maybe plan something for coming home, like a new hobby or home project, etc so doesn't feel as bad.

Either way, whatever you decide it sounds like a change in lifestyle would do you good. I think we all need a change in routines sometimes, especially after thia past year and a half. Good luck!

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

A sabbatical/travelling might be great for 6m but at some point you would to have to return to a more "normal" existence - work, school, bills etc. It hurts more when you fall from a great height iyswim.

If I were you I would focus on trying to fix your home life rather than run away from it/escape it for a few months.

Is changing job an option?
What does DS hate about school, is there anything you can do to fix it?
Can you get any local support (charities etc?) To accelerate the special school process, if that's what your DD needs?
Consider a move somewhere more rural if you can make it work around careers, schools etc.

I agree with this post. If you want your life to be different, work on making it so. Travelling won’t fix that if you’re coming back to what you are finding tough now.

We do like it here, and have lived in cities, but often get a pang when we go on a city break...like you, on hols you think that it's the surrounding that's changed things not the fact you're relaxed, not working and free of domestic drudgery.

This is very true. I used to get post holiday blues when I was working, I don’t anymore.

I'd make some longer term changes. Travelling seems glamorous but might be stressful and disruptive and not like a holiday. What will make life more meaningful for each of you, consider planning a move to change lifestyle, cut dhs hours or commute, take more time for what you like doing, trialling home schooling maybe, get ds and dd to try some different hobbies or groups.

If you can afford to travel and no family member is against it, why not? Could be a wonderful valuable experience. Plus, the longer term changes that pp are recommending can be made on arrival home. A spell away might even make instituting those changes easier.