Social services or having a word with the parents?

[MintyGreenDream]

Not me but the owner of the hotel I stayed in Friday night.

Me,dh and ds were staying over night in Cleethorpes in a lovely hotel we found that had the main building accomodation and also a property next door but one for additional accommodation.
We sat down to breakfast in the morning and a little boy around 8yrs was sat alone happily chatting to a family on another table.We assumed the boy wanted to be grown up and sit alone from his family but then the family left and he started chatting to a couple asking them what their room was like and that he was staying in building further along and could he go to their room and see it.

Couple were like .
The little boy then told them that he was bored because his mum was in bed so he'd come for breakfast alone.

The owner ended up taking the boy back to his room and said she would speak to the mum whenever checked out.A lot of the guests were concerned about the boy and some mentioned social services.Would that have been over the top or not? We left soon after the boy was taken back so don't know the outcome.

Sorry there were paragraphs when I wrote it.im on the app

Wouldn't think SS, his mother hadn't abandoned him!

Yeah. That is over the top. Social services have so many other more serious things to investigate than a child having breakfast on holiday.

His mum accidently slept in. Hardly SS worthy.

What time in the morning was this? My 9yo is autistic and likely to do similar if I was fast asleep. At home he knows not to wake me before 7.30am but if he wants to go downstairs and make himself some cereal he’s allowed to do that anytime after 6.30am. If I hadn’t explicitly told him that this worked differently when we stayed in a hotel I could totally imagine him doing something similar to this little boy.

Obviously you don’t know the situation but it could be something completely innocent. Hopefully the hotel manager will have found out what happened when he took the boy back to his room and spoke to the mum. If it was because she was hungover or told the boy to go to breakfast on his own then hopefully the hotel has some kind of procedure in place or just uses common sense to do the right thing. I certainly wouldn’t immediately assume abuse or SS needing to intervene from this one snapshot though.

I think it’s over the top a bit. If it had been a toddler yes but I’m not sure about an eight year old. He could do with the stranger danger talk though.

I think it's a bit of an overreaction. It's very easy to sleep in and a child sneak out of a hotel room.

It happened to us when eldest DD was 6. She opened the main room door in our holiday apartment on the first night at about 6am thinking it was the bathroom door. Ended up locked out. The doors were so thick and heavy that we couldn't hear other people knocking on the door and the security had to open the apartment and wake us.

Never been as mortified in my life. But it can happen to the best of us!!

I wouldn't let ds 7 leave the building I was in to go to another while I was sleeping.To be asking to see strangers hotel rooms and talking to strangers alone is not the norm or safe imo.

I don't think anyone thought abuse but it did seem fairly negligent

@MintyGreenDream

I wouldn't let ds 7 leave the building I was in to go to another while I was sleeping.To be asking to see strangers hotel rooms and talking to strangers alone is not the norm or safe imo.

Phone social services then.

I hope they did tbh.Like I say we had to leave and he was back in his hotel room.

I don't really see the issue... certainly not a social services job!

The kid shouldn't be leaving the room alone really, but if he snuck out... but also, 8 years old is old enough to move round a not-massive hotel alone. And it sounds like there were plenty of staff around to keep an eye out.

yes, it''s not so much the going down to breakfast alone. that's ok.
it's the heedlessly putting himself in harm's way by asking to go see others' rooms.
that could so easily go wrong. hence why they need supervision.
and careful training, warning.
but doubt it warrants SS, on that alone.
good to be concerned and thinking about it, OP.

@zingally but why should they have to watch over children because their parent is in bed? They were busy with breakfast

I think it's horrific that an 8 year old was in another building without his Mum having a clue where he was, happy to go to a complete stranger's room
All the shrugging "it happens" posts are honestly perplexing.

It's not children services level for safeguarding and would be a parenting style difference.

The hotel manager took child back to his mum and probably "had a word". Mum may have slept in or may feel that was appropriate snd sent her son with instructions. DCs that young can go out to park to shops etc on their own if a safe environment, it's not how I parent nor how many of us parent on MN, but it isn't considered neglect.

What would the report be to CSD that you'd do?

"A child aged 7 that we don't know where they live nor name of them and their parent, came down to eat breakfast alone in the hotel whilst his mum stayed in the room. It was in the same site but slightly different building. Yes he was dressed, yes he was fed, no he wasn't covered in bruises crying about being hit... no he wasn't crying saying he's been put out all day and had no shelter... His mum was expecting him back..."

As the owner knew the mother, I assume she and her son are regular visitors - they may even live there. I think you, and the other guests, were overreacting. He was 8 not 18 months. They could have been rehomed in a B&B whilst waiting for more permanent accommodation, hence the child going for breakfast on his own while mum slept in. Not necessarily a sign of negligence.

Sorry, 8 years old, so Year 4 in primary school. Key stage 2.
Some are a lot more independent than others.

The owner didn't know the mother she found out which room and took him back

So it sounds like she broke the hotel rules, but it isn't neglect for CSD to follow up. See my first comment. He's a year4 aged Child. Many are walking to and from school without parent at that age, in our area (which is fairly safe area) . Again not my own parenting style, but not that unusual.

What do you think SS would do?

Kid gets up early, goes down to get breakfast, hotel worker takes kid back up to room.

Literally nothing happened.

Parents aren't infallible and mistakes get made sometimes.

Ridiculously ott to do either. What are you going to say? A chatty and happy 8 year old got himself some breakfast in a hotel while his mum was in the room? Where exactly is the abuse/neglect??

Did he look otherwise well looked after op?

I'm more impressed that you found a decent hotel in Cleethorpes! We always struggled when visiting in-laws in the area.

@MintyGreenDream

I wouldn't let ds 7 leave the building I was in to go to another while I was sleeping.To be asking to see strangers hotel rooms and talking to strangers alone is not the norm or safe imo.

But how would you stop him if you were sleeping?