To of told him not to come back

[TEH82]

So DH has been stomping around all morning as we had an argument and just went to go out o I told him not to come back.
Background is I have 2 DS (one with AHD) and he has 2 DC who we have 1 out of 2 weeks so exactly 50/50. The 50% we don’t have them my DC with AHD needs as they are loud children whose behaviour is not checked due to the coming and going to households. Once again his ex texted last night saying she is busy today so kids stay her, his DD then announced her mum told her she was doing that last week. I have spoken to DH and said we are not her babysitter and she only has them 50% and doesn’t work so she needs to sort children as we do on our days and it’s not only about her as I have a child who needs the routine and structure and yesterday DH son was particularly bad saying to my DS if he didn’t do what he wanted he would kill his mum (me) for which he was told off but no punishment for that behaviour which understandably upset my son so I want today to calm him and let him unwind.
DH then says I am stopping him having kids- we have them 50/50 and she doesn’t ask to swap or us help she is constantly telling us so it’s hard to plan/ organise and I have told him he needs to tell her these rules to which he refuses and stomps around hence why I told
Him not to come back as I can’t cope with it anymore

My children were with my parents as I am extremely close to them and my boys adore going there (to be spoilt rotten). He did offer to have my DC as I arranged alternative care as he was meant to be working away but situations changed due to covid but my youngest son has ASD so wanted to stick to the planned day which is fine. Weirdly he interacts with my DC more than his own and he says it’s because my DC behave and no when to stop which again I told him that him and his ex need to meet and discuss parenting, behaviour and boundaries as he has them 50/50 so is equally responsive for the behaviour and blaming his ex is not happening
I told him very clearly he is a grown arse man and more than capable of doing washing and anything else if it needs doing and it’s not my job to do it all or chase him like a child to do it- no one writes me a list or chases me I just get it done.

OP,
Think long and hard about allowing this waster use you and your home.

Your children would be better off with him gone.

I think you should tell him to leave, he will never take responsibility for his own dc.

In the meantime, stop doing anything for his kids.

I can’t believe he was annoyed you didn’t do their laundry. He needs to do it, you work full time!

Agh please don’t let him suck you back I’m. He has NO respect for you (bet if he worked from home he’d call it work) , upsets your child, there’s no way he’s suddenly going to parent his children and not expect you to carry him. He’ll promise it so he can come back. Before his kids are due back next.

Honestly I wouldn't want him back. He's taking you for a mug.