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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who is right here?

68 replies

LoulaJ · 30/08/2021 11:42

Parent A left 4 month old baby unsupervised in a baby bath (pic attached) which was on bathroom floor whilst they nipped across the landing to grab baby's towel from baby's room.

Parent B is appalled and thinks this was a serious lapse in judgement as they don't take their eyes off baby for even a second in the bath. Parent B thinks Parent A should have instead called them to get the towel.

Parent A thinks Parent B is overreacting and overly anxious, and is sure that baby was fine for the 20 seconds or so they were out of their sight.

Who is right here?

OP posts:

Shamoo · 30/08/2021 11:55

As PP said, I wouldn’t do it but 20 seconds to grab a towel seems unrealistic. Would be 5 seconds in my house?

PlanDeRaccordement · 30/08/2021 11:56

@spooney21

I think if there was another parent in the house in that situation then I would've called on them but I probably would've nipped out for a second otherwise.

It’s actually always safer to carry a wet baby to the towel one way than leave them unattended in a bath of water to go and get the towel for double the time (there and back.)

peachgreen · 30/08/2021 11:59

B is right, but I wouldn't be giving A a hard time, just explaining the risk (dry drowning/secondary drowning after momentary water inhalation) and agreeing it won't happen again. Parenting is hard, none of us do it perfectly or get it right first time and most of us are very lucky that our mistakes don't result in the worst outcome.

MrsRobbieHart · 30/08/2021 11:59

Stick a stack of towels in the bathroom so there’s no need for this again.

PreacherTeacher · 30/08/2021 12:03

Parent B. Parent A was in the house why would you even risk it when there was another option?

maddening · 30/08/2021 12:22

Parent b is right

Original poster

LoulaJ · 30/08/2021 12:23

Thanks all. 20 seconds was just an estimate - it might have more like 10. I still don't think it's acceptable (I'm parent B). I don't want to argue with him but I'm surprised and upset as he's never done anything risky like that before with the baby. I'm going to put the lapse of judgement down to sleep deprivation. I have no idea why he didn't get the towel ready in advance or just call me to get it.

OP posts:

Fncottonrrrrgh · 30/08/2021 13:54

@LoulaJ have you had a discussion with him yet? If you're still lucky enough to have a HV visit and he's around mention it to her in front of him. My DH is a bit funny like this. Thought I was being ott about milk used only within 1 hr etc, using an open carton of ready milk within 24hrs and only took it on board when I brought it up with the midwife on our 5 day check and they confirmed it.

TSSDNCOP · 30/08/2021 18:43

Parent B, but as new parents everyone's made a mistake. It's how we learn, so now A knows provided they shape up sharpish I'd leave it there.

Dmacka75 · 30/08/2021 18:58

You say bathroom floor in your OP?
Was it the bathroom floor or in the bath with water present?

FatLarrysBand · 30/08/2021 19:06

I can tell you that when I was working in care proceedings, a baby who had just been returned to the care of his parents, was promptly removed when mum had this very conversation with the guardian ad litem. Throwaway remark. She was out of the room for about ten seconds.
I think they got their child back in the end, but it was a real concern that she was consistently unable to make good decisions, and acted recklessly.

WhoIsPepeSilva · 30/08/2021 19:11

Parent B is right! Why would you take the chance tbh?

Getawaywithit · 30/08/2021 19:23

Baby in the bath or on the bathroom floor? I used to shower with mine sat in the bath seat on the bathroom floor.

seaandsandcastles · 30/08/2021 19:27

Parent B is right.

Parent A is neglectful and has a lack of judgement that is particularly shocking when it’s been pointed out and they’re still sure it’s okay.

Their judgement is so poor that I wouldn’t ever leave my child alone in their presence ever again.

PaperMonster · 30/08/2021 20:02

Parent B.

NailsNeedDoing · 30/08/2021 20:07

Obviously parent B is right.

Caliexpidocioussuper · 30/08/2021 20:09

It’s clear which way around this is! Mum is right dad is wrong.

Suzi888 · 30/08/2021 20:13

Depends…. how far away is the landing?

Obviously you should never leave baby alone, but our landing area is less than 2 secs from the bathroom, it’s attached to it.
Where we keep the towels is more like two minutes in real time, so take baby out and carry baby with you to get towel. (Yes, my DH has done this).
Tell DH/DP to take the bloody towel with them next time!

GeorgiaGirl52 · 30/08/2021 20:15

Parent B - Never leave a baby in water. They can drown in one inch.

rainyskylight · 30/08/2021 20:17

Never leave a baby in water. The odd time I forgot the towel or the one hanging was a bit damp, I picked DD up and took her through to the bedroom wet, blotting the water on me. I will get wet a million times over and never consider leaving her in the bath on her own.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2021 20:23

You are 100%, unequivocally right. 10 seconds, 20 seconds can become a minute or more if you get distracted. Your phone rings, something happens outside causing you to look out the window, another child distracts you, the possibilities are endless, and anyone, no matter how careful and diligent a parent, isn't immune to becoming distracted. This is how massive tragedies happen from seemingly inconsequential actions.

I would show your partner this thread.

EgSk · 30/08/2021 20:27

Never ever leave a baby unattended in a bath, even for 5 seconds!!!

Recessed · 30/08/2021 20:29

You really didn't need to do Parent A/B everyone reading knew it was a dad

Four months old is much too teeny tiny. I'm not nearly as over zealous as most on here. In that I happily let my DDs play in the bath from toddlerhood while I pottered in and out of the bathroom but at four months there's just no way you take the risk.

squirrelnutkins1 · 30/08/2021 20:30

Parent B 1000000% is right

NotJuryDutyAgain · 30/08/2021 20:46

I'd start storing all the towels in the bathroom. I'd find a place, somehow.

If there were no towels and no-one to call for one, then I'd just get a bit wet carrying the baby with me to get a towel. Changing a damp shirt for a dry one is easy enough.

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