What is the most important aspects of a healthly marriage

[Lockeddownagain]

So what do you think is the most important things in a marriage
I'm not a journalist I'm just interested

Invest time in each other, don't assume you can put your marriage on the back burner to pick it up from where you left it after a few years of child rearing. Don't be afraid to prioritise time as a couple, not everything has to be family time.

@thelegohooverer interesting research, thanks!

So to summarise, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling. In a 14 year longitudinal study by Levenson & Gottman (linked above) they discovered a second dysfunctional pattern, emotional disengagement. It was marked by the absence of positive affect during conflict (no interest, affection, humor, or empathy). Now they could predict not only if a couple would divorce, but when. Couples who had the Four Horsemen divorced an average of 5.6 years after the wedding, while emotionally disengaged couples divorced an average of 16.2 years after the wedding.
Verrrry interesting.

The best part? The ability to divorce the prick with relative ease.

Everything

Was watching the good fight and they mother gave her daughter the advice of a good marriage. When you come home from work alone and your husbands car is in the driveway do you get an excited, I can't wait to see him and tell him about my day feeling? Thats a sign your marriage is healthy. It was said a lot more eloquently in the show obviously but I think it kind of applies to couples that aren't as 100% passionate as others.

In longitudinal studies of marriage psychologists were able to predict with 90% accuracy which couples would divorce.

That doesn't surprise me tbh. I think other important factors apart from choice of partner are to do with your own motives for marrying, and your views about romantic love. I think you're much more likely to have a successful marriage if you are of the opinion that it's far better to remain single forever than to be with the wrong person. And if you have a healthy scepticism about the existence of 'the one' and about men who are keen on making romantic gestures.

Kindness
Having a laugh
Good sex life
Taking an interest in each other and being supportive
I'm a bit torn on trust- I don't believe you can ever totally trust anyone - you never really know what's round the corner and also think you risk taking someone for granted if you assume there is no chance of them being attracted to anyone else- eg when people say they know their partner would never cheat on them - to me I just think you really never know ...I think monogamy can be a tricky thing and am definitely a realist that people can have their heads turned but it doesn't mean the relationship is over.