To be a bit worried about going back to work?

[SpicyJalfrezi]

Ds sleep has never been the best, but sometimes it really ramps up with waking every 90 minutes or so, pretty much guaranteeing you get no sleep at all, or an hour or so of broken sleep.

I am back at work this week after 9 months on maternity leave and am a bit worried about how I’m going to cope after no sleep at all

Do you have a partner who can share the load at night?
Will LO be going to childcare? You may find once he's in a routine and having busy days he starts sleeping better.

Honestly you just do find ways - I had to go back to work full time when my twins were 20 weeks - neither sleeping through the night and I work a high pressured challenging job involving lots of travel. The only way I get through it is to regularly be in bed between 8pm and 9pm - that way I can get most of my sleep before 1am when they seem to wake most often (I do all night feeds). I'm then up at 530am as have a school age child to also get ready for all 3 of us to be out the door for 7am. Yes mon-fri just feels like you are in constant motion and you are on auto pilot it load up on caffeine and you'll be fine x

You really will adjust and survive. My 18 month old still wakes in the night (last night only once which is a MASSIVE win). We both wake together which is how we prefer to do it - DH has a v senior and high pressure job and has always needed at least 8 hours and somehow we have both just adjusted. I'm not saying we feel fantastic but we turn up, do what we need to do then collapse in a puddle later.

Problem is DS doesn’t ever have a block of sleep. Even if I go to bed at that time (and I do go at 9) he wakes at 11, midnight and then usually around 2. The 2am one is the worst and it generally takes about an hour and a half to get him back down. Then you’re wide awake!

My saving grace has been that DP has him for a couple of hours 6-8 usually. But can’t do that when I am back at work.

You adjust. You compartmentalise. You cope.

I found that co sleeping was the answer. We have a 6ft bed and so plenty of room. I bf until he was 2 so I had far better sleep if he was in with me. He never woke us up, even when he moved to his own room we’d often wake up with him between us. He was like a ninja when he came in in the early hours. He’d just cuddle up and sleep.

Stop thinking about when he will wake. Don't make it a big deal and it won't be. You can exhaust yourself going over why things are difficult than you can doing them. Mental stress is tiring. You go to bed early, let DP deal with any wake ups and then you do the latter end of the night or vice versa whatever works best. Then you both have so many hours undisturbed and then so many broken.

It’s not as simple as that, @BackBoiler - it’s the 2 am one that’s the killer, that pretty much guarantees you are more or less up for the day at that point. I’m hoping his sleep will improve, but it’s hard to say.

Why can't your partner help?

I haven’t said he won’t, but it still does take it out of you. To be honest he isn’t always the best at hearing DS (I have no idea why as ds could wake the dead when he gets going!) I don’t actually know yet how we are going to organise the nights.

It's not popular on here but I would do some form of sleep training

@SpicyJalfrezi

I haven’t said he won’t, but it still does take it out of you. To be honest he isn’t always the best at hearing DS (I have no idea why as ds could wake the dead when he gets going!) I don’t actually know yet how we are going to organise the nights.

He can hear just fine, I'll guarantee it.

He can hear just fine, I'll guarantee it.

Indeed.

My daughter has very itchy eczema and sleep can be a battle but was particularly bad when I went back to work. You just cope, but I can assure you that any moans from others about being tired drive you insane My husband and I just took in turns to survive. Good luck, I hope it gets better soon

I wouldn’t be anti it @MattyGroves, if there was anything I found that was likely to work. It must be frustrating for ds as well.

Take shifts. One of you covers wake ups from 9-1 and the other from 1-5 or whatever. Then you each get a semi decent block of sleep.

I’m a single parent and I was in this position when I was due to go back to work. I brought DS in to bed with me. I know it’s not a long term solution but it was the only way I could get enough sleep.
Is your DS waking for feeds, or just waking for no apparent reason?

Yeah - 9-1 isn’t really a decent block of sleep, though!

We did when ds was a newborn. It gets you by, just. But long term it’s a killer.

You and your dh will either have to split the nights or (and this is the better option imo) alternate nights. It means you get at least one full night of sleep every other night. Your dh can't possibly expect you to do all the nights when you work too! Also if your child is going to nursery you may find sleep improves as mine are usually exhausted afterwards.

No apparent reason. It’s a pain. It’s really that 2am wakeup that’s the awful one.

I’m hoping so @RavenclawsRoar and I’m hoping DP does want to do alternate nights, as I hate the split nights.

Can you afford a sleep specialist? Have you tried any sort of sleep training?
If you are both working then the nights need to be shared with both of you getting a least one lie in a week.

I tried Lucy Wolfe’s book, but not sure it helped - may have been me though as a lot of people seem to have found it very helpful.

Sleep train, without a doubt. It saved my sanity. We did it at 8 months.

Have you tried controlled crying/Ferber method?