AIBU to wonder if I’m the only one who’s lonely?

[caffeineandcalpol]

I have a partner and he’s great, I do every with DP and/or my 2 dd’s.
That’s it. I have no friends, at all.
I have no one to send a rant text to, or to ask out for a lunch, no one to meet with the kids.
I have always been this way, there’s been the odd friendship, but that’s it.
I’m starting to feel incredibly lonely, it’s really getting to me.

I feel like I’m the only one who’s not going to a bottomless brunch with a best friend.
Please tell me I’m not the only person with no friends?!?

@caffeineandcalpol

I have a partner and he’s great, I do every with DP and/or my 2 dd’s. That’s it. I have no friends, at all. I have no one to send a rant text to, or to ask out for a lunch, no one to meet with the kids. I have always been this way, there’s been the odd friendship, but that’s it. I’m starting to feel incredibly lonely, it’s really getting to me.

I feel like I’m the only one who’s not going to a bottomless brunch with a best friend.
Please tell me I’m not the only person with no friends?!?

I do not think you are alone in feeling like this OP.

When we get married/live together and have children our lives go in different directions and friends seem to drop off the radar. One day you wake up and realise you don't actually have anyone to go for a walk with or meet up for coffee and it's worse if you do go for a walk and you see other ladies walking with a friend.

Some friends are a pain in the arse though :)

Have you thought about going to classes for anything? Pilates as an example? It's worth a try.

Do you have any joint friends op? It may take time but could you go out with them individually. Friendships take time to grow but you can star to with a coffee and take it from there. The ranting and brunches will come.

You're not the only one, OP. I've just gone through the whole 6 week school summer holidays without meeting up with a single other adult. I don't have a dp either. I've resigned myself to this being how my life is

Of course it won’t just be you, I’m the same but with no partner so extra lonely!

I am quite an active person, I go to the gym, indoor climbing and I get out a lot with my family. I’ve done classes in the past, but no friendship seems to stick.
If I’m honest I feel as though it starting to have an affect on me as I’m wondering what’s wrong with me and why people don’t seem to stick around.
It’s so hard. I watch my children play with other kids when we are out , just play with strangers and sometimes I think we lose something as adults to just talk to people. I’m rambling a little here.

I’m 34 and it’s getting to the point where I’m just wondering when I will just get a friend.

What’s stopping you making friends? How have you ended up this way?

@theliverpoolone I hope you meet someone, not just DP wise but someone to talk to. Life really can be lonely

Me too OP. I’ve tried to make friends but I think I put people off, a cross between over sharing and having nothing to say maybe? Wfh FT has made me feel more isolated.

@PallasStrand I really wish I knew. School wasn’t great for me.
Then adult life just acquaintances really, no long term or solid friendships

What about parents of your children’s friends? Not worked for me but always is what is suggested to me? Invite them over etc?

@Passthecake30 I know what you mean, I can’t find the balance.

@PumpkinKlNG I work FT, eldest DD in secondary school so I don’t suppose mums of older children get together.
I don’t do the school run for my youngest so I don’t get the opportunity to chat to other parents at the gate etc.
I went to party the other week and I sat on my own, I tried to chat and make conversation but people went back into their own groups

Yeh you are right past primary it won’t be possible! It never worked for me anyway just didn’t seem to click with anyone and my kids have sen so don’t get invited to things. Always the suggestion though but I’ve never personally managed it.

[quote caffeineandcalpol]@PallasStrand I really wish I knew. School wasn’t great for me.
Then adult life just acquaintances really, no long term or solid friendships[/quote]
Well, I hated school with a passion, but discovered friendships at university. Work has also always been a reliable source of friendships for me. Do you meet people you like in any circumstances, and do you make a move if so?

@caffeineandcalpol now that Covid restrictions are easing I’m going to try a different exercise class, and perhaps some volunteer work.

Me too! I have no friends urgh. But then I think do I want all the drama that comes along with having "friends"

@PallasStrand I didn’t attend college or university. Well, I did one week and college and dropped out due to bullying that had followed me from school.
I’ve always worked in a male dominated environment so I’ve had the odd person that I got on with in works time but it didn’t go anywhere else.
I do chat to people at the things I go to, I made an effort to get a number and meet someone for walks etc but she soon got busy and the communication dropped. I sent the odd ‘how are things?’ Text and no reply

@Passthecake30 that’s a good idea, I hope you meet some great people

@Twocanplay I know what you mean, but the loneliness for me is now outweighing that feeling

I think it's the expectation for me that I should have them and dont. With a DP 3 kids and big families on both sides we are always busy and dont get much down time at all. But I dont really have friends I meet up with. I have joint friends with my DP that we do the odd thing with like parents from school. I have work friends in that we might go on a work night out. But no best friend that I text or meet up with. I sometimes think it's weird but then I forget about again as I am so busy. Sometimes I worry when my kids grow up I will really feel it hard. My DP has loads he is just more personable than me I guess.

How did you get together with your husband, OP?

I feel like this too. I have 3 friends from school. Friendship over 30 odd years, I love them all dearly but I sometimes wonder if I'm just included cos I'm part of the group? As no 'work friendship' has ever stuck.

@GreenClock I got a puncture and he pulled over to help, give me his number incase I had any bother and it went from there

@tootiredtospeak you sound super busy! It’s hard to find balance sometimes with everything

@NuckingFightmare I’m sure it’s not just because you’re part of the group, that’s a great long lasting friendship.
I thought I had work friends and then I found out they’re all going out for drinks on a Friday and it was kept quiet. I’m fine with it as they’re all good friends and probably don’t want any new comers