AIBU to wonder if I’m the only one who’s lonely?

[caffeineandcalpol]

I have a partner and he’s great, I do every with DP and/or my 2 dd’s.
That’s it. I have no friends, at all.
I have no one to send a rant text to, or to ask out for a lunch, no one to meet with the kids.
I have always been this way, there’s been the odd friendship, but that’s it.
I’m starting to feel incredibly lonely, it’s really getting to me.

I feel like I’m the only one who’s not going to a bottomless brunch with a best friend.
Please tell me I’m not the only person with no friends?!?

Some are just rubbish at communicating they're looking for friends. And you have no time at all to devote with small DC. It gets better and it's nothing about you, just no time. It's a sacrifice we make as mums.

@Mscarna I have time, it’s just bloody hard work. It was like this even before kids.
I think I used to try too hard, I get that now.

Same here op.
I used to have loads of good friends but due to house moves, children etc I gradually lost touch with them.
I have one friend from school but its very rare that we meet up, but keep in touch on WhatsApp - that's it.

DH has loads of friends and I secretly think he thinks I'm a freak for not having girlfriends.

Tbh I'm quite lazy at working to maintain friendships and I'm happiest at home with my family. It's more worrying about other people judging me. I haven't explained that very well!

@Farevalah I know what you mean.
My DP doesn’t have a huge amount but he does get out with friends and I encourage it.

It’s hard work finding friends and then keeping them

Yep but we all live and learn. Nobody just figures it out age 2. Figure out your interests then look for others who like the same. I'm 54. I only realised recently i like cycling and swimming. There's no time limit,

Where are you based? Have you thought Re volunteering ? I met some lovely local people doing food bank during covid

I have people I know, but at the same time two people, that are fairly close to me and no one I could completely trust, when I need to off load, I tend to keep it close to myself and handle it privately, I try not to be an open book at times, although usually unintentionally.

I'm the same. But I know it's because I struggle mentally and that makes me a bad friend. I'm trying very hard to be a better friend, to my old friends I don't see in real life anymore and the new people I meet (If I'm lucky to get their number or see them again). It's going to take time. But DH and I are both struggling. It's hard; we've propped each other up for years and are desperate to change things.

@Lotsalotsagiggles I’m in West Yorkshire.
I did sign up to volunteer during covid as I lost my job, and then I found a full time job so unfortunately had to knock that on the head as I couldn’t commit to the time they needed.
I have hobbies and I do talk to people there, but I can tell it’s just casual chat

@Hawkins001 do you wish you had someone like that? Or are you ok with how things are?
I wish I had someone I could trust to talk to. I talk to DP but there’s somethings he doesn’t get.

@KatherineOfGaunt that’s good that you’re making an effort. Hopefully when you grow your friend circle they will understand your struggles.

I have some lovely friends I have known for years but I do make an effort to keep in touch . I am often the person who organises a get together as some of them admit they like coming out but would never get round to organising something. I have a couple of friends abroad that I message/ speak to regularly and meet every few years. During Covid lockdown, like many people , I called old friends I hadn’t spoken to for a while . It’s good to have someone to chat to even if not in person. My best long term friends came from a mum and toddler group I went to when my children were small. I am sure Covid must have had an impact on mums meeting people. Other friends are ex work colleagues mainly.

I'm sorry you feel this way but let me tell you - your not alone.

I feel the same way. I have literally no friends either.

@cookiesandtea does it bother you at all?

[quote caffeineandcalpol]@Hawkins001 do you wish you had someone like that? Or are you ok with how things are?
I wish I had someone I could trust to talk to. I talk to DP but there’s somethings he doesn’t get.[/quote]
I think I'd rather be there to help others, then day by day be my own psychologist, as this may be a bit cynical but if you trust others to much, you never know just how much you can trust a person, although I'm not exactly Jonny English, with humanity as a whole, you just never know a person 100%. I guess it's nice to have different perspectives from others then I can choose my method to handle x situation or have different psychological perspectives from others, then attempt my own method of treatment so to speak.

[quote caffeineandcalpol]@cookiesandtea does it bother you at all?[/quote]
Sometimes yes. I'm in my 30s now like you so just get on with it. I like you have no long standing friends, people I can call etc.

Sometimes I think thank goodness I don't have millions of friends as I find it exhausting. Other times I think I would love a friend!