To think school mums are a different kettle of fish?

[frenemynumber9]

I have an 8 year old daughter, I had her at 21 so am a fairly young mum. However, throughout the past 4 years every school mum (except one - who coincidentally was also a young mum) that I have had to communicate with, whether that be small talk in the playground, chatting at birthday parties, arrange plans for play dates or very rarely had a coffee with during a play date has been very, for lack of a better word, weird.

I feel like the conversation is like pulling teeth, they will happily chat about themselves but never ask anything in return. They seem to be very snobbish and judgemental.

I always remember one play date my daughter had in primary 2 - my daughter had been to the girls house to play, so I invited the girl to my house. The girls mum asked if she could have a coffee...no problem. She came in and had two coffees and stayed for 2 hours, all the while making no conversation, it was all on me. Finally she said she was going and when should she pick up her daughter? I said a time about 2 hours later yet she turned up about 45 minutes later and was very off standish and hurrying her daughter out the door as if there was something wrong. Didn't hear from her again, it was very very bizarre. My house is clean and tidy, it's not the biggest but it's certainly nothing I'm ashamed of.

I'm very easy to talk to and have never struggled to make friends or chat with people except the school mums. They're just a group of people that I find very...odd.

I surely can't be the only one?

@Anordinarymum

My children went to a school in a market town. The cliques of mums were unbelievable. There were the professional mums.. doctors, vets, nurses There were the working mums There were the stay at home mums who fell into different categories of wealth (perceived by each other) There were the 'born and bred in this town' mums who only spoke to each other And me. I was polite to them all and a friend of none of them. If my children were invited to parties or to tea, I was friendly and polite always but I could not get into the business of who would speak to whom because they wore certain clothes or had nice cars - or a posh accent.

Let them get on with it. Life's too short for this sort of shite :)

They're not cliques though. They're just groups of friends. And most of us operate socially within our own bubbles of similar people with similar experiences in life.

So when everyone gets thrown together at the school gates, there are bound to be groups of parents who already know each other, and they're likely to chat in their bubble.

It doesn't mean that any of them look down on or judge other groups. They're just natural friendship groups, and only the insecure see such groups as exclusive or unfriendly.

@saraclara agree completely.

@FrankButchersDickieBow

I am constantly perplexed by theses posts. 1 mum out the whole of the school, is normal (the OP) and EVERY other mum is strange, odd, weird, standoffish, in a clique, sneery, rude, queen bee etc.

When I picked up/dropped off dd in primary, there would be a bit of small talk, hi, hello, did you have a nice holiday etc.

No drama's, no fall outs, no slagging off other parents or kids.

How do people get so involved in these ins and outs that turn into dramas when you see the people for 20 minutes a day max?

I understand this person invited themselves in and then was erratic at pick up. Do you not think something could have been going on with them that day?

You need to meet my DC's old school, proper full on fight in the playground that involved a police presence going forward and a quick departure from the school.

It was a canny school, but it was also a "kids of kids" and everyone was pretty much related to each other or had lived in the same street or gone to school themselves together type school.

I was the weird outsider.

Lazy, reductive thinking when people say this. Hardly unusual for shitty people to club together whether that be in families or friendships