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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off DH came back drunk?

38 replies

unsubt · 27/08/2021 23:46

DH went to a football match with BIL and nephew as he usually does, I asked him not to drink tonight as we have plans tomorrow and DD is teething so she keeps waking up.

He said he wouldn't, he got back and he's drunk, also been in a fight! I tried to speak to him but he just said it's not a big deal and he admitted to fighting but said an away fan tried to start a fight with nephew, which I'm not sure I believe!

AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:
2pinkginsplease · 27/08/2021 23:48

If he came back drunk from football every match then I’d be annoyed but a one off , then I wouldn’t be.

SpiceWeaselBAM · 27/08/2021 23:50

Don't try to reason or argue with him now, wait till tomorrow.

YANBU, I hate my DH getting drunk at the best of times because he turns into an idiot or blacks out, but in this case you'd specifically requested it due to tomorrow's activities.

doingnothing · 27/08/2021 23:51

Yabu

subsy1 · 27/08/2021 23:55

You asked him not to drink and he agreed not to. He came home drunk after fighting.
How the Hell would anyone not be pissed off? YANBU!

Merryoldgoat · 27/08/2021 23:58

A) is he so drunk he’ll be a wreck tomorrow? If yes I’d be angry, if no then I wouldn’t.

B) the fighting is more unacceptable to me.

gardeninggirl68 · 27/08/2021 23:58

yabu

ValidUser · 27/08/2021 23:59

YANBU. But the fighting would bother me more.

bloodywhitecat · 28/08/2021 00:02

I'd be far more pissed off about the fighting to be honest

Original poster
unsubt · 28/08/2021 00:02

I don't mind when he usually gets back drunk, but we have plans tomorrow and he knows DD doesn't sleep through the night, so ill keep having to get up with her as he obviously cant now!

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 28/08/2021 00:14

Well none of yesterday's matches look like they would have been a trouble match where you expect fighting but I guess all clubs have the odd trouble maker follow them.

KingdomScrolls · 28/08/2021 00:23

I'd be more angry about the fighting! Unless he is completely legless he can still get up with DD and if he's too drunk tonight he can get up early with her in the morning while you catch up on sleep before you go out. It's his fault if he has a hang over.

Rabbitheadlights · 28/08/2021 00:23

Eugh NO from me, fighting? Over football? Really? Is he 12? You've got bigger problems than him drinking when he said he wouldn't OP.

RJnomore1 · 28/08/2021 00:25

See how he is tomorrow. He’s onviouup to conversing with you do he doesn’t sound that bad.

If he normally takes turns with your child but misses a night fair enough, your off duty tomorrow I guess

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2021 00:26

@Rabbitheadlights

Eugh NO from me, fighting? Over football? Really? Is he 12? You've got bigger problems than him drinking when he said he wouldn't OP.
At no point did the OP say the fight was over football.

If someone tried to start a fight with my nephew or niece, I'd stick up for them too.

OP, I'd find out more about it in the morning if I were you.

Hawkins001 · 28/08/2021 00:27

All the best op

Rabbitheadlights · 28/08/2021 00:53

@WorraLiberty

he admitted to fighting but said an away fan tried to start a fight with nephew, which I'm not sure I believe!

Really?

Suetully · 28/08/2021 01:56

''At no point did the OP say the fight was over football.

If someone tried to start a fight with my nephew or niece, I'd stick up for them too.''

yea most adults with any sense would try to appease it and not let any fight happen. Fighting or any violence should be the last resort.

timeisnotaline · 28/08/2021 01:58

What are the plans? Can they be shifted to later? Is it something you enjoy or can you beg off as too tired?

Hekatestorch · 28/08/2021 05:09

yea most adults with any sense would try to appease it and not let any fight happen. Fighting or any violence should be the last resort.

We don't know that it wasn't.

Op, just see how things are this morning.

The 'fight' may not be anything more that someone getting a bit shirty and your dh stepping in or a bit of pushing and shoving. Which most people would if it involved their nephew.

I hope your plans can go ahead today and you got some sleep.

LimeRedBanana · 28/08/2021 05:15

I asked him not to drink tonight as we have plans tomorrow and DD is teething so she keeps waking up.

This seems so infantilising.

In 20 years of being with DH, I have never had to ask him to do, or not do, something like this. Because - he’s a grown up and can monitor his own, adult self. If he couldn’t, we would never have got off the ground as a couple.

The minute you start needing to tell your life partner how to behave, is the minute you surely recognise the person isn’t fit for partnership/fatherhood/adulthood, and you opt out.

I can’t even get past this initial point and to the issues you’re actually having because, to me, this stumbling block is just too great.

Holidaytan · 28/08/2021 08:54

I read these sort of threads and wonder why anyone would marry the kind of man who routinely fights at a football match (or anywhere).
Different worlds, I guess…….

Original poster
unsubt · 28/08/2021 10:17

He's still asleep and I was up at 5 with DD, and we need to go out at 12!

I don't normally tell him not to drink as we don't normally have plans end next day.

OP posts:
Original poster
unsubt · 28/08/2021 10:17

@unsubt

He's still asleep and I was up at 5 with DD, and we need to go out at 12!

I don't normally tell him not to drink as we don't normally have plans end next day.

The*
OP posts:
Macncheeseballs · 28/08/2021 10:52

Man must go out and watch football and drink and fight, he is a man - you, little woman must welcome him home with soft bosom and kind words, such is the way of this fucked up world

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2021 11:32

[quote Rabbitheadlights]@WorraLiberty

he admitted to fighting but said an away fan tried to start a fight with nephew, which I'm not sure I believe!

Really?[/quote]
Yes really! None of that states the op's DH was fighting about football.