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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this school mum was being ridiculous?

89 replies

ruhmes · 27/08/2021 14:02

DD is 7, and she went back to school yesterday, this morning, a school mum, came to me and told me that DD kept telling her class about going to see her dad abroad and how he bought her a lot of things, and told me I should talk to DD about telling lies as she saw her dad pick her up from school yesterday (he came back with us and is going to stay here for a few weeks for work and so he can see DD often etc). I told her DD wasn't lying about her summer holiday, the mum then said that DD is going to grow up being spoilt, and that she shouldn't have been showing off (I don't think she was, she was just excited).

AIBU to think she was being ridiculous?

OP posts:
Boatonthehorizon · 27/08/2021 16:09

Jealous and insane.

Ticksallboxes · 27/08/2021 16:17

She's sounds like a very jealous person with no filter!

Your DD did nothing wrong at all so I would just give her a wide birth.

MrsScrubbithatescleaning · 27/08/2021 16:19

I'm guess the crack about DD being spoilt was said in retaliation because you corrected her mistake when she accused your DD of lying.

She is obviously incapable of accepting she fucked up and instead of apologising for being an interfering cow, tried to deflect her error by finding another stick to beat you with.

She's a bit sad and pathetic really.

QueenBee52 · 27/08/2021 16:20

@maddening

One of my BILs relations/family owns a football club and one of the school mums went over to dsis laughing about dnephew lying about his relative and the football club only to be told it was true. Stupid arseholes like this are so annoying 🙄
hahahaaa love it Flowers
QueenBee52 · 27/08/2021 16:21

@TableFlowerss

YADNBU - the other mother sounds unhinged
Yip.. at least you know who to avoid now OP Grin
CampaignToo · 27/08/2021 16:24

I do think a 7yo should be starting to realise that not everyone is so fortunate and not to be bragging, but that's your issue to pick up if you want to. Bonkers that another parent felt it appropriate to speak to you about it.

DoItAfraid · 27/08/2021 16:25

@Threearm

The mum is insane.
Exactly this.
DoItAfraid · 27/08/2021 16:28

@notenoughcoffeeee

Seems a bit much, do you know this Mum well? Due to COVID many can't go away on holiday due to income cuts etc so it may have touched a nerve with her. It's inappropriate for her to say your DD will grow up spoilt though! It's normal for kids to share holiday stories but yes I can see how it may have triggered such a reaction due to the changing situation.
Lots of people can’t afford to go on holiday pre Covid and we dont generally go around being triggered by the fact that other people get the opportunity to go places.
Tossblanket · 27/08/2021 16:30

Fuck off nose ointment would have been an appropriate response.

JacquelineCarlyle · 27/08/2021 16:34

@simitra

"I really dont mind your giving me unsolicited advice on parenting so long as you dont mind my telling you to feck off!"

Job done.

This!
lanthanum · 27/08/2021 16:41

I think she'd jumped to conclusions, felt a complete prat when you said she was wrong, and switched to "tell her not to show off" to try and save face as to why she was tackling you about it anyway (which failed). She's probably a bit embarrassed about it all now, and will hopefully be a little less interfering another time!

Goldbar · 27/08/2021 18:16

I thought lying or exaggeration was quite common in young children. Certainly, they often say things that their parents would eye-roll at if they were present. So even if I suspected a young child of telling lies or exaggerating the truth,

Goldbar · 27/08/2021 18:17

Posted too soon...It wouldn't occur to me to raise it with their parents!

Dolphinnoises · 27/08/2021 18:20

It sounds like she’s the sort of person who can’t back down - so having found out your DD wasn’t lying didn’t have the ability to say “oh ok sorry, I was wrong” and went on the offensive about something else…

QueenBee52 · 27/08/2021 19:11

@Goldbar

Posted too soon...It wouldn't occur to me to raise it with their parents!
yeah ... it is pretty odd.. almost like this Mother wanted to see the child 'put in their place' ... and then she would share the tale of this lying child...

She sounds vicious...

PlanDeRaccordement · 27/08/2021 19:19

The school mum is being ridiculous and horrible to confront you, call your DD a liar and spoilt. That’s insane behaviour.

That said some schools have stopped the “what I did on my summer holidays” exercises because it only serves to highlight the class divide between children. Those that are well off enough to go abroad and/or have adventures versus those whose only bit of fun was the day there was enough money for the ice cream van.

So while this school mum was insane and vicious. I really think it’s from a place where her child is a have not and these “what I did on my summer holiday” events every year end up making her child feel terribly poor, unloved, left behind, disadvantaged, less than, etc.

Winniewonka · 27/08/2021 19:22

The question no one seems to have asked is why was this Mum in the class? Is she an assistant or is she just relaying what her child told her?
I think I would have to go back and ask to repeat the bizarre conversation that you had and then give her a piece of YOUR mind!

Welshiefluff · 27/08/2021 19:28

Ignore her

Foxmylife · 27/08/2021 19:30

Oh dear what a strange woman, ignore and how dare she say your dd was lying!

Goldbar · 27/08/2021 19:40

@QueenBee52. Yes, you're right, that's what I find odd. Even if the OP's DD was lying (and she wasn't), many kids go through stages of making things up, some of them quite fantastic. So if I met a child that was doing this, I wouldn't think, "This is an awful child and I need to report this behaviour to the parents because it's so bad". I would think it was an irritating stage and might tell the parents in a friendly way if I saw them in passing. She sounds like an unpleasant person who has it in for the OP's young DD

igelkott2021 · 27/08/2021 20:04

AIBU to think this school mum is being ridiculous?

Nope!

I think there is a collective lockdown madness descending. The more I hear about ridiculous people doing ridiculous things...

TSSDNCOP · 27/08/2021 20:13

Well, it's always good you know who's top of your "avoid at all costs" laminated list.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/08/2021 20:15

Omg a 7 year old showed off a bit.

Newsflash. They do that ALL THE TIME.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/08/2021 20:33

Who on earth would actually raise this with another parent (ie you)? She sounds nuts.

I mean it’s not ideal when dc go on about all the stuff they have, but not worth raising with you.

wingsandstrings · 27/08/2021 21:07

She's only 7 and probably she would like for her Dad to live in the same country as her permanently, so doubtless she was just so happy to have spent time with him and felt affirmed by him when he bought her stuff. I agree with posters who say that boasting shouldn't be encouraged in kids but I think a young child excited to see her dad should be given a pass. She will be not be the only child talking excitedly about her summer.

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