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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this school mum was being ridiculous?

89 replies

ruhmes · 27/08/2021 14:02

DD is 7, and she went back to school yesterday, this morning, a school mum, came to me and told me that DD kept telling her class about going to see her dad abroad and how he bought her a lot of things, and told me I should talk to DD about telling lies as she saw her dad pick her up from school yesterday (he came back with us and is going to stay here for a few weeks for work and so he can see DD often etc). I told her DD wasn't lying about her summer holiday, the mum then said that DD is going to grow up being spoilt, and that she shouldn't have been showing off (I don't think she was, she was just excited).

AIBU to think she was being ridiculous?

OP posts:
MrsRobbieHart · 27/08/2021 14:59

She’s bonkers

I’d have looked at her blankly until she walked away.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 27/08/2021 15:03

'Thank you for your opinion, over-invested helicopter parent, which has been noted'.

beigebrownblue · 27/08/2021 15:05

Yes, she is unreasonable.

However although it is an obviously traditional conversation topic after the school holidays for teachers to initiate, I'm not sure it is entirely sensitive to focus on what kids did in the school holidays.

Some probably had a horrendous time, with lack of funds, covid, cancelled holidays etc.

beigebrownblue · 27/08/2021 15:05

I mean the teacher could have handled the session differently, not you as a mum.

TheWoleb · 27/08/2021 15:06

Nutjob.

Mindyourbusiness22 · 27/08/2021 15:10

Jealously is an awful thing.

Viviennemary · 27/08/2021 15:12

The mum was ridiculous. But I don't think boasting about how much you've been bought is a habit to be encouraged in children. .

Winemewhynot · 27/08/2021 15:14

Wow I literally don’t think I’d be able to contain my face Shock

Ignore her, she’s mental!

PumpkinPie2016 · 27/08/2021 15:15

The mum was being ridiculous and rude. It's common for children to talk about what they did over the holidays when they go back to school. Your daughter is only 7 and she was probably excited that she had seen her Dad for an extended period of time, if that's not the norm for her.

It sounds to me like the other mum is jealous and interfering.

BendingSpoons · 27/08/2021 15:16

It sounds like she realised she had got it wrong saying she was lying and didn't want to back down completely.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 27/08/2021 15:19

I would have said that your DD wasn't lying, but if the other Mum is ever concerned about something that happens during school time then she should bring it up with the school and not you.

Hankunamatata · 27/08/2021 15:21

Lol she thought your dd was lying and then got embarrassed

GintyMcGinty · 27/08/2021 15:24

School mum is crazy and rude.

MrsHGWells · 27/08/2021 15:26

How afronting I would be in shock also.. what a spiteful remark … your DD is clearly excited about being at school with her friends.. revel in the wonderful memories you have made.. tune out the negative Nancy

simitra · 27/08/2021 15:33

"I really dont mind your giving me unsolicited advice on parenting so long as you dont mind my telling you to feck off!"

Job done.

MsFogi · 27/08/2021 15:36

On the up-side you now know who the insane mum of the class is!

TableFlowerss · 27/08/2021 15:37

YADNBU - the other mother sounds unhinged

godmum56 · 27/08/2021 15:41

Yadnbu. What a nasty cow!

Glaskins · 27/08/2021 15:46

She sounds awful

thepeopleversuswork · 27/08/2021 15:47

@Viviennemary

The mum was ridiculous. But I don't think boasting about how much you've been bought is a habit to be encouraged in children. .
The thing is that to a child it isn't boasting. Children naturally talk in excited terms about what they've been doing in the holidays. They are just as likely to be excited about a trip to McDonalds as a two week holiday in the Seychelles -- they don't discriminate.

Yes flagrant boasting is unattractive and I can see how it could be painful for a child who's been from pillar to post over the summer without a break. But there's no reason to take this out on another child who is more fortunate.

Also there are always going to be people who are wealthier or more fortunate than you in life. You can't insulate children from this.

While its incumbent on parents not to encourage their children to brag, children are going to find out sooner or later than others have more than them. They have to learn how to deal with it.

Glaskins · 27/08/2021 15:50

You could reply "Would you like me to point out your child's faults too?"

Muchasgracias · 27/08/2021 15:54

@UserStillatLarge

The mum sounds bonkers.

But, my children learnt fairly early on (and I don't think 7 is too young) that they should be mindful that not all their classmates had the things they had and were able to go to the places that they did. So it might be that your daughter came across as boastful and showing off?

Well done your kids.

There are loads of kids who were barely socialised during the last 18 months and have missed out on learning the many social skills usually picked up in the early years in the school environment. So a kid finally goes on a trip and is excited/possibly exaggerates a bit...the only person in the wrong here is the really rude school mum.

Changethetoner · 27/08/2021 15:56

OP never said it was a teacher initiated topic. Perhaps her DD (like many) was just excited and chatty. It was ever thus, that some families have amazing holidays, others not. By next week it will be old news, and they will all be focusing on Autumn weather. lol.

I do think it a bit ridiculous that the other mum got so invested in the hearsay of her 7yr old child, telling her what the OP's child allegedly said in class. She needs to get a grip.

elliejjtiny · 27/08/2021 16:01

Yanbu. And don't worry about making the other kids jealous. I have put in a massive effort to organise fun activities for the dc as I'm conscious that with the dc growing up fast, dc2 having mental health issues, dc5 having a disability that gets harder to manage as he gets older, lockdowns etc we need to make the most of our time as a family. I can guarantee that they will say the best times weren't the theme park or the watersports. It will be when we went to McDonalds because I couldn't be bothered to cook or the time that dh let them eat doughnuts in the car Grin.

MancMum2000 · 27/08/2021 16:01

She’s a silly cow. Honestly having kids in school has been an incredible eye opener about how utterly bonkers so many people are. I have accumulated several stories of similarly nutty encounters, I now try and have as little to do with the other school parents as possible.

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