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AIBU?

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Original poster

About DH going out night before child's birthday

51 replies

FreakinFrankNFurter · 27/08/2021 12:50

A while ago DH mentioned going out with a friend to a particular event. He didn't say when it was exactly and i didn't ask.

It is our child's 7th birthday on Sunday and he's having a party at 10am. We've wrapped presents and I'm sorting some things out today ready for the party and the shopping for a family buffet tea in the afternoon after the party. That's all fine

Turns out DH's night out is saturday, the night before DD's party. It will probably be a midnight ish end to the night out, so not reallt late so less likely to be hungover so i'm not too worried about that.

I just feel sad that i will be putting out the presents, a few balloons and decorations in the living room on my own once DD is asleep. It's obviously not difficult, i can easily do it alone, but it feels something DH and i should be doing together ready for her birthday. Like all kids, DD is excited for her birthday and putting things out the night before feels special (to me), a bit like christmas eve. Maybe that's because DD is our only child, i don't know, it's just the way i feel

I'm not sure if I'm reasonable to feel sad and also a bit pissed off that DH didn't think about the night out being the day before DD'S birthday. Or I am being unreasonable and ridiculous and need to give myself a slap with a wet fish?

Would this bother you?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 27/08/2021 12:53

No, it wouldn’t even remotely bother me.

StarryStarrySocks · 27/08/2021 12:55

Nope, it wouldn't bother me at all. Setting out presents and blowing up balloons isn't exactly a two person job.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/08/2021 12:56

i can easily do it alone

I'm not even sure what the problem is here.

Beachmummy23 · 27/08/2021 12:56

Seriously? I have an only child this would not bother me.

TiredButDancing · 27/08/2021 12:57

I'm usually one to get annoyed at men not taking on any of the mental load or the planning etc, but in this case, no it wouldn't bother me. It would bother me if loads of prep for the party needed to be done on Saturday evening and I was left doing it alone. It would also bother me if he was going to be wanting a lie in and a quiet day the following day, again leaving me to do the chores and prep for the party. But it would not bother me that he wasn't there to put out the balloons and presents.

plodalong12 · 27/08/2021 12:57

Pick up the wet fish with the shopping today OP Wink

Porcupineintherough · 27/08/2021 12:58

If the preparations are special to you, that's fine. Enjoy them, they'll stop soon enough. But different things are important/poignant to different parents. Dh was very sad when ours outgrew dress up days at school - he lived making costumes. I was profoundly relieved.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/08/2021 12:58

No, wouldnt even register that it would need two adults or that both should be present to do a few balloons and move the gifts from their hiding place Hmm

DappledThings · 27/08/2021 12:59

I didn't realise putting stuff out before they get up was even a thing let alone one to be miffed about doing alone.

Original poster
FreakinFrankNFurter · 27/08/2021 13:00

@plodalong12 what is my level of ridiculousness - mackerel, seabass, or salmon? Grin

OP posts:
ElleOhWell · 27/08/2021 13:00

Wouldn’t bother me at all! In fact I’d prefer him to be out of the way really as he’d probably just stand around getting in the way.

Newcastleteacake · 27/08/2021 13:01

It almost sounds as though you want yourself and DH to celebrate DD's birthday in advance without her.

What's important is that the 3 of you are together the following day on her birthday. For her. Because that's who it is about, not you.

girlmom21 · 27/08/2021 13:02

This is a complete non-issue for me

Polmuggle · 27/08/2021 13:02

Wouldn't bother me but who knows Earth has a party at 10am on a Sunday! I'd be more annoyed at the time than anything else!

Purplelion · 27/08/2021 13:02

I couldn’t care less about this.
It’s a bit different but I was working the night before my DDs birthday this year, my OH wrapped her presents, built a dolls house and decorated the dining room with banners and balloons, I didn’t even see it until the morning when we all got up!

harriethoyle · 27/08/2021 13:03

[quote FreakinFrankNFurter]@plodalong12 what is my level of ridiculousness - mackerel, seabass, or salmon? Grin[/quote]
Grin Grin

At least you're taking it in good spirit OP!

plodalong12 · 27/08/2021 13:03

@FreakinFrankNFurter
As you questioned it in your OP, I think no more than a light tap with a goldfish on this occasion Grin

FrankButchersDickieBow · 27/08/2021 13:04

I have a spare grip if you need it OP?

Sceptre86 · 27/08/2021 13:04

it would bother me if you had an early activity planned and he was likely to be miserable and have a hangover but you have said that is unlikely. Otherwise no I don't think it is a big issue. Having said that I enjoy decorating our home for my children's birthdays, they get do excited and always love the decorations. This has always been something dh and I have done together and we both seem to enjoy it.

Harvestyo · 27/08/2021 13:05

I'd be bothered if he came in steaming and then was so hungover he was a pain in the arse the next day.

But not about needing to set up on my own.

MamaBearThius · 27/08/2021 13:05

I'm completely with you OP. Children's birthdays have got a magical vibe in our house and we like to set balloon traps for our 5 year old DD (giant boxes full of balloons that will all come flying out when she opens it etc) me and DH have always done birthday prep together and I'd feel pretty gutted if he chose something else.

daisypond · 27/08/2021 13:06

No, it wouldn’t bother me- as long as he was able to help with the party prep the next day. However, I’ve never heard of anyone laying out presents etc the night before. We have never put up decorations. We have a party tablecloth and buy a few party napkins. Birthdays aren’t like Christmas.

rainbowandglitter · 27/08/2021 13:08

Wouldn't bother me. Can't you put up the party decorations together in the morning of the party? Why are they being done the night before?

DollyPartBaked · 27/08/2021 13:08

I would be pissed off if he was hungover and un-engaged or their was a risk he would be. It's the actual birthday that matters not the prep.

MenaiMna · 27/08/2021 13:08

You are about to win a prize here because prepping is easy compared to clean-up. And by leaving you entirely responsible for one he's entirely responsible for the other. I'd take it as a win.