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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much personal spends do you have?

76 replies

WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:19

I want to start getting better control over my spending. I’m thinking about allocating myself £400pm cash so I know when it’s gone it’s gone.

Currently I just whack everything on the credit card and don’t really think about it, we have no savings and a little bit of debt. We’re not struggling at all but I would like to be more secure with savings and start really hammering the mortgage which is currently nearly £400k with another 23 years to go.

DH would like to semi retire in about ten years.

Income is c£5000pm sometimes up to £6k if DH or me work more hours (we both get paid overtime). DH earns the bulk of the money so I want to stop being such a spendy bastard so he can start enjoying it.

Is £400 fair? DH would also get the same amount, although he won’t spend it.

I’m a dirty smoker, and my hobbies are eating out and drinking wine. I don’t really spend on much else. This will be a budget cut for me.

Any tips on how to do it? I’m terrible for frittering so cash is going to make me stop and think.

AIBU to think £400pm is loads of money and I will have no problem sticking to it? Or am I setting myself up to fail miserably?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:19

I should say I am very aware how privileged we are, we also both work very long hours in very demanding jobs.

OP posts:
MaskingForIt · 26/08/2021 15:20

£400 a month after food, bills and mortgage should be fine.

Envoitrevisage · 26/08/2021 15:21

It is plenty of money. But whether or not it will be setting yourself up to fail is presumably more about how much of a change it represents?

Original poster
WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:21

And this would include stuff for the kids, we’ll go 50/50 on things like clothes and days out for them.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 26/08/2021 15:24

It might be a good first step to record all of your outgoings to see where everything is going, and the easiest places to cut back on? It’s easier to get a grip when you know exactly where everything goes rather than just put it on your credit.

DiamondBright · 26/08/2021 15:25

£100 per week just as spending money I'm sure you know is more than sufficient. With that level of income and some debt and not much savings I suspect you spend excessively and that's the challenge.

I can't imagine not having a budget, and I have a reasonable income.

NatMoz · 26/08/2021 15:25

I usually give myself £300pm and rarely spend it. Anything left over goes into savings

onlychildhamster · 26/08/2021 15:28

I generally stick to it. Mine is around £300 per month on average but my personal limit is £400. I have no kids. The £300 includes mobile phone (giffgaff), contact lenses, toiletries (for both of us), makeup and skincare, eating out, shopping, pet care + vet bills (my hamster), public transport (in non covid times, I would use another account to pay for my monthly season ticket but now as I go out only on Saturday and Sunday, it comes out of discretionary spending), some small bits from the supermarket, gifts etc.

BarbaraofSeville · 26/08/2021 15:28

Is there any chance you'd be able to stop smoking? DP found it very easy to do with Champix tablets, after multiple failed attempts using other methods.

Because as well as risking your health, you're literally setting fire to £10 notes and laughing in your DH's face about his early retirement plans Smile

But you might struggle with cash as so many places don't accept it, unless that's your plan, to not be able to spend the money?

Assuming not, you could put the £400 in an account with a debit card that doesn't allow an overdraft and use that. Starling at least offers this feature.

But what will your plan be when the money runs out well before the end of the month? Do without wine, fags and meals out for a few days, or do you seriously think this is going to prompt a change in mindset that seems to have been lacking up to now?

onlychildhamster · 26/08/2021 15:30

Also includes Netflix!

Original poster
WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:30

I usually spend about £800 Blush although tbf that also covers any other things like dinner out for the whole family, birthday presents, takeaways, taxis etc.

So I think if it’s just on me, and then 50/50 on the ‘other’ spends it’s doable.

I have terrible impulse control and do lots of unthinking spending, mostly around food tbh but also things like a £7 taxi for convenience when there’s a £2 bus available. I want to get into the habit of going for the cheaper option instead of the easiest.

OP posts:
OnceTheyDid · 26/08/2021 15:31

If you have no savings but your monthly income is between 5k - 6k, you need a serious over hall of your spending.

Original poster
WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:32

@BarbaraofSeville

Is there any chance you'd be able to stop smoking? DP found it very easy to do with Champix tablets, after multiple failed attempts using other methods.

Because as well as risking your health, you're literally setting fire to £10 notes and laughing in your DH's face about his early retirement plans Smile

But you might struggle with cash as so many places don't accept it, unless that's your plan, to not be able to spend the money?

Assuming not, you could put the £400 in an account with a debit card that doesn't allow an overdraft and use that. Starling at least offers this feature.

But what will your plan be when the money runs out well before the end of the month? Do without wine, fags and meals out for a few days, or do you seriously think this is going to prompt a change in mindset that seems to have been lacking up to now?

I am going to stop smoking (I am, I am), my pathetic excuse is I work in a busy restaurant and literally everybody smokes. I gave up really easily while on furlough and got sucked back in after a week back at work. Hate myself for that tbh.
OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:33

@OnceTheyDid

If you have no savings but your monthly income is between 5k - 6k, you need a serious over hall of your spending.
Yep. This is exactly why I’m doing it. We are mid forties with no savings, a massive mortgage and no cushion. It’s terrible and stupid.
OP posts:
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 26/08/2021 15:35

How the hell do you have time for a cig if you work in a busy restaurant Grin

Original poster
WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:36

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

How the hell do you have time for a cig if you work in a busy restaurant Grin
It’s literally the only break I get! It’s an unspoken rule that managers never take a full break, unless it’s really quiet, just enough time to wolf down some chips. So every couple of hours we excuse ourselves for a five minute fag break.
OP posts:
Original poster
WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:38

I’m also the communal fag packet at work because I feel massive middle class guilt about the minimum wage staff Blush which is ridiculous. I need to put a stop to that.

OP posts:
Miliao · 26/08/2021 15:38

What are you including in that £400 a month? Personally, depending on what’s included, I’m not sure it would be enough if you’re used to spending twice that, and if you’re including children. It’s only £13 a day!

BarbaraofSeville · 26/08/2021 15:38

Good luck with the smoking Smile

Can I suggest that you have a good look at all your spending:

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

If you can cut other costs, it means there's more money available to pay off the mortgage, and help you save. If you can see how much spare money you theoretically have, it might help focus your spending decisions to try and actually save that money, rather than it evaporating on not very much.

Maybe set up different accounts to separate your spending, so you're not at risk of blurring personal/family spending?

scarpa · 26/08/2021 15:40

£400 is a LOT of discretionary spending a month to me now, although I just added up what my (ex-)smoking habit would cost me in today's money and it'd be nearly half that!

Definitely set yourself a budget, and maybe look at ways you can do the things you like cheaper - some kind of wine club? A 'city card' - this is what they're called near me, you join a scheme and get up to 20% discounts at various restaurants etc ...?

Original poster
WhatsAppening · 26/08/2021 15:41

@Miliao

What are you including in that £400 a month? Personally, depending on what’s included, I’m not sure it would be enough if you’re used to spending twice that, and if you’re including children. It’s only £13 a day!
Literally just spending. Fags, takeaway food, meals out, clothes, makeup (I don’t buy much clothes and makeup tbf).

I’ve got into a bad habit of buying a glass of wine at work after a late shift. Even with my discount that’s still a fiver. I buy £7 a bottle wine at home. So I want to get into that mindset.

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 26/08/2021 15:41

I think this won’t work unless you do a proper deep dive into your finances - and then see how much is left to spend.

You must be pretty spendthrift to get through £6k on ‘mostly food’ impulse spending. How much are you spending on wine?

JorisBonson · 26/08/2021 15:42

DH and I don't pool finances but are probably about on par with you guys and I try to allocate myself similar. We don't have kids though so our money is our own, and I don't feel bad if I go over.

JorisBonson · 26/08/2021 15:42

(I am also a dirty smoker and enjoy wine and food!).

BarbaraofSeville · 26/08/2021 15:44

Oh, and to answer your original question, we're the other way round. We each have around £400 but DP spends all his and then some, whereas I spend a lot less, probably averages £150-200 pm, I just save the rest - we've been managing money like this for over a decade and it's built up to a significant amount of money, just because I don't spend much.