How much personal spends do you have?

[WhatsAppening]

I want to start getting better control over my spending. I’m thinking about allocating myself £400pm cash so I know when it’s gone it’s gone.

Currently I just whack everything on the credit card and don’t really think about it, we have no savings and a little bit of debt. We’re not struggling at all but I would like to be more secure with savings and start really hammering the mortgage which is currently nearly £400k with another 23 years to go.

DH would like to semi retire in about ten years.

Income is c£5000pm sometimes up to £6k if DH or me work more hours (we both get paid overtime). DH earns the bulk of the money so I want to stop being such a spendy bastard so he can start enjoying it.

Is £400 fair? DH would also get the same amount, although he won’t spend it.

I’m a dirty smoker, and my hobbies are eating out and drinking wine. I don’t really spend on much else. This will be a budget cut for me.

Any tips on how to do it? I’m terrible for frittering so cash is going to make me stop and think.

AIBU to think £400pm is loads of money and I will have no problem sticking to it? Or am I setting myself up to fail miserably?

I always find threads like this a bit strange. Surely you know that £400 is a lot of money to have just as pocket money op? Most people don't even have £100 left over after bills, let alone £400. Not a dig btw, just genuinely curious.

Isn't your husband's salary too high to be receiving child benefit?

@user1471457751

Isn't your husband's salary too high to be receiving child benefit?

We get it and then pay it back in tax.

@Putthekettleon7

I always find threads like this a bit strange. Surely you know that £400 is a lot of money to have just as pocket money op? Most people don't even have £100 left over after bills, let alone £400. Not a dig btw, just genuinely curious.

Yep I was quite clear that I know how privileged I am. But it’s still a budget cut.

It’s been helpful to know that a lot of other people have around that per month.

I’m out for dinner and cocktails right now and this will be around £100. So right there is 25% of my spends.

Fair enough @WhatsAppening. I'm not sure if lots of other people have that amount each month though. Enjoy the cocktails

Most people don't even have £100 left over after bills, let alone £400

That's probably not actually true. There's certainly a lot of people out and about spending discretionary money.

I never have cocktails though, because they just seem stupidly expensive and I can't taste the alcohol, so feel even more of a rip off.

Lucky them @BarbaraofSeville. Definitely just the people that I know then, including myself. Agree with you on the cocktails though, bloody £9:50 for a porn star martini in Liverpool Docks (friend took me out couple months ago for my birthday).

I'm the same in that I mindlessly spend. It became much more apparent when contactless became a thing, I just tap using my phone and don't really pay attention the what I'm actually spending. I've never really given myself an allowance (I know this is privileges that I've never worried about it) but I just sort of balance out month to month. Some months I spend more, others I spend much less. Just depends on what I'm doing.

DH would like to semi retire in about ten years.

Well that's not going to happen with £400k left to pay on a 23 mortgage still left. Is he going to leave you to pay it?

It also won't happen with no savings and using credit cards.

@BarbaraofSeville

Most people don't even have £100 left over after bills, let alone £400

That's probably not actually true. There's certainly a lot of people out and about spending discretionary money.

I never have cocktails though, because they just seem stupidly expensive and I can't taste the alcohol, so feel even more of a rip off.

Get a Long Island Iced Tea. About 5 shots in it and one will be pretty heavy.

£13 at the sky garden last week in London

@Putthekettleon7 I don't want to sound spoilt but DH and I have no kids (I am 28 and he is 30). We are on £4200 which is quite a bit less than OP's £5000, but we don't have 3 kids and 2 dogs, so in a way, have more spending power than OP. Mortgage is £1020, I do an extra £1000 in mortgage overpayments every month so £2000 on the mortgage every month.... but we don't have much left after that. We have no car, pay no tv license or have tv. Gas, electric, water, broadband £300 per month. I have £400 spending money. I think its tight, I don't think we could survive on much less. My phone is £140 which I paid in cash, DH's phone is 8 years old. All our furniture was from Muji/Ikea/Made- paid for in cash. We shop at Waitrose, but we do buy stuff from Aldi, ASDA etc. DH has returned to the office and gets lunches at Canary Wharf, they aren't allowed to use the microwave at the office 'due to covid' ,.

We do eat out a lot and go out every weekend to lovely places around london though we do have a railcard and get 30% off rail tickets. We have Netflix- £5.99 per month. I have a beauty pie subscription- £5. Synagogue membership - £30. I buy quite a lot of makeup and skincare- but most are reasonably priced with a few luxury products. I don't spend lots on clothes either- they are almost all £35 and below. DH does have a beer/wine habit.

But still I never thought until I read this thread that this was a lot of disposable income or even a luxurious lifestyle. I thought most people spent far more than me, esp when i read mumsnet threads, cos our lives seem quite spartan in comparison. My husband told me that we are low earners.

@ActonSquirrel

DH would like to semi retire in about ten years.

Well that's not going to happen with £400k left to pay on a 23 mortgage still left. Is he going to leave you to pay it?

It also won't happen with no savings and using credit cards.

Downsizing the house!

I know you are asking about your spending money. But the point of cutting it back is to save. What strikes me from your budget is your mortgage is enormous. So in terms of spending you can reduce is there any possibility of down sizing or moving to a cheaper area?

Yes your income seems like a lot on paper but three teens and 2k on housing payments alone means your outgoings will be high. So I think mindset is also an issue. It seems you're spending like you're on a 6k income a month but you're on £4k. But honestly that's still a lot

That Sky bill is insane! Granted, we're with Virgin, but we have fast broadband (IT professional husband plus 5 kids), decent TV package but no sports, and 5 mobile contracts. We pay less than £80 a month.

You don't sound spoilt @onlychildhamster.
At the end of the day everyone's circumstances are different, aren't they. I earn a lot less than you but I also live in a cheaper part of the country - I'm assuming you are in London btw?
Once I've paid all my bills/rent every month I am usually left with around £250-£280 but food costs, petrol, gas, electric, car repairs, savings and any emergencies have to be squeezed from that money. It's not often that I'm left with much spending money, the odd cinema trip or meal out (Wetherspoons) here and there but that's about it, so £400 a month just for spending money sounds like a luxury to me personally. It was the the question "is £400 enough for spends" that got me as I think the answer should be obvious given that most people have a lot less. (again, not a dig at you op, I've seen it so many times on here before) and in all fairness to the op she did say that she knows she's privileged. There are some posters on here who plead poverty when it's clearly not the case and it would be interesting to see how they'd actually cope if they were put in that situation! I feel privileged that I can afford to keep a roof over my head and buy food every day as many people can't even afford the basics. The way I see it is that there is always someone worse off than yourself...

Hope you enjoyed your cocktails op, I feel a little jealous now actually haha

In terms of downsizing, my reality is that, with adults dc, we seem to have moved from being a family of 5 (like you) to being a family of 8 (dc + partners). Where possible, they like to be here at the same time as each other, so they can see each other. "Downsizing" as a financial plan, isn't quite so straight forwards as you might think

However, I think the issue here is you are looking at things back to front.
I would look at the making sure the things you have to pay, are good vfm (so seriously, take a look at what you are paying both for TV and for your mobiles - that is a ridiculous amount if you are serious about reining in your spending), and I would look at putting all the overtime you earn aside for overpaying the mortgage, and then cutting your cloth to suit what money you have, rather than starting with "how much do I need for treats". Treats / luxuries are what people have after meeting obligations.

Overtime isn’t counted in our budget, at least it won’t be now. Before I just spent without thinking, some months I’d be up and done months down so it evened out but nothing put aside.

@Putthekettleon7 I eloped with my husband shortly after graduating from university and we lived in Berlin for a year while he was doing his masters. He bought me my ring and air ticket by saving his student loan money and eating Netto (its a german chain that is cheaper than Lidl) frozen jalapenos + rice for several months. We had very very little money as I entered as a tourist and had to wait for my marriage to be finalized before I could get any sort of residency. And so all we had was student loan money.

A memorable episode: We couldn't afford Ikea delivery for all our household items when we moved flat so we only got delivery for the bed. We transported a small table and shelf on the bus; of course I couldn't manage to carry it, a very kind eastern european couple helped us to carry it. Another memorable episode: we could only afford the cheapest hostel when we were between flats and once when I was drying my hair in the corridor, this weird man kept sexually harassing me; my husband kept getting hit on by drunk tourists; we could not leave that place quickly enough, once we got the keys to our flat, we didn't care we only had the mattress, we literally just left the hostel even though we were booked in for an extra night. We couldn't afford a washing machine either, so we had to go to a laundry using the subway; once my phone got stolen there as a man tried to ask me how to use the machines and a kid snatched my phone while I was helping him.

However! in spite of all those difficulties, we were in love so it didn't matter. Like even sharing a burger at burger king (using a voucher of course) or fish and chips at Nordsee was special. So I definitely know that I can live on much less because I have done it before. However, i think it is much easier to do it when you are young because you are fit and healthy and think nothing of walking 5 miles to save some train money. And its easier to do it without children because adults are much more resilient- kids would have been screaming and crying the whole way through.

We are much better off now. We own our own flat in London, we both have jobs, we can afford holidays etc But sometimes I am shocked at how much we spend cos it would have been unthinkable in the early days of our marriage. But yet at the same time as I grew up in comfortable circumstances, I am 'used to those luxuries'. Its very conflicting.

I would set up a standing order to overpay your mortgage by x amount each month. Then you can't spend it

Pissing so much away every month when you have no savings is lame and loser-ish, tbh. Understandable if you're early twenties but shite otherwise.

@Flatdisco

I know you are asking about your spending money. But the point of cutting it back is to save. What strikes me from your budget is your mortgage is enormous. So in terms of spending you can reduce is there any possibility of down sizing or moving to a cheaper area?

Yes your income seems like a lot on paper but three teens and 2k on housing payments alone means your outgoings will be high. So I think mindset is also an issue. It seems you're spending like you're on a 6k income a month but you're on £4k. But honestly that's still a lot

For a detached house? Our mortgage is more than double OP's. Based on their water provider they are also in the South/SE so I think they've done well.

DH and I opened Monzo accounts to manage our spending money.

We have a joint account for meals out & entertainment together and then we each have our own Monzo accounts too.

It's a revelation seeing how we spend and in what, it's such a user friendly app to track things on. I highly recommend you use it. I've never been more in touch with my money.
(And my luxury handbag savings pot is coming along nicely )

Follow with interest. My savings are so low 😩

How do you normally do your book-keeping? Excel sheet or handwriting 🤔
Please share your methods. Thanks 😊

@bananapumpkin that's why I asked about moving to a cheaper area or downsizing. It doesn't matter what the mortgage is for or where the house is if it is still a significant (poss too much) part of your spending.

Does op need to live in a detached house in the south east/London with no savings? This is a perfectly reasonable question. I personally moved out of London in order to be in a much stronger financial position as do many other people where/when they can.