He has been to work 13 hours today ...aibu to have had enough?

[kellybrit45]

Been together a year
Live together but his job is ruining us.
He left for work at 8.30 am
Started work at 9am and he is still there now at 10 pm
He is the manager and is under a lot of pressure but what's the point in this.
He has a Thursday off and a Sunday off ( but not bank holiday sundays )
We can never do anything on a weekend
I spend it alone.
Sometimes he gets home at midnight just to start work at 9am
Aibu to be fed up of this crap?

That's definitely not unusual for hospitality.

DH works shifts, and with my hours we can go well over a week without seeing each other. But I knew and accepted this before I even agreed to move in with him.

@Letthelightoflove he has said he doesn't want to do this forever but I think he says that because he knows it's what I want to hear.
I don't want to suggest things to him as it's got to be off his own back ..I just don't see him ever having the get up and go to change it at all tbh.

Tell him how you feel, be brutally honest. Is he prepared to change careers? Do you have a future if he continues like this? Do you want kids? It’s time to have a proper chat.

Then the next question is whether this is a deal breaker for you. Staying and resenting him for it will make both of you miserable.

I couldn't live like that OP.
He lives to work, and you work to live.
Sounds like you're not compatible.

I could have written this. DP works sometimes from 10am-3am the next day, he also works in hospitality (weddings) and its training to be a chef. our days off only match sometimes and even then, things need doing. this week I spent my sunday off cleaning with him. Monday he worked. he has 2 days off this week tuesday and wednesday, then working through till next monday. I'm totally and completely fed up with it, but we're saving for a house and paying debts off so we desperately need the money. He is tired all the time, and I have severe anxiety. i crave the days we see each other as we don't live together yet. And even then, i just want us to do something. but we dont. All our money goes into savings and we do not have time for dates or anything. we're just surviving atm as we will have time to live after. it really does get me down.

i know this wasn't really advice, but... i feel you.